I am almost out of an abusive marriage, abusive marriage #2.
I was abused as a child also, so that is a contributing factor also.
I just read this article and it helped me to understand myself, why I stayed, the conflicting emotions and how the brain reacts and what may help to keep us from falling back.
I find it extremely helpful to understand the "whys", it helps me to slow down and not react to feelings but to carefully consider the realities. My gut is still a bit off so I need to be careful in protecting myself.
The article is by Dr. Joseph Carver, I can't remember the exact title but there are articles on his website, the one that really hit home was Stockholm Syndrome?, not about the event itself but the way the mind of an abused partner works and why we accept the abuse and why we stay, why it is so very hard to recognize and get out.
It helped me to understand myself and to stop beating myself up for being so "weak" that I chose to stay.
Hope this can help others.Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie