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Newest Member: heartbrokenmrsj (44312)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Response to Email about Taking Infant DS
NewMom0220
♀ Member
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not granted. Not enough evidence. :(

Resisting the urge to call him. I know I can't. I want to talk to him and reason with him but know I can't. I know the guy I used to love is dead. I have to be in warrior mode now. But the old me who used to talk to him and rationalize things with him...I can't let her do it. Ultimately I do want him to be a good dad and have his time with DS, but he is the one playing all these games. It's sad.


Me: BS 36
Him: WS 37
14 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 329 | Registered: Apr 2013
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Angry  Posted: 5:02 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NOT GRANTED????? WTF?????

Didn't your sister provide her testimony as well??? What???


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9313 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Document the threats, all of them. Have your sister write out her experience.

Use these threats to cement your nerve this weekend. Be strong with your defense and caution. If he gets ugly or threatening in person, you can return to court.

Keep in touch with the abuse advocates. They will be able to help you with advice and what to document, how to state your experiences to get the ruling you need.

He is unstable. He has shown that.

Even though you appeared in court today and were denied, the paper trail of his behavior has begun.

Hang in there!!!!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5615 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder if you can have an off duty cop there posing as a friend of the family as an impartial witness if he acts up, preferably someone big and physically intimidating.


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 858 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry they didn't grant it. Did they at least set a date for your temp hearing so this can be solved?

Stand tall this weekend. He doesn't leave the house with DS. I agree, see if your sister's partner or some colleague would come dressed as a civilian and just be a witness of any behaviour.

You can do this girl. I have faith in you.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5373 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto what everyone else said. And get a VAR! This guy is losing it and you need proof of his threats. Do not think of thie filing of the PO as a waste of time. Even though it was not granted, the court now has a record that you filed for it and so they also have a record of the evidence that you provided. Just keep accumulating that evidence.

And stay strong!!
(((hugs)))


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17605 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I sincerely hope he does not show up today and that you are able to stay safe! If he does show this weekend, please check in frequently so we know you're ok!


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 858 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And get a VAR! This guy is losing it and you need proof of his threats.
Agree 100%. And your family members may want to carry them, also.

(((((newmom))))) Stay strong, honey.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24438 | Registered: Aug 2011
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Any updates?


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Jun 2007
Cally60
♀ Member
Member # 23437
Default  Posted: 2:57 AM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aunti SIL, grandaddy, and grandma are coming. SIL was only free Friday and Saturday hence the change up. She could really use some DS time after losing [her dog]. We will probably pick him up Saturday around 10:00

So he's bringing an entire posse?
He apparently thought that would get him unsupervised visitation.
And he lost control and raged at your sister at work when you stood firm.

I'm with those who are very concerned, NewMom0220. I think that he may seriously have planned to take and keep your baby. :-(

A kidnap would be easier with his parents there to tend to the baby during the drive home. It is even possible that his parents and sister were in on the plan. (His superfluous explanation of his sister's reason for coming reinforces that suspicion.)

I'm really sorry that you weren't granted the Order of Protection. I think that Nature_Girl's suggestion of blocking in his family's vehicle(s) was excellent. I really think you should do it, if your husband does indeed stick to the visitation plan this weekend.

I'll be thinking of you. {{NewMom}}


Posts: 2089 | Registered: Mar 2009
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you and hoping you your son and family members are safe! Please know I am praying for your protection. Please update us when you can.


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 858 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hoping for the best for you tonight. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4586 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me, too! ^^

Hoping you can check in soon!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5615 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
anewday78
♂ Member
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After this weekend, tell him he is not welcome to see his son until visitation orders are put in place. Tell him that after the stunt he pulled this past weekend, you're over dealing with his ridiculous bullshit. If he doesn't like it, then he should light a fire under his attorney's ass to get the ball rolling with negotiations. No further discussions about it until a judge decides. Period.

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 12:28 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm worried things didn't go well. Anybody heard from her?


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Jun 2007
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking about you and hoping things went ok.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4554 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok I am officially worried. I think there needs to be a way to reach out to someone who we are worried about. Especially since she has not logged on since Thursday! Praying she and DS are ok.


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home. We are slowly working toward that but are still

Posts: 263 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm also concerned. I'm hoping she's just been too busy & exhausted to update us.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9313 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
LeopoldB
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping with prayers and good wishes.


Posts: 184 | Registered: Sep 2013
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let us know you are ok when you have a change NewMom. I know there is probably so much going on, and you are trying to process it all, but when you are up to it, just send us a quick note so we know you are ok. Details can wait.

((hugs))


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5373 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 76
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