There is a big difference between Reconciliation and Staying Married.
I did just stay married. I had no intention to R. He already burned me so bad for so long, then couldn't even man up and confess to the things he did. Till this day.
I gave it a year like everyone suggested, haven't dated, no RA, I have no intention to date or take WH back. Ever! It's a done deal.
Good luck to everyone in real R. It seems hard, but I know you can all do it.
Blackesteele, you got it so right. His IC specializes in chemical dependency bc he's an alcoholic. They like to tell me that's why he did those things. It does fit perfectly for him. He doesn't have to tell me the truth. I told WH yesterday, his lies and inability to tell the truth is what inevitably destroyed us.
For the record, I'm going to move to D/S board. I don't want to bum you all out with what you are striving for in real R.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 12:10 PM, December 5th (Thursday)]
While they definitely still are a major part of why I work so hard at R, they are not the only reason. I do not believe that two miserable married people make for good parents or role models for their children. If I did not love my W, we would not be married.
[This message edited by rachelc at 3:31 PM, December 5th (Thursday)]
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...
Children definitely add a critical element to the decision making process, but I think that in the end you don't have to stay for the kids if you are miserable.
Something that many members are constantly telling me is that you get to take as much time as you need to figure this out. That calms me down most days.