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User Topic: Homeschooling Sahm duties...
little turtle
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Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not reasonable. Don't let him treat you like this.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4223 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Member # 1214
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(and he said "Its easy for you, you don't have responsibilities"

And he topped that off with calleing me a worthless piece of shit)

IF my husband would say something like this to me SAHM or not, I would say get your own DAM supper. I am your wife NOT your mother. AND i have a life

OH I would be fuming!!!!!

so sorry he does this

I love my husband and kids, but there is something missing, LIKE MAYBE A LIFE!!!!!!!

Posts: 6508 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: Wisconsin
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Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess my view is different. I'm older (53) and when I was a SAHM, I ran a daycare out of the house. I had 6 little ones from 6:30 in the morning until 6:00 in the evening.

I kept a schedule. Everyone had to have quiet time every afternoon (nap). I did the lunch dishes during that time. At 5:00, everyone helped pick up toys and tidy the house and I started supper. I did laundry during the day while the kids were playing and hung it outside to dry whenever the weather cooperated. (The kids came outside with me to play.)

Now granted I didn't home school them, but we did have reading time and craft time every day.

My XWH never DEMANDED I do any of that but I saw it as my "job." He let me sleep in every weekend while he spent time with the boys. But I did the majority of the housework and parenting and considered myself lucky to be able to spend that time at home with my sons.

My DIL is a SAHM with 2 in school and a 4 year old at home all day. Her house is always a mess - not just clutter, but DIRTY. My son comes home after a 10 hour work day and fixes supper because the kids are hungry and asking for something to eat. DIL is not a morning person and at least 2x last school year the kids were late getting to school because she overslept.

I know there is a happy medium between these two scenarios.

I would not put up with abuse from my husband - and in your situation - this sounds like abuse.


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7779 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The "worthless piece of shit" comment. for you.

He needs to apologize sincerely, you need to determine what the consequence will be if it happens again.

Dinner, I work full time but still cook dinner every night. But on the nights when I don't feel like cooking, or am tied up with work, my h is capable of feeding himself a sandwich or some leftovers.

You know in your heart this is not acceptable. When he gets through this project, time to have a "come to Jesus" talk about expectations.

I would also strongly suggest you start finding some ways to put $$ aside for yourself, if you feel financially dependent in a relationship where you are devalued, it becomes difficult to draw those much needed boundaries.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6655 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
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Member # 23717
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Only you and your H can determine how labor is divided in your family. What works for your family may not work for others.

For our family, I do find it to be a reasonable expectation that DH cooks daily. I'm often not home for dinner. I work 6-7 days a week, for anywhere between 60-65 hours. He works 20 hours a week. I also expect my husband to do the laundry and the grocery shopping.

The name calling/verbal abuse is completely unacceptable, though.

Posts: 1296 | Registered: Apr 2009
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was the one that went off to work every day, while my SO was home/worked significantly less than me.

I expected something to be prepared for dinner every night, unless we had agreed upon something else (going out to eat, me picking up take out on my way home...)

It didn't have to be an elaborate meal - could have been as simple as a grilled cheese and some chips. But it was important to me that if I was going to spend 40+ hours a week working to financially support us, that my SO would find other ways to contribute by managing the home.

Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2281 | Registered: Feb 2010
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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