I guess my view is different. I'm older (53) and when I was a SAHM, I ran a daycare out of the house. I had 6 little ones from 6:30 in the morning until 6:00 in the evening.
I kept a schedule. Everyone had to have quiet time every afternoon (nap). I did the lunch dishes during that time. At 5:00, everyone helped pick up toys and tidy the house and I started supper. I did laundry during the day while the kids were playing and hung it outside to dry whenever the weather cooperated. (The kids came outside with me to play.)
Now granted I didn't home school them, but we did have reading time and craft time every day.
My XWH never DEMANDED I do any of that but I saw it as my "job." He let me sleep in every weekend while he spent time with the boys. But I did the majority of the housework and parenting and considered myself lucky to be able to spend that time at home with my sons.
My DIL is a SAHM with 2 in school and a 4 year old at home all day. Her house is always a mess - not just clutter, but DIRTY. My son comes home after a 10 hour work day and fixes supper because the kids are hungry and asking for something to eat. DIL is not a morning person and at least 2x last school year the kids were late getting to school because she overslept.
I know there is a happy medium between these two scenarios.
I would not put up with abuse from my husband - and in your situation - this sounds like abuse.