This Topic is Archived
Gajit (original poster member #40665) posted at 7:04 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
Someone recently told me that it is possible to sue the OW after a long marriage.
Now I'm thinking.........
Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.
steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 7:07 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
It depends on your state. Google "alienation of affection" and your state. There are only a handful left that you can. I wish. I want the money my WH paid her back.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
Gajit (original poster member #40665) posted at 7:09 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
Well, part of their A was in fact, in a state that allows such lawsuits.
I'm thinking I should ask my lawyer about this asap.
Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.
heforgotme ( member #38391) posted at 7:12 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
Well, part of their A was in fact, in a state that allows such lawsuits.
If so, then I would definitely pursue. None of the THREE states they had sex in allowed this. But if they would have I would have gone for it full force.
D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry
Razor ( member #16345) posted at 7:16 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
I really wish alienation of affection were allowed in all states. And change the law so that *no fault* D can NOT happen in M with abuse or infidelity.
Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche
weeping willow ( member #22800) posted at 7:29 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
In Wisconsin, where I live, adultery is a felony and punishable by 2 years in a state prison and up to a $10,000.00 fine. You used to be able to sue for alienation of affection here, but not anymore.
You might want to check your State Statutes and see if adultery is illegal in your state.
Good luck to you.
BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 40 years
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 7:33 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
Weeping willow, so are you going to press charges. I know I would.
Sorry for the t/j.
I know with my STBXH and his whore partner that they started in HI. But 2.5 years later, when I found out about the ongoing A, neigher lived in HI anymore. It was just too costly to go to back to HI. Not even sure if it was legal anymore to sue.
But anywhoo, HI is defiitely one of the states that you can sue for alienation of affection.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
weeping willow ( member #22800) posted at 8:09 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
t/j. StillLivin, no, because she is so unworthy of any time, attention or effort from me. She's a zero, and that's what she gets from me...nothing. But I must say, I had to smile when the karma bus ran her over big time!
end t/j.
BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 40 years
Gajit (original poster member #40665) posted at 8:12 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
It may not be financially beneficial for me to sue the OW.
BUT.....it could be a good strategy in getting a good settlement!
"The suits rarely make it to trial. Usually, just the threat of such a lawsuit is enough for an out-of-court settlement."
Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.
Gajit (original poster member #40665) posted at 8:18 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
HAH!
They have had trysts in 2 states where alienation of affection is allowed to be the basis of a lawsuit!
This info made my day!
Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.
hopingforhappy ( member #29288) posted at 8:20 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
It is possible in some states. My state is one of them. While it is tempting, I will tell you that these cases are expensive to litigate and difficult to prove. It can be hard to find a lawyer willing to take the case and they certainly will not take it a contingency basis. There have been a few large verdicts. If you want to throw a scare into her, you could have a lawyer write a letter to her, telling her that you may pursue the case--you could try to get a few $$ in settlement, if that would make you feel better. Going full bore and actually suing her would probably be a waste of your time, money and emotional energy.
Me--BW (57)
Him--FWH (54)--5yr. LTA--OW probably BPD
Married 21 years
DS-19, DD-16
Reconciling--but boy is it hard!
Eudaimonia ( member #32445) posted at 8:25 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
In Wisconsin, where I live, adultery is a felony and punishable by 2 years in a state prison and up to a $10,000.00 fine.
What is the job market like and how is the cost of housing?
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
womaninflux ( member #39667) posted at 8:31 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
I think you have to reside in a state in which the Alienation of Affection lawsuit can be filed. And obviously, that would be where at least some of the affair took place.
I asked my attorney about this kind of litigation. It usually just ends up costing the plaintiff a lot of legal fees. And good luck collecting anything even if you are successful. The one thing it DOES succeed in is making it public and ruining the OP's reputation (and sometimes that of the other parties involved).
Be careful…if it were easy everyone would be doing this.
BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"
Kierst13 ( member #39197) posted at 10:43 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
I asked my attorney about this kind of litigation. It usually just ends up costing the plaintiff a lot of legal fees. And good luck collecting anything even if you are successful. The one thing it DOES succeed in is making it public and ruining the OP's reputation (and sometimes that of the other parties involved).
Be careful…if it were easy everyone would be doing this.
All of this. As far as the states that have laws on the books; I doubt many DAs are jumping all over prosecuting infidelity.
Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!
Gajit (original poster member #40665) posted at 10:50 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
No, no, no....
I was just thinking of using it as a bargaining tool for when I might have to negotiate with WH about our divorce settlement. He is fiercely protective of her. He knows how crazy is born in me. AND....he's not the brightest bulb in the box.
Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.
Lost15 ( member #40898) posted at 3:56 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
stbxh is being sued for alienation of affection by mow's husband. I think it was at first a bargaining tool to get her to come back but she didn't. Now the lawsuit is moving forward as far as I know. I honestly debated on doing the same to mow but just didn't think I could deal with any more crap. This divorce is taking enough out of me.
me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.
Divorced: Jan 27,2015 (Ds 16th BDay)He rem
Lost15 ( member #40898) posted at 3:59 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
I know you have to be able to show you and your spouse were happily married (or something like that. And you have to have proof of the affair. It wasn't to hard for mow's husband because she moved into my home with stbxh.
me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.
Divorced: Jan 27,2015 (Ds 16th BDay)He rem
Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 4:06 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
Unless this was repealed in a few states, it's actually 7 (Hawaii, Illinois, North Carolina, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, and Utah). It is difficult to prove, and expensive, from what I understand. In the other states, you can sue for criminal conversation, which seems to be a watered down version of AoA. Even more difficult to prove, is my understanding.
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now:-----> Everything is as it should be
Dreamland ( member #40488) posted at 7:13 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
I would sue if I could but alas not in Texas. Yes it cost money but you could get a settlement against her and if they ever married its on him.
I would love to lynch that bitch
Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore
RippedSoul ( member #40055) posted at 7:27 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
She lives in UT; he lives in CA. They were intimate in UT, NM, and HI. So if I wanted to sue (although I don't right now), I could, right? But I don't live in those states, so how would that even work? Does "it" have to have just happened there?
BW: 55; SLAWH: 52; M: 28 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute 1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (WH confessed: P1, AP, escorts 1 & 2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 26; DD: 24; DS: 22; DS: 20
I've never NOT edited my posts.
This Topic is Archived