Topic: Do you ever think of getting back?
Member # 38924
| Posted: 1:29 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Does anyone ever fantasize about getting back with ex? I do, then I think how disgusting he is and all the horrible, horrible things he did to me for so long. Then, poof, that fantasy is over. I guess we will always miss the good times, the warm thought, the good memories of why we were with them in the first place...Feeling nostalgic today because of the holidays, I guess. Too bad, he messed up so bad or else he'd have his loyal little wifie and great kids, still. Too bad for him. I actually pity the fool!! lol.
Me-BW 35. STBXH-35,active alcoholic, suspected NPD SA. 2 little boys. M 6yrs T13.
Year+ false R & TT from Dday1 Nov 2012 IEA - Feb 2014 count at 10 OW PA's 1LTA (all W lied to) for 3 years that I know of.
S, gonna D.
Posts: 796 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
Member # 14003
| Posted: 1:35 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
No, it's not ever anything I've ever given thought too. Once I was done, I was done. And to be honest, I don't remember the good times. I know we had some, but the bad times completely overshadowed them so that's all I remember from my time with him.
"Some of us don't see people how they are, but how we need them to be".....quote from Uncertainone
Posts: 13279 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 38865
| Posted: 1:38 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
I did at one point, even wrote out a list of R requirements. It was helpful as I knew he was incapable of meeting them. Re-affirmed to me that there is no going back.
Me: Awesome - 35
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –
Posts: 617 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Member # 32554
| Posted: 1:43 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
Posts: 8374 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 37063
| Posted: 1:50 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
What nature_girl said!!
Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
Posts: 199 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 10310
| Posted: 2:11 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
The nostalgic naive girl who married her HS boyfriend will always wonder what if. The grown up who had her hearth broken into a million piece won't ever allowed her mind to wonder nonsense
Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...
Posts: 3145 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
Member # 12908
| Posted: 2:21 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Does anyone ever fantasize about getting back with ex?
BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09
Posts: 9101 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
Member # 30341
| Posted: 2:23 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Posts: 2750 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Member # 9344
| Posted: 2:25 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
I had the opportunity to reconcile post D and decided against it. He is in my (romantic) past now. No regrets.
She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.
Posts: 7603 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
Member # 10552
| Posted: 3:27 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Once we separated for the last time, nope, not even once.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Posts: 15216 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
Member # 33882
| Posted: 3:28 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
NO WAY IN HELL.
him (NPD Ex)
"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."
Posts: 2431 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Member # 10516
| Posted: 3:42 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Never, never, ever. I gave him too many chances to become a better person and do the right thing and he never did. Won't even acknowledge he has done anything wrong.
Once I was done, I was done. And to be honest, I don't remember the good times. I know we had some, but the bad times completely overshadowed them so that's all I remember from my time with him. The bad went on so long, I really can't remember much else anymore.
Me: BS 52
Son: 26 years old
Daughter: 24 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Posts: 7381 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
Member # 32948
| Posted: 4:05 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Yes I did. I gave him the offer to reconcile if he got anger management, stopped the drinking and some other stuff. He led me on for months thinking he really wanted to work it out but at the same time telling everyone he was divorcing me cause "I didn't like his music or his friends". Once I heard that shit from people I got royally pissed and made a lovely fb post stating "stop lying about your wife and admit to the 5 women you cheated with". I left it up for roughly 9 hours. I had no idea that all of his friends could see it (I am so fb illiterate), I just thought he would see it. Man was he pissed off cause I told the world he wasn't "Mr. Wonderful".
Now when I get nostalgic and think of the marriage I remind myself of the emotional, verbal and darn near physical abuse that I put up with and I slap myself back to reality. I don't even know the man he is now but I don't like him and would rather spend life alone than tolerating all his npd crap.
Make a list of all the reasons why you left him/her and put it up on your fridge. When you get lonely or sad.. go and read it and you will see why you are so much better off without the cheater. You deserve better, you deserve love, you deserve happiness and you deserve peace.
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Learning who I am again!
Member # 15584
| Posted: 6:08 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
I gave XH a final chance several months after we divorced. We lasted a year before I found out he had recently gotten back together with OW...I knew he had kept in touch with her throughout the year, but I had high hopes that he was done seeing her. After that, that was the end of it for me.
happiness is a direction, not a place.
Posts: 3858 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Member # 17185
| Posted: 6:08 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Hah! No freakin' way.
I fantasize now and then of kicking him to the curb the first year of marriage. I astound myself with how naive I was.
They were right about you.
Posts: 665 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
Member # 26576
| Posted: 6:33 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Omg! I actually opened up this forum because I thought it was more on the lines of "do you ever think of getting back... at him", lol!
I have thought of getting a couple of crack heads or someone to just rob and maybe just beat the shit out if him. Not kill him that's probably what he wants! Just kind of brake a few bones ya know. I know this sounds sick but it's just what I thought this was about.
BS (me) 47
WS (him) 70
Together 7 1/2 years
married 6 years
no children together
Happily divorced 1/29/13!
Posts: 93 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: got2go
Member # 34146
| Posted: 7:09 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Nope -- any fantasies revolve around listening to my gut way early on and dating one of the other guys interested in me at the same time I chose XWH (college, so more options then.) I loved being married, and think about how much better it would have been had I chosen to marry a good man.
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
Posts: 3011 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 33699
| Posted: 7:17 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Oh NO! That ship sailed a long time ago. Nothing could make me go there again.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
Posts: 2917 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 40075
| Posted: 7:40 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
Got2Go---I checked this post thinking the same thing you were---hilarious! Although I don't think I would go so far as paying some crack heads to settle things. Maybe just put her in one of those stock things like they did in medieval times, in the middle of the town square. For like a week or so.
On a side note, I'd swallow 10 gallons of melted glass before I'd hook up with my loser X again.
Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
Divorced and Done!--7/13
Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
Member # 40898
| Posted: 10:08 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013|
I am still going through the divorce process but yes at times. I think part of my feelings come from the fact that I didn't have a even a chance at R, he was already gone before I even knew what was happening. Some days I wonder if in a few years we could get back together. Then reality hits and I realize I don't want someone like that, a lier and cheater who will hurt the one person who loved him unconditionally. I know I am still healing. One day I will be like many of you and my answer will be Hell NO everyday instead of every few days.
me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.
Posts: 89 | Registered: Oct 2013
|Topic Posts: 47|