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Newest Member: 44years (45365)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Do you ever think of getting back?
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another 2011-er chiming in with a HELL NO. Couldn't pay me enough to do it for a minute. Nope. No way.

Were you 2011's at hell no right away, or did it take some time to get there?
I was at "hell no" on dday, before I even confronted wasband. I never wavered from it, in part due to his amazing ability to be a horse's ass on the regular.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not much of a masochist. Once I got to the point where I couldn't see the back of my teeth anymore, I moved straight into the "oh hell no!" category.

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a late 2011. Unfortunately I still think about what it would be like he if got his head out of his a**. Highly unlikely. And every day I do get more clarity about why he is not a good spouse for me.

I don't want these feelings. But as my therapist's says, its ok to have these feelings.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 786 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a HELL NO person now, but it took me a long time to get there - 3 1/2 years or so.

I think part of my feelings come from the fact that I didn't have a even a chance at R, he was already gone before I even knew what was happening.

^^This was a big part of why it took me so long. I think the abandonment on top of the infidelity (and just after empty nest) completely flattened me. It was a lot to cope with and it took a long time to crawl out of that mess. This crap ain't for sissies, that's for sure.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5297 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
AussieMum
♀ Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NEVER! Not in a million years, even if he came up my street on his knees. Not if I was offered a world of riches.

And I've been HELL NO from DDay. He disgusts me.


Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes...have been in process of R for a year and a half now.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2232 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I sometimes do, but I recently had what felt like an epiphany. For the first time, I felt I could handle checking out the "Just Found Out" forum. I came to this site much later and have not strayed much from NB. As I read all of the wisdom and advice in JFO, it came to me, for the first time, that MY ex had done all of those things to me (gaslighting, et al) and I just didn't recognize it in him - I thought...I can't even explain what I thought. And also for the first time, I have kept my boundaries very strict and now he won't speak to me in the very few times we have crossed paths. And I find that it doesn't bother me in the least. For him not to speak to me, he must be upset about something. Compartmentalize that, asshole.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 492 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 47
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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