Well, last night we actually made love. I pushed her from my mind, just calmly looked at her (in my mind obviously) and said "Enough. He's my husband. He loves me. He doesn't want you, he never really did. You aren't welcome here anymore." and then watched her fade. Then it was everything it should be and it was just the two of us there mentally again. So I have hope. But I am still scared because we are so close to DDay. I'm scared this is a weird fog for us and it will get bad again. And I'm hoping it wasn't a one time deal. But I did it with no wine. hahahaha
But here's to being hopeful!!
I am so happy for you that you were able to stop the mind movie and enjoy making love, especially without wine. YAY for Sammy and MrSammy.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
I edit, therefore I am.
It was much easier for me to embrace the "Screw you OW, he's mine!" mentality with a couple glasses of wine in you
That was my strategy in the beginning. it definitely helped me get through some of the worst times in the beginning. I also took the attitude of "If this is happening, I am getting something out of it." (New attitude for me, as I have never been very selfish or demanding in bed.) Man, I've learned all kinds of wonderful things about asking for what you want. Sorry, TMI?
And I agree with Sister - once I did it the first time, each time after that became easier and easier.
We still had hiccups, depending on what our talks were about that night. The nights I asked for more details, or she tried to stalk him were a little more difficult.
But when things are ok and we are in a good place, our intimacy has been really something special- not HB- its more "real" now. It has really been helping us and now I am with bionicgal- a few flashes of "did they do this?" and then I shake my brain and get back into the program.
I am so very happy for you! Enjoy him and enjoy yourself! This is a wonderful thing to celebrate