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Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

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User Topic: Think I got a little Ptsd or Something
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every time I see a jewelry commercial (Thank you, holiday season) or I see a fictional couple look lovingly in each other eyes, I want to yell at the screen:

"LIES!!! LIES!!!!! ITS ALLLLLL LIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS"

I could barely read the book I was reading because the couple was all in love and crap.

But now they are having some trust issues, so I am back to reading it.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 361 | Registered: Nov 2013
plainpain
♀ Member
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((littlefoggy))


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 572 | Registered: Jul 2013
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah, it sucks.

I remember screaming at the tv "every kiss begins with K? mother fucker... so does kiss my ass" then breaking down and crying because everyone was perfect and shiny and I was a ball of rage and hurt.

The holidays can be rough, especially with all the love and presents and (perceived) perfect people being shoved down your throat through the media.



ka-mai
*******************
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone ...

Posts: 14749 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((littlefoggy)))

BSs DO often suffer from PTSD. I know I had it bad for a while- quite a while. Now, things happen that trigger me, but it's not the same thing I experienced early on.


Posts: 10976 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: North Carolina
whiteflower99
♀ Member
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah I am here as well.
There are many of my favorite authors I can't read atm. Sucks because reading is my preferred escape method.
Basically I am down to male authors, they don't focus so much on the love angle.
Music? Has to be angry woman music.
Movies? Down to Pixar and other cgi kid movies.
Except for Epic.
The song playing during the preview for that was "their song" according to OWx


What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel


Posts: 1675 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Music has been the pretty bad too.

I have been listening to the news in the car. Or nothing.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 361 | Registered: Nov 2013
Grace and Flowers
♀ Member
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Along these lines....I dance ballroom dance at a local studio. A lot of the clients are couples coming in to learn a dance for their wedding, or a bride and her father coming in to learn a father/daughter dance. When I see these people I want to scream at them, "NO! DONT DO IT! RUN AWAY!" etc. I really have to bite my tongue, big time.

I hate to be so cynical.....but knowing someone for 30 years and having them betray you so badly does that, I guess.

So, I get it. I feel the same way. Words and diamonds don't equal fidelity and love.


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1117 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
justjim
♂ Member
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I'm glad that I am not the only one.

The worst for me are the Helzburg commercials... that is where I bought her diamond.

And the anniversary of me giving it to her is coming up on Christmas Eve.

I had also grabbed her one of those "I AM Loved" buttons while at the jeweler. It stayed in her jewelry box for years... she left it on the dresser when she took her jewelry box.

Yeah, those commercials piss me off, too.


Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 265 | Registered: Oct 2013
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm right there with you guys.
I feel like a bitter and jaded old lady.
I guess I am.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
ladycody
♀ Member
Member # 41401
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep...I have found the TV to be source of comfort...something that I can just zone on...and a source of immense sadness and pain due to triggers. Commercials (for me it's those ads for family holiday pictures) and shows where cheating has occurred or being contemplated (never really noticed how often it's in a storyline.) Will now think of you every time I see an ad for jewlery.


Me 47
WS 41
M=16 years

Posts: 123 | Registered: Nov 2013
cancuncrushed
♀ Member
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did find comfort this holiday. I finally realized that Christmas/holidays are so commercial. Yes, we've all heard this before. But it really sunk in for me. Its just companies trying to get you to buy . ANd nothing can fill that void or fantasy. Its a fantasy. ALmost nobody has that christmas. I also realize they do this with newborn babies, and weddings. I am personally trying to keep it real, keep it family. I am bitter, but this has helped me so much. Now I laugh at the effort they are making. ANd hug my kids. Its cruel to use emotions for money. SOme people are in pain. Ham sandwiches, peanut butterballs, and lots of laughs. Thats how we roll. ANd remember what christmas really is. In our house, in our kitchen, with our silly tree. Its another day. It feels so much better. Letting the importance go.


a trigger yesterday

Posts: 860 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
ladycody
♀ Member
Member # 41401
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh boy...just saw a Helzburg commercial...yep...could do without that...


Me 47
WS 41
M=16 years

Posts: 123 | Registered: Nov 2013
dawnmarie
♀ Member
Member # 32964
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PTSD…..how could we not have it?? I am 4 years out from DDay and the triggers never stop. TV, music, talking with people, whatever, they are there. I don’t go all batshit crazy like I used to, but I am reminded at every turn that my H betrayed me to the core.

I recently attended a seminar on how childhood trauma affects the learning of high school students. I am a high school teacher with students who have behavior disorders so it was very interesting, but nothing I have not already learned in my years of teaching. Anyway, I digress. I went there expecting to learn new ways of helping my beloved students, but ended up seeing my trauma. Yes, we have been through a horrible trauma so it’s perfectly normal to have PTSD. What I learned that helped me the most was I needed to confront what was still lingering from the affair. We all have things that we wish we would have done or said. The message I received was that I needed to say the things I put away thinking it wouldn’t change the outcome of where we are and that could not have been more right. Since Dday, I have wanted to tell my H that our anniversary and my rings had absolutely no meaning to me anymore, but I just never said it. I went on for the last 4 years just going through the used-to-be special day with a smile on my face and wearing the rings that no longer had meaning. After leaving the seminar, I thought long and hard about what I heard. We were coming up on the 4 year date of full disclosure and H could tell it was bothering me. He asked what I was thinking and I let it out. I no longer wanted to celebrate an anniversary that was blown apart and I would no longer wear the rings that were a symbol of what he destroyed. He understood and that was the end of it. He asked if I would marry him again and I told him at this point, no I would not. He offered to purchase me a new set of rings and I told him no.
I will say it felt so liberating to say those words and it helped me come to terms with my reality, our reality and I am thinking clearer than I have in years.

We are still together, and for the most part, we are happy. That is no longer enough for me. I have come to the conclusion that the triggers will always be there and that is no way to live. I have not told him yet as I have things to get in order, but after the new year, I will let him know, as I did on our very first date and many times after that I am not someone who can get past an affair and it’s time to move on so we can both live our lives.


"Always go with your gut...the mind will only tell you what you want to hear."
author......me!!
BS:41
WH: 44
DDay: 8/02/09 (just someone from work)
DDay: 10/27/09 Complete confession
WH has done everything right for R (that I know of).

Posts: 130 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: IA
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I watched nothing but the weather channel for about a year. Even the news was full of A-related stuff.

Posts: 10976 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: North Carolina
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think my pregnancy hormones x2 make me even more prone than i normally would be to falling apart at stuff like this.
Hell, I started sobbing whilst watching Hoarders the other day when they found baby rats and took them from their mom


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Submerged
♂ New Member
Member # 18275
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was diagnosed with PTSD and "Mild" Depression. Here I am on D-Day 6 years later and it seems like yesterday. Nothing specific triggered this latest episode, just the actual date itself. And I'm guessing there's just no way to have this date removed from the calendar.


Those who are faithless know the pleasures of love; it is the faithful who know love's tragedies. -- Oscar Wilde

Me: BH (56)
Her: WS (48)
D-Day: 12/9/07
Married: 10 years
2 children: son - 8; daughter - 5


Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2008
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wondered if I was the only one…haven't brought it up to my T yet…

im so tired of suddenly being in tears in public places because of a book title or song on the radio. The people in Barnes and Noble today probably thought I was one card short of a full deck.

Some stranger in church this past sunday came up to me and hugged me as I was standing in the back of the church sobbing during the recessional hymn…

DH wanted to watch The Big Wedding the other day…I made it ten minutes before i said he needed to pick a different movie.


Me: BS 44
Him: WH 47
Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
Heading for Divorce
3 kids: 15,17,19

Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart, wait for The Lord.


Posts: 1027 | Registered: Aug 2013
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I watched nothing but the weather channel for about a year.

I couldn't even do that, as Hurricane Katrina was a huge trigger. I bet Jim Cantore is a nice guy, but if he showed up in my town, I'd have to go punch him in the face before I sought shelter.

yeah, I'm thinking ptsd


ka-mai
*******************
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone ...

Posts: 14749 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my second OW was named Katrin. Everytime I hear about a hurricane, I think of katrina, then I think of Katrin

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Topic Posts: 19

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