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Wayward Side     Print Topic    
User Topic: Double life ending it?
pointofnoreturn
♀ Member
Member # 41034
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I sent a long why it needs to end message (not the real reason)to the current SB with a Christmas gift. Hopefully she will read it feel as encouraged as she can, enjoy the gift, and be able to confidently move on to another SD type of guy or just move on with school. Winter break starts tomorrow her last final was today.

This really isn't how to send a NC letter. At all. By the notion of giving her a Christmas present, you just opened yourself up to her contacting you in the future. A NC letter isn't "goodbye my love" type of deal, it's a recommitment to your relationship.

You may be still extremely foggy, but if you are truly remorseful, the thought of giving your AP a good-bye gift is saying the exact opposite. In fact...I'm a little grossed out thinking about what "gift" this is.


Me- WGF 22
Him- BBF 21
Ddays:
August 2011
September 26th, 2013

"A lesson is learned. Life is. Simply. There is no Death. There is no Before. There is no After. All is in Flux. Simply."


Posts: 187 | Registered: Oct 2013
Alyssamd24
♀ Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Suspended,
If you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to go the sugar daddy route?
Earlier in thjs thread you mentioned you have a selection process and check your lovers out on fb and other places before getting involved. ..I'm curious about that.

You claim you aren't broken but clearly have a process you go through before beginning your A's. In my opinion that makes you just as broken as the WS who weren't looking for an A but still became involved in one.


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 815 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
sunnyrain
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats on 2 days NC. It makes no difference to me how you ended and/or whether or not an "appropriate" NC letter was sent. The important thing, imo, is making the ending stick.

Best of luck.


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 341 | Registered: Nov 2010
suspended
♂ New Member
Member # 41576
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You claim you aren't broken but clearly have a process you go through before beginning your A's. In my opinion that makes you just as broken as the WS who weren't looking for an A but still became involved in one.

I don't deny I am broken I don't see where I said that, but I'll go look. I have everything one could want in a family life, so any non broken person would think I was crazy for doing what I did.

If you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to go the sugar daddy route?
Earlier in thjs thread you mentioned you have a selection process and check your lovers out on fb and other places before getting involved. ..I'm curious about that.

To be worth the risk it had to be something that felt unattainable in real life and preferably no longterm commitment. So, very beautiful women in general!! I was looking for the proverbial cherry on top of a chocolate sundae! Something that made both of our lives better adding to life's fulfillment. Less than a relationship, but more than a 2hr hotel meet. The type of arrangments I had were somewhere in the middle of that. We communicated as much as two people do in a relationship without the relationship drama.

This really isn't how to send a NC letter. At all. By the notion of giving her a Christmas present, you just opened yourself up to her contacting you in the future. A NC letter isn't "goodbye my love" type of deal, it's a recommitment to your relationship.

You may be still extremely foggy, but if you are truly remorseful, the thought of giving your AP a good-bye gift is saying the exact opposite. In fact...I'm a little grossed out thinking about what "gift" this is.

Fog usual pertains to deep emotion, pedastal placing, or something like that doesn't it?

This was ending due to necessity, because this lifestyle had run it's course, guilt was increasing, sort of like letting someone go at work. It's not that you want to, but you need to, it's the right choice for the company, so you give a severance package. The right thing was to end this lifestyle and move on focusing on other things family, hobbies, forgiveness, and people.

It was just a bag/$$ and some advice as she goes into her last year of grad school.


Congrats on 2 days NC. It makes no difference to me how you ended and/or whether or not an "appropriate" NC letter was sent. The important thing, imo, is making the ending stick.

3 days, so thanks and happy Friday it's the weekend always fun!!

[This message edited by suspended at 2:45 PM, December 13th (Friday)]


Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2013
finallyfree2011
♀ Member
Member # 37998
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


[This message edited by finallyfree2011 at 5:26 PM, December 16th (Monday)]


Me - WS
H - BH

D day - July 2011 after a 4 year relationship with OM

Reconciled and renewed our vows on our 22 Anniversary in June 2012


Posts: 62 | Registered: Jan 2013
Alyssamd24
♀ Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Broken, No, I'm not.

Page 3, in response to Aubrie

[This message edited by Alyssamd24 at 3:41 PM, December 13th (Friday)]


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 815 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
leftoolate
♀ Member
Member # 22658
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fog usual pertains to deep emotion, pedastal placing, or something like that doesn't it?
'Fog' isn't precisely defined, as far as I know. I personally think it pertains to perspective an clarity. And yes, that can include deep emotions for others and putting another on a pedestal. But as far as I'm concerned, it pertains especially to my distorted view of myself, and the people close to me.

You need to work this out your own way. Please keep in mind that what you do affects others. Other people, important to you. Furthermore, it affects yourself, as well. Your actions help shape the world in a way that has very little to do with material luxuries.

You made most of your own fog. You should be the one to clear your view, in fact you're the only one that can do that for you. But you can get help and support.

Good luck.

~L.


If you came this far, you're looking for something. - Jrazz

Posts: 817 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Europe
suspended
♂ New Member
Member # 41576
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AlyssaMD24 is correct
Broken, No, I'm not.


Aubrie's quote

My last piece of advice? Drop the bullshit. Your soul is broken. That's the bottom line.

I stand corrected sorry about that.


Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2013
suspended
♂ New Member
Member # 41576
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck to all!! Since I'm banned from posting in anythread, but this one!!

There isn't much to say except it's been 4 days no contact.


Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2013
JustDesserts
♂ Member
Member # 39665
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Suspended:

Thank you for reminding me what epic levels of self-delusion look like. I'm in recovery from SDGD (Self-Delusioning Grandiosity Disease), and it's good to get a vivid reminder here and there of what I used to look like...a self-portrait painted with my own words.

Your self-portrait, Broseph, is u...g...l...y. How do I know? I have a garage wall full of them.

Gotta hand it to you...bragging about paying for the company of beautiful, young women takes chutzpa. And you've got that in spades, with spares.

You need a whole boatload of help, IMHO. I won't hold my breath. The prognosis and recovery rate for us epically grandiose douche bags is lower than low.

And one thing you're forgetting. You've already been caught, Sir Smartypants. By your own conscience. And living with that corrodes and makes you ugly. You'll need to break out more $$$ in the future as your become an uglier and uglier Sugar Daddy.

The alternative? Take the cotton out of your ears, stick it in your mouth, and become humble. We're all here to help. And I'm here to help. Heck, I'll send my GV to your doorstep if you actually decide you want to change.

Good heavens...what a thread! Where's that Orson Wells clapping meme...

JD

[This message edited by JustDesserts at 12:15 PM, December 14th (Saturday)]


2 year EA/PA. DDay 3/12. Broke NC 6/13 w/one stupid 5 line e-mail (which brought me to SI). Me: WH, 50. Her: BW, 49. Married 19 years. Two kids. Dog. Reconciling...together.

Posts: 403 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Suburbia, New England, USA
suspended
♂ New Member
Member # 41576
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@JustDesserts, I appreciate the feedback in describing the picture you see.

I'll just eat my unsalted crow and say Thanks and have a good day.


Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2013
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Locking this up. Suspended won't be back.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37382 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 72
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