2012 was the year that I followed through on that: I tried to kill myself, and spent a week (including my 42nd birthday), in the psych ward. Ten months later, was when I found out The Princess was a lying, cheating whore. I spent the next three months after that trying to be a one-person reconciling team. We all know how those work out.
2013 was the year when I decided I would put up with no more. I moved out, and spent the next three months in tears. I ended up having to go to the food bank once.
That's quite enough of that horseshit.
Five days into 2014, I have a solo gig - just me and my instruments on stage for an hour. That's a good fucking start to my comeback year. Here's what else I want to make happen in my comeback year:
- I want a job. Self-employment is cool when you're married to someone with a steady income, but too nerve-wracking for this solo life. I am going to upgrade my programming skills and get a job.
- I will learn to relax. Once I have the relative security of being an employee, I will learn to keep my off-hours as time that I don't think about work constantly.
- I will get MORE gigs. My musical skills are improving, and I am getting to be known on the local folk scene. Now that I have the better mousetrap, I just need to let people know about it, so they will beat a path to my door.
- I will continue writing. My blovel is going strong, and slowly building a following. I need to keep the momentum by continuing to produce quality content. This is fun shit, so I just need to keep doing a little research at a time; once I've done the research, the writing is practically effortless.
- I will pay off all my debts, and not buy more things on credit. This will free me up to start contributing to a pension fund in 2015.
- I will have money to take my kids on a nice three-day shopping trip in the summer. All the army surplus and music stores we can find in the city of our choice (I have the coolest kids ever).
- I will continue to detach from the Princess (and should be divorced about halfway through the year). While pushing for a new relationship isn't a priority, I will start keeping my eyes open for real live dating opportunities (NOT online!). If I meet someone who looks like she might be nice, I will ask her out, and proceed cautiously.
That will make 2014 a fantastic year. Gotta make this happen so that you're not listening to me complain about the same shit next year at this time!
Anyone else up for a comeback year?
[This message edited by pass at 7:13 PM, December 8th (Sunday)]
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous
I remember seeing your first posts in D/S...you've already made so much progress! Congrats to you on getting through 2013...2014 is looking like a breakout year for you!
I am so ready to see what 2014 has in store for me. I plan to continue to rebuild my credit on my journey towards buying a home. I plan to continue at my job that I love and prepare myself for advancement over the next year. I plan to continue having fun I feel like I am allowed to enjoy my life now. I gave myself permission to be happy
2014 Sounds like it'll be a kick-ass year for you. It's gonna be so much better for me too. It's the year I hope to be divorced, and the year I go back to school to sharpen my skills for work.
Best of luck to you!
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
You kind of forget the heavy battles won in the midst of the battles currently fought.
Absolutely celebrate and reach for the future - never forget to rejoice where you are right now. Pat yourself in the back, friend. We've waded through shark infested waters, sometimes held down by a ball and chain, sometimes even bleeding heavily.
You're still swimming - towards the shore. Always towards the shore. I am too.
I've bookmarked a thread I posted this last NYE about how far I had come from the NYE before - I've reread it several times throughout the year and it never fails to lift my spirits.
That's a great idea, SBB. Last year at this time, it was just three weeks since DDay: The Princess was blame-shifting, gaslighting, and probably cake-eating. In other words, she was using "the best defence is a strong offence" as her policy, and it was working okay for her.
The worst part is that I hadn't discovered SI yet (I was still about a month away from discovering it), so I didn't even know any of these terms; I had no idea how to take care of myself. As a result, I was drinking a lot, blaming myself, and just generally feeling bad.
A combination of SI, therapy, anti-depressants, music, my kids, and new friends have helped me to get to the point that I'm able to even consider a comeback year in my future. It's still a bit of a climb, but I'm SO much closer to getting out of that hole The Princess put me in.
This year has sucked with the first DDay in 5 years, DS getting injured and the subsequent CPS nightmare, and filing for divorce and telling my family and friends it was over twice. At least right now there is no wool pulled over my eyes. Knowing is half the battle as they say!
I have a LOT of hope invested in 2014. I'm going to:
-find out if I'm staying here or moving to SoCal and making the best out of either situation. I have a great job and house up here but all my family is in SoCal
- become partner at my job if I don't move
- get back on a regular exercise schedule (stopped after DS was hospitalized and started spending all free time with him
-develop my friendships. I've met some potentially really good friends up here but don't hang out with them enough cause I'm too introverted and I've been spending all my free time on the Snake and DS.
- dip my toe into the dating pool. I've only ever been with the Snake sexually and only had eyes for him but now I notice sexy men everywhere and I'm excited about dating one that isn't a POS
only had eyes for him but now I notice sexy men everywhere and I'm excited about dating one that isn't a POS
I'm in the same boat, CareerLady. A friend told me the other day, "You'll find there have been remarkable advances in breasts in the past 20 years. You've been missing out!"
Formally shutting down the business I ran for 16 years and going full bore on my new one.
I want to spend more time riding my horse.
I really want to move out of this "Lethal Plan of Flatness" I've been in for the past 2.5 years.
Divorce final 2/10/14.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.