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User Topic: Condom Question-A little Tmi Warning
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Shocked  Posted: 2:31 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the string of my WH's cheating he's always maintained that he only called/texted the escorts and never actually met up with one. Based on phone records it seems nearly impossible that an escort would call/text that much without having him as a customer, it's alarming. Anyway, one weekend during this period I was out of town, this is about 2 months after we were married. He picked me up at the airport and on our way home I jokingly asked him how many times he had to jerk off from missing me. He said none he was waiting for me. So we have sex and (sorry TMI warning) I didn't want him to finish in me so he finished on a towel. I knew he hadn't just gone 4 days without doing anything because there wasn't a lot. I asked again being like "oh haha, you definitely j-off" he said no again. (Again we were always open about this as I'd send him dirty pics quite often for him to use). He goes to take a shower and I'm picking up some things and I find a used condom on the floor. In the pit of my stomach I knew. We weren't using condoms but we did keep them around for times I would forget to take my pill. I bang on the bathroom door and scream why did I find a used condom on the floor. Muffled response "What?". I repeat. He then opens door to see it and he says "Oh, yea I jerked off in it". So I'm like "You just said you didn't the whole time I was gone." His story has never changed from that. I feel like people reading this now want to reach through their monitor and smack me into seeing the light. Why do I want to hold onto that that is the truth? Is there any guy here who has used a condom for that?! I've never heard of that before!!


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very hard to believe! I've heard of that before but I am very doubtful that is the case especially if he LIED about jacking off in the first place.

(((jkc1502)))


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ummmm......kleenex, yes......underwear, yes......towel, yes.......

Using a condom for masturbation?? Give me a break

I'm so sorry, he's lying.

((((jzkc))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2585 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How old is he? Sounds like something a 13 year old kid would do.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 600 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
burntandtorn
♂ New Member
Member # 41502
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to admit, I've used a condom a couple times just for a different sensation. I just wanted to put this out there so you'd know that at least it is a possibility.


Married 12 years, together 14
BH 34
WW 35 (multiple ONS)
2 children, 8 and 10.
In MC. Trying to reconcile.

Posts: 49 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: missouri
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How old is he? Sounds like something a 13 year old kid would do.

He was 25 at the time. I agree as I was thinking it out, maybe I could see a young teen using it, but a grown-ass married adult guy? And like cl131716 pointed out, he lied twice that he didn't j-off so it makes it even more fishy to me.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to admit, I've used a condom a couple times just for a different sensation. I just wanted to put this out there so you'd know that at least it is a possibility.

Good to know. I wish though he didn't lie making me doubt his story.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know of a guy who uses condoms in this way. I still am not sure why he shared this information with me, but there you go. I'm sure it would be less messy. I also don't know if I believe your husband's story.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6724 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Huh. I guess I struggle with the answer so bad because during the time this happened he was calling/texting escorts 200+ times. A particular "favorite" was called and texted that exact weekend I was gone. So now I'm really supposed to buy his jerk off story coupled with the fact he lied about j-off??! Gah I wish this wasn't happening!!!


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to admit, I've used a condom a couple times

(Raises hand)

Possible, maybe even plausible. Alone it would not be a cause for concern, but in light of other events, it definitely seems suspicious.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2554 | Registered: May 2010
markyall
♂ New Member
Member # 37808
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I call bs
hate to do it but.... smack


Me:BH 42
Her:WS 36
two kids-still in school
Dday 052512

Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2012
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Plausible? Sure.

But considering he was calling escorts at the time..and the amount of calls/texts while you were out of town AND the fact that he said he didn't jack it while you were gone(and,as you said, the two of you were very honest about masturbation at the time)...yeah..the condom was used for sex. You want to believe otherwise,of course. But common sense says he used it for sex.

What did you do with the condom? Does he think you threw it away? If it were me, I'd get sneaky. I'd tell him I had taken it out of the trash and sent it out to a lab to get tested. That,obviously they will find his DNA on it..but shouldn't find a woman's DNA, since he claims he used it to masturbate...then I'd tell him I'd gotten a call from the lab..the results are in..and that I am giving him one last chance to be honest because if the lab confirms a woman's DNA on that condom, then he can GTFO.

But,then, that's just me. I've had to resort to lying to get the truth from WH in the past...and in this case,where my health and my marriage where at risk..I'd lie again.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7399 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What did you do with the condom? Does he think you threw it away? If it were me, I'd get sneaky. I'd tell him I had taken it out of the trash and sent it out to a lab to get tested. That,obviously they will find his DNA on it..but shouldn't find a woman's DNA, since he claims he used it to masturbate...then I'd tell him I'd gotten a call from the lab..the results are in..and that I am giving him one last chance to be honest because if the lab confirms a woman's DNA on that condom, then he can GTFO.

Ahhh why weren't you in my life earlier?! This is from back around DDay and I threw the condom out. WHYYYYY!!!!! At least I could have had a little sanity maybe if I could have proven 100% there was no female DNA on there. UGH.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..your story and his lies both point to him bull-shitting you.

..he will, of course, deny, deny, deny..

..trust your gut.. he's been screwing around while you were gone..

..sorry you have a lying, cheating H.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4123 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, I didn't check your dday. Yours was 3 years ago,same as mine. So a little late for that story. Hmm.

What about asking him..or telling him..to take a polygraph? Tell him you can not move forward without the truth.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7399 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
HurtButHopeful?
♀ Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you really need to know, I second confused615's idea

What about asking him..or telling him..to take a polygraph? Tell him you can not move forward without the truth.


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, December 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, so my WH used the services of an escort last month... He had started talking to her in may, he made an appointment and cancelled it. I dunno, after a certain point she had an attitude of now or never... It took him a few months to go through with it... But he did it...


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the replies all. I guess using a condom for that IS possible. I just still don't think I believe it given the ongoing circumstances at the time:
1. Calling/texting escorts
2. I was out of state for 3 days
3. He was calling/texting escorts during those 3 days.
4. He said he did not j-off in those 3 days

And now he has the nerve to actually get mad at me when I say I think he actually used it to have sex with someone.

[This message edited by jzkc1502 at 8:33 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)]


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
LeopoldB
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds suspicious, however...

I have used condoms for jerking off many times over the years when I find them in my luggage or toilet kit. Once they go past the expiration date, I figure I should take them out of action and why just throw them away. It's a judgement call as to how far past the expiration date I am willing to trust them. It's longer than a carton of milk or eggs... but not much.

On the other hand, leaving a spent condom on the floor does not ring true. Who does that? That is post sex behavior, not post masturbation.


Posts: 203 | Registered: Sep 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the other hand, leaving a spent condom on the floor does not ring true. Who does that? That is post sex behavior, not post masturbation.

Yeah, this. It kind of defeats the purpose of tidiness anyway.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7444 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 55
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