Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: sadmama33 (45336)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Condom Question-A little Tmi Warning
stillprettyupset
♂ Member
Member # 41286
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To help put your mind at ease (??). Did he continue texting that day? Or were they together and the texts would have stopped. Look for the trend if you have the records. Hateful and ugly I know, but it is a good indication.


Me: 42
WW: 36
Latest D-day: Sept 2013
Reconciling? Limbo?

Posts: 96 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NE Ohio
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the other hand, leaving a spent condom on the floor does not ring true. Who does that? That is post sex behavior, not post masturbation.

Yeah, this. It kind of defeats the purpose of tidiness anyway.

Right I forgot I had kind of thought that before. Its like, ok so you use it to masturbate then rip it off and toss it on the floor? Could he have been that dumb to rip it off post-sex and not think to cover his tracks?

To help put your mind at ease (??). Did he continue texting that day? Or were they together and the texts would have stopped. Look for the trend if you have the records. Hateful and ugly I know, but it is a good indication.

The sucky part is this was 2010 my DDay, so while I have one specific phone number record that I had saved in an old email thats all I have. But it doesn't have time stamps...so this is the activity I have to one particular escort this weekend. I was gone for 3 days so I wouldn't really know what day it could have happened.


Friday- June 4- called twice
Saturday- June 5- phone call
Saturday- June 5- one text
Sunday- June 6 - phone call

Again being that during the whole 6-7 month period there were 281 calls and 200+ texts this is just a teeny tiny snipet.

[This message edited by jzkc1502 at 12:16 PM, December 10th (Tuesday)]


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
LeopoldB
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alas... like reading tea leaves, interpreting used
condoms is still more of an art than science.


Posts: 212 | Registered: Sep 2013
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would guess that he arranged an outcall escort and forgot to dispose of the used condom. Given his regular contact with escorts I would be amazed if he wasn't using their services while you were out of town. These girls don't waste their time talking to clients. keep it short; no inappropriate language and do you want to see me or not? Also so they abhor texting; it simply wastes their time. they are running a business not engaging in wasteful conversation.

Your WH is having sex with prostitutes and you should get yourself tested for STD's and think seriously about further sexual relations with him.


Posts: 1748 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Could he have been that dumb to rip it off post-sex and not think to cover his tracks?

Yup. Although it's incredibly stupid, yup.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would guess that he arranged an outcall escort and forgot to dispose of the used condom. Given his regular contact with escorts I would be amazed if he wasn't using their services while you were out of town. These girls don't waste their time talking to clients. keep it short; no inappropriate language and do you want to see me or not? Also so they abhor texting; it simply wastes their time. they are running a business not engaging in wasteful conversation.

I agree. This is the only log I have saved this is one particular escort...

April 23-3 calls
April 23-Text
April 25- ľone call 2 minutes
April 26- 6 calls (one was for 3 min)
May 3 -Text
May 3ľone call (4 minutes)
May 7 ľone call
May 9 (4 texts)
May 10 (7 texts)
May 10 ľone call (4 minutes)
May 11 ľone call (2 minutes)
May 13 ľone call
May 13 (5 texts)
May 14 ľone call
May 25- 6 texts
June 4- two calls
June 5ľone call
June 5 -Text
June 6 ľone call
June 9 ľone call
June 10-Text
June 10- 3 calls, one was 2minutes
June 14 ľone call
June 17-Text
June 27 ľone call
August 3- one call 2 minutes
Aug 3- (1 being a multimedia message) 8 texts
Aug 10- 27 texts
Aug 11-two calls


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In marriage sex the used condom often ends up forgotten on the floor, to be disposed of the next day. Too lazy to get out of a warm comfortable bed and flush the item I suppose. I reckon thats what your WH did; just plain forgot he had dropped it off the bed.

Leaves you with a problem; I read somewhere how difficult it is for men who are addicted to escorts to give up that 'hobby'. Do you live with his adultery; threaten you will leave, [he'll just do a better job of covering his tracks]; or separate. If you don't separate watch out for STD's. He's putting your health at risk.


Posts: 1748 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did that once when I was a virginal teenager. It sort of defeated he purpose. He's a liar.

Posts: 1733 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
LeopoldB
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was the condom full? If so, that narrows down the possibilities. "Full" supports his story; empty, not so much.


Posts: 212 | Registered: Sep 2013
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The condom was full. I mean I can't recall how full if that's what you're asking but yes he definitely finished in it


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
LeopoldB
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok. A full condom is a good sign in this case.

Based upon my own experience as well as many other men out there... if the condom was empty then he might have been with an escort, withdrawn at the last moment, whipped the condom off and twirled it over his head while pretending to ride a bronco and shouting "Yee ha!", before giving her a pearl necklace.

With all those moving parts, a lost condom under the bed would be understandable in those circumstances, and yet sadly inappropriate just the same. So a full condom means you can cross that particular scenario off the list. His story still holds water and bit by bit I'm starting to believe the young man.

Let's see if other folks here are ready to give him the benefit of the doubt.



Posts: 212 | Registered: Sep 2013
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some folks have vivid imaginations.

Circumstantial evidence strongly indicates he had sex with a prostitute. Few men have running dialogues with escorts then don't avail them of their services. He even left the evidence behind, what more do you require? He is not going to admit to cheating; you would have to catch him in the act to obtain a confession.

Stop grasping at straws; he's a liar and adulterer. Its important for your healths sake to arrive at a judgement and this needs to be based on circumstantial evidence, which points strongly to his guilt. I would separate from my WH even if he was only guilty of contacting escorts. That alone is unacceptable behavior.


Posts: 1748 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Based upon my own experience as well as many other men out there... if the condom was empty then he might have been with an escort, withdrawn at the last moment, whipped the condom off and twirled it over his head while pretending to ride a bronco and shouting "Yee ha!", before giving her a pearl necklace.

Speaking as someone who utters some truly ridiculous shit on a regular and daily basis, that is some truly ridiculous speculation.

There's nothing to suggest he's telling the truth when his consistent behavior and commentary at the time contradicts that.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7477 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some folks have vivid imaginations.

Circumstantial evidence strongly indicates he had sex with a prostitute. Few men have running dialogues with escorts then don't avail them of their services. He even left the evidence behind, what more do you require? He is not going to admit to cheating; you would have to catch him in the act to obtain a confession.

Stop grasping at straws; he's a liar and adulterer. Its important for your healths sake to arrive at a judgement and this needs to be based on circumstantial evidence, which points strongly to his guilt. I would separate from my WH even if he was only guilty of contacting escorts. That alone is unacceptable behavior.

Yes, you're right. I know what I'm doing is grasping at straws and trying to hold onto a hope that isn't there.

I guess that yes a faithful man could potentially use a condom to masturbate into and it shouldn't raise any red flags, but when I lay out all the details the fact that I could still even believe that is absurd.

Based upon my own experience as well as many other men out there... if the condom was empty then he might have been with an escort, withdrawn at the last moment, whipped the condom off and twirled it over his head while pretending to ride a bronco and shouting "Yee ha!", before giving her a pearl necklace.

Uhhhh, hmmm. I don't know this doesn't really make any sense to me.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
happenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 6042
Concerned  Posted: 8:09 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whether other men use condoms in that manner seems irrelevant to me. Have you ever known YOUR WH to masturbate with condoms? It doesn't sound like it. I am really sorry he is making you suffer so much with his lies. (Edited to correct my spelling error)

[This message edited by happenedtome at 1:07 PM, December 11th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 234 | Registered: Dec 2004
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whether other men use condoms in that manner seems irrelevant to me. Have you ever known YOUR WH to masterbate with condoms? It doesn't sound like it. I am really sorry he is making you suffer so much with his lies.

Gahhhhh you're exactly right! In the 9 years I've been w/ him I've never once known him to use a condom for this. Almost always sock if needed.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My fiance uses them to masturbate into. So, yes, some men do that.

But in your case, knowing how much contact he's had with hookers..I'm 99% sure he had sex with a hooker and forgot about the rubber.

I'm sorry.


Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sit for a moment and listen to your gut. You might just get the answer there.

One of my therapists told me that it is critical to listen to our guts. We will know the truth if we do. Another told me that the things spouses of addicts "know in their gut" are more accurate than polygraph results. (Of course, this is a subjective statement.) I know in my case, I was ignoring my instincts, and I should have listened.


Posts: 1271 | Registered: Aug 2010
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I need to stop silencing my gut. Imagining my WH in the act w/ a hooker is just so painful to picture.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No matter what the condom manufacturers say, it just doesn't feel as good when you use one - kills some of the sensation. I beat off into a condom once as a teenager, then thought, "That sucked" and never did it again.

I'm truly shocked to see so many guys saying they've done it. I would've automatically assumed this were a lie.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2086 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 55
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.