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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Not a good morning.....normal part of healing???
struggling3
♀ Member
Member # 34671
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm reeling a little bit today and could really use some advice. We are 28 months past Dday. Things are good between us and my H has been everything I have wanted and asked for.

I did not sleep well last night...dog had me up...then couldn't sleep. That is never good for me and of course I had some upsetting thoughts while trying for over 2 hours to get back to sleep. Luckily I got to sleep in (snow day at my work) so it could have been worse.

Around 10 a.m. I sent my H a text with a picture of myself ; I would normally hear right back after he gets one of those pictures...lol. Nothing...tried his desk phone...nothing....tried his work phone...nothing. I left the house and did some running around. I heard back from him after about 2 hours. By this time I was a freaking mess. This alone is so upsetting to me after such a long time. Does that ever go away??? When I did talk to him, he continued to try to soothe me and asking if I was OK. He said he was across the street at another office and ended up talking to a male friend at his desk.

In my heart I know that he is no longer talking to her at all. I am probably just as upset at myself for the major reaction as him for forgetting to have a phone with him.

I don't even know what I am asking....just needed to vent a little and see if others have had similar situations even this far out. What do you work on to make it better. I have not had any IC through this ordeal. Does it sound like I should. The good times have been fantastic...so close to each other right now. But wham...this sucks!!


Me - BS 55
H - WS 57/very remorseful and supportive
Kids 28, 25, 22
D-Day 8-5-11
discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
lhhell
♀ Member
Member # 40332
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((struggling3)))

I completely understand where you are coming from. We aren't as far out from Dday as you - coming on 12 months. The other day, we had a good MC session and then he went back to work and I ran some errands. As I was driving down the road, I saw a car like his and a small part of a license plate that looked like his, pulling into the underground parking of an apartment building. And I freaked out!

Like really freaked out. Like I was probably a danger to everyone else on the road at that moment. I found a place to pull over and tried calling him - got his voicemail. Now I'm hyperventilating. Send him a "where are you right now" email. Got a reply that said that he was on the phone. My response: "send me a picture out the window of your office with something with the date on it". And he did. And he was at work. And I was a disaster for several minutes before I could pull myself together and continue on my way.

I don't think we need to be upset with ourselves over this. It's a consequence of what has happened.

I hope you are able to move forward from this and have some good moments to lighten your day.


Me: BS
Him: WH
Dday: Jan 4, 2013

Posts: 52 | Registered: Aug 2013
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been there - exactly. I would have a bad night, or morning, or whatever. To soothe myself I would send something to fWH - picture, sweet text, something to elicit a positive response (I guess I learned something from his A) and then silence. And more silence. Followed by more silence. Then panic. What's he doing? No response at all? Why hasn't he looked at his phone?

I honestly forget what he was doing, but it made perfect sense. But it didn't matter, I was a basket case by then, and he had to 'talk me off the ledge' so to speak, for about 15 minutes. Not fun.

It happens. I was about where you are, give or take. I'm coming up on DDay antiversary #3. Yes, it can still happen.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
struggling3
♀ Member
Member # 34671
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ihhell and painfulpast...thanks so much for taking the time to respond. Even though I am feeling better many hours later, it really does me good to read responses from people that make me feel like I'm not as far off track as I think sometimes. My husband called me several times in the afternoon to "just check up on my baby" we were also emailing quite a bit for the rest of the day...talking a little bit about how I was feeling. He told me he was so sorry he left his desk without his phone and he will never do it again. Some of this shit makes me feel like a warden and I hate that part but I also know that I have to continue to verify for my peace of mind. Thanks again to you both.


Me - BS 55
H - WS 57/very remorseful and supportive
Kids 28, 25, 22
D-Day 8-5-11
discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Topic Posts: 4

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