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Newest Member: emptylostsoul (44611)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Fork in the road....need lots of support.
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

liberty

I have been through the alcoholism with my X. My conditions were 1) 90 days sober 2) NC w/the OW and 3)MC He left MC and went on a date with the OW to a movie theater that served beer and got his second DUI.

In this situation, alcohol is an issue but its not actually THE issue. He has no problem going for extended time periods w/o drinking. weeks and months aren't an issue. Its the binging when he does. I'm not sure AA is the hill I want to die on for this relationship. Getting help for the PTSD which plagues him every day of his life is the hill I'm going to stand and fight on.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8435 | Registered: Apr 2008
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Getting help for the PTSD which plagues him every day of his life is the hill I'm going to stand and fight on.

You're awesome, hexed!!


Posts: 11582 | Registered: Mar 2008
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aawww...(((hexed))) I'm so sorry you are having these issues. I know he has had trouble in the past with this, maybe this is the impetus he needs to finally start getting some real help.

I don't have much good advice these days but I do want to send positive thoughts and prayers for you guys.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15187 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Hexed)). How did I miss this thread?

You and tg are in my thoughts.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7513 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope your doing ok .....

(((hexed)))


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18731 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
exhausted lady
♀ Member
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 1:22 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hexed)))

I know you love him. But please, don't let his PTSD be the hill that takes YOU down. He's got it, he knows it, and he needs to deal with it.

Or else.

Shit, I've got PTSD. I've struggled with it for years, and yes, it's a bitch. BUT, he needs to own his shit on that subject. There is not reason for him to dump that load on you, and make you suffer too.

I admire you for trying to stick it out with this, but don't let it turn into an endless dance....and it can. Stick to your guns and your boundaries. You are worth it.


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No this can't be an endless dance. I'm working on it. Its tough but I will stick to my guns on this one.

TG recognizes that he has it. Its been a slow process for him but he has always owned it and slowly improved in dealing with it over the time we've been together.

Lately he's just gone backwards in a big way and for too long.

The good news is that he's not hiding from it or me in the wake of this.

The bad news is that I just have to watch what happens.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8435 | Registered: Apr 2008
foxglove
♀ Member
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hexed)))

I just wanted to add my support. It sounds you know yourself and know your boundaries-that's very healthy, even if it doesn't feel good right now.

Please take care of yourself.


Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1452 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
Topic Posts: 48
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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