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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: damn damn damn
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so I'm wrapping Christmas gifts and in the bottom of my wrapping container I come across a drawing from a Christmas of several years ago when we were visiting my sister.
The drawing had a doodle from one of my kids saying "mom" "dad" and their names - then BAM I'm flooded with memories of that particular Christmas when I was married and our kids had two parents at home. I can even smell the cinnamon that filled her kitchen - the memory was so strong!
Before I can stop myself I burst into tears.

My M ended over two years ago.... I thought I was settled and resigned to my new, single-mom life.... When do these triggers end?!


Posts: 407 | Registered: Jun 2012
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

Time and new memories will help these feelings to wane.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them-Vicky Baum


Posts: 49750 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
ISPIFFD
♀ Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((PhoenixRisen))))))

I hate to say it, but it takes time...


Me: BW (54)
Him: WH (61)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1724 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix))))


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22588 | Registered: Aug 2011
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been divorced 3 years as of tomorrow...and still get triggers....but they lessen over time! Promise.

((BIGHUGZ))


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2422 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Time and new memories will help these feelings to wane.

this^^^
(((hugs)))


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB

Posts: 1784 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((PhoenixRising)))

Holidays are the worst times for missing what "was" but really "wasn't"


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 2825 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
broken2
♀ Member
Member # 16935
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Time will help, really it will. I rarely trigger any more and if I do my next thought is how lucky I truly am to be away and gone from him.

Posts: 2019 | Registered: Nov 2007
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((PhoenixRisen))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2503 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my third Christmas post Dday - it's the best one yet but memories still hit. ((Hugs))


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4160 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just keep telling yourself three to five years to work through the trauma. I had not come to SI in a while and didn't need to be here. One stupid text, which I ignored, bought me back again. I keep telling myself, three to five and the finish line gets closer every day.

Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
Eranda
♀ Member
Member # 6010
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They end- believe me. I'm one of the old-timers around here and I can tell you it gets better. A LOT better.

Now when I think of things that happened back then, I don't much care anymore. I like my life now better than I did when I was married. Memories are just that- memories. Without any emotional crap to go along with it LOL.

I think of that time as just something that happened, and now it's over. Nothing more, nothing less.

You will get there.


My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

Posts: 4207 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix)))




Posts: 30622 | Registered: Mar 2011
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix))))


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14905 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 14

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