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User Topic: Awful day... Just awful- better at the end?
TheAmazingWondertwin
♀ Member
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AAAARGH.

It's like he can't do anything right.
At all.
Anything he says pisses me off.
I'm trying- I am. I think I am being hyper vigilant. I am so used to smoothing things over for him and letting him paint a pretty picture over things (15 years of it) that now I over analyze everything he says
I get that he's trying.
But here's the thing-
I'm angry now. Never have been with him.
I am not really confrontational unless its in a professional setting (child advocate)-
With my personal relationships I have always given everyone the benefit of the doubt. I always try to find a way where it is not their fault- if someone is angry, I automatically assume they have a right to be and I look to fix it and figure out how to never have that happen again.
It's not a great trait- its gone now. One of the casualties of the A. Thinking that losing it is a good thing once I get a handle on it.
My WH comes from a home where admitting someone else is right is death. Very volatile and angry household.
We went out if our way to keep that away from our kids.

But he is a fighter. Never with me and I can't really recall a time when I got really angry at him. And only a handful of times when I really went off on anyone else- and was completely humiliated by my actions afterwards.
I am a flat out bitch now. He can't say anything without me coming back at him.
It makes him defensive.
He fights back.
That REALLY sets me off. Defensive?!?!? Seriously?!?!

You have no rights here!
But at the same time- I tell him " talk to me. Tell me why. Share your struggle"
And then I slay him.
All day at work. Texts and phone calls that turn into blood baths.
He started gas lighting and blame shifting again. Hasn't done that in a while. So telling though. He still feels somewhat justified in his A. He won't admit it- but when you give your "why" in a defensive and challenging tone, that's not remorse- that's justifying.
I went ballistic.
We have since calmed down. The texts are more solution focused and introspective. This is helping.

Is this how it's supposed to be? I am pushing him. I know it. He doesn't know this new person. I don't either.

Today he told me he was fearful I was just doing this until I get closure. He would stay and help me heal but he needed to know if I was going to stick around in the end. He actually got all "demandy" about it.
Yah- no. I told him I would tell him no such thing. He needed to decide if I loved him. He needed to decide If it was worth it. I make no promises.

We are better now. Not okay, but calm and talking again. I don't hate him right now. That's good, right?

Is this him getting desperate? He did say he was scared.
I'm sure he is. I have stopped trying to smooth things over- stopped trying to make sure he is okay.
He noticed. Initial reaction? Defensive- blame shifty- sarcasm- snarky comments.
He apologized and we have talked much more calmly now.
Is that just his knee jerk reaction to conflict?
Why am I sort of satisfied that I got to him?

I've said it before and ill say it again.
This sucks. I am having a really hard time with this part of it.

[This message edited by TheAmazingWondertwin at 5:04 PM, December 12th (Thursday)]


Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
lhhell
♀ Member
Member # 40332
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((wondertwin))

Sorry you are having an awful day. I had one yesterday and the day before so I completely understand where you are at.

No sage words here, just understanding


Me: BS
Him: WH
Dday: Jan 4, 2013

Posts: 52 | Registered: Aug 2013
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi TAWT,

Yes, normal, as normal as there is at least. In fact some of us found that our anger (rage for me) really hit a few months out from dday when we began to feel safer and got past the numbness.

There is another dynamic that comes into play in addition to the anger, resentment, embarrassment, defensiveness, shame, fear, and other strong emotions both you and your WS are experiencing, and that is change. Your perception of who your WH is has changed. Your WH is now trying to change an learn new behaviors. Your interactions with your WS and his with you are changing.

Even change for good creates stress. Look at the Holmes and Rahe stress scale and take a guess at where you might score right now. It is enough, literally, to make some people sick.

What you experienced today, and then processing it to post on SI is good stuff. It is working through. It takes time, lots of time to do the necessary work.

Keep up the good work.

Many people like texting to hash through crap because it gives them time to process and plan their reply. I am in the camp that thinks face to face is better for crucial conversations. It is easier to gauge true feeling, and easier to know when it is time to deescalate. Also, removing text from the argument/fight equation means that both parties get some down time.

He needed to decide If it was worth it. I make no promises.

I look back and know I pushed and said hurtful things to FWW sometimes as a test to see if she was really in for the long haul, or just saying things to calm me down. I lost trust and that included what she said, so I tested her by saying some hurtful things.

Initial reaction? Defensive- blame shifty- sarcasm- snarky comments.
He apologized and we have talked much more calmly now.

Watch this cycle. As the time from anger to apology and reconnecting gets shorter you will know you are making progress. There was a time this gap from anger to reconnect could take a week or more for FWW and I. Then it got down to days, and now it is usually no more than a few hours at the most.

--Ats

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 6:12 PM, December 12th (Thursday)]


FBS 54
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4133 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
TheAmazingWondertwin
♀ Member
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you both.
This is awful.
Yes- I am pushing hard.
We just tried to talk again- started semi okay and then I
Exploded. Completely.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this.


Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is no quick fix, you have a lot of emotional toxin to vent. Over time it will happen less often as you work through it by expressing it. This is the process, it is not something to fix. Some people are able to schedule time to vent and discuss the A, and keep it out of other discussions. This did not work well for me. The anger and hurt bled through to most of our interactions the first few months.


FBS 54
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4133 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post ats!!! Hand in there TAWT! Hugs!!!


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.


Posts: 5264 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
jjsr
♀ Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally normal to feel the rage. I do wonder if the 2 of you are seeking some kind of help whether it be IC or MC. I think that could help you get a handle on your rage and for the both of you to learn how to talk with each other better


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really solid advice from ats. I especially liked...

Watch this cycle. As the time from anger to apology and reconnecting gets shorter you will know you are making progress. There was a time this gap from anger to reconnect could take a week or more for FWW and I. Then it got down to days, and now it is usually no more than a few hours at the most.

I notice this in our relationship now. I know it doesn't feel like progress some days but from what I have read of your stuff, you are getting there.

I do recall saying to my H many x since D-Day that I have no desire to go back to old habits and the way things used to be. Things have changed and like ats said, "even change for good causes stress."

Keep talking. Keep listening.
((TAWT))


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2444 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
heartbrokeninaz
♀ Member
Member # 40779
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wondertwin can I ask you what his why was? I still can't get that answer. Everything else is going well but I obsess over this "why" thing. I think we are still new to this and it will take time. I do this to my WH and we have about the same DDAy. I think its just maybe in some strange form a test. To see if indeed we do matter, because we sure as hell didn't matter at the time they were with someone else. I'm sure it will lessen with time.


BW 40 (me)
WH 40
DDay 1 07/31/13 ONS with horseface
DDay 2 05/09/14 inappropriate texts to another woman (not returned)
I live a real life fairy tale. I married prince charming. He kissed a troll. He turned into a frog.

Posts: 207 | Registered: Sep 2013
iwillNOT
♀ Member
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Wondertwin)))

I empathize with your situation. A few things come to mind.

He is now faced with some real, intense anger from you. I think it can feel like an attack and his defensive response may be in reaction to that. When my WH and I talked about this issue in MC, the MC pointed that out, and she said in her experience men are much more likely than women to automatically meet anger with defensiveness/ their own anger. Women, on the other hand, generally speaking respond with hurt, or by trying to peacemake. I do see this dynamic with my WH and I, though I don't like to generalize. He does not respond gracefully to my anger, but he is working on it. I told him to think of the anger as pain with a mask on, and that seemed to help. He reacts much better to my pain, oddly.

Also- could it be that you are moving into a new stage- you have hurt and bled together, dealt with affair questions and how's and whys, bonded and reaffirmed your love, you have hurt and he has comforted - you are both still in the marriage - now are you in a new phase of looking at the changes in each of you and learning a new way to " dance?" You have changed the established steps of your dance - you are expressing your anger, pushing him, not backing down or taking crap. Now in response he must scramble and figure out new steps himself just to keep up. You are different now, this is reality. This new you is making him uncomfortable to the point where he is asking for reassurance that you won't leave him - he is scared!


You ask:

Why am I sort of satisfied that I got to him?

IMHO maybe you are taking back some of your power after all the pain. After being betrayed like you were, it must feel just a little bit good to have him worried. Nothing wrong with reinforcing the message that you aren't to be taken for granted.


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 512 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 3:41 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is another dynamic that comes into play in addition to the anger, resentment, embarrassment, defensiveness, shame, fear, and other strong emotions both you and your WS are experiencing, and that is change. Your perception of who your WH is has changed. Your WH is now trying to change an learn new behaviors. Your interactions with your WS and his with you are changing.

Ats nailed it here ^^
and here too ..
There is no quick fix, you have a lot of emotional toxin to vent. Over time it will happen less often as you work through it by expressing it. This is the process, it is not something to fix.

As the reality of this all sinks in, your rage is absolutely justified and normal and you have to get it out. Not expressing it and not dealing with it would only lead to it festering inside and that would do more damage long term. That anger is there, and your husband has to help you deal with it - he can't expect you to not express it so that he can take the easy way out and not face what he's done to you. There are consequences for betraying you and helping you deal with your natural anger is one of them. Him learning to have empathy with you and thinking of someone other than just himself is part of the changes he has to make.

Today he told me he was fearful I was just doing this until I get closure. He would stay and help me heal but he needed to know if I was going to stick around in the end. He actually got all "demandy" about it.

He's still not quite there yet with the 'getting it' TAW. If he was he would realise that he is in no position at all to make any demands or ask for guarantees. He'd know that with infidelity the betrayal is so great that there are no guarantees and you couldn't give him one at this early stage even if you wanted to. You are still there. You are expressing your hurt and anger and trying to heal with him. That's about as good as it gets and the most you can promise him right now and he has to realise that. Until he does he still hasn't got he extent of the damage he's caused. You both still have a long way to go TAW and this is that processing in action right now. He can't expect you to just go back to being exactly the same as you were before, and he has to realise that he has changes he has to make for your marriage to survive too. If he hasn't made the changes yet you can't make any guarantees.

....I am so used to smoothing things over for him

^^^ This is what you need to change.

He started gas lighting and blame shifting again. Hasn't done that in a while. So telling though. He still feels somewhat justified in his A. He won't admit it- but when you give your "why" in a defensive and challenging tone, that's not remorse- that's justifying.

You are completely right in what you say above, and that is worrying, because has yet to recognise this for what it is. He must realise that this is what he has to change if he wants you to stay in the marriage with him. The new changed you will not settle for the old dynamic. Right now, you are giving him the gift of time to try to help you heal and to work on his his issues and the things he needs to change.

Yes, he's scared and he's still learning those changes too, but TAW as the betrayer the onus is on him to support you through your justified anger at him - not to challenge it. When you explode rather than be defensive he should try to find what is at the very crux of your anger at that precise moment and apologise specifically for that thing. Showing you that he 'gets' why you are so angry about that specific thing, and putting your needs before his own defensiveness and preference not to be shouted at, would certainly help you to defuse your anger at the time and show you that he's working on his changes. The anger is going to be there TAW - you can't suppress it and letting it out will help to let it go (or lessen it enough that you can live with it) and he can commit to helping you with that.

Please don't think that because you are exploding outwards in rage that you are damaging your attempt at R - you are not. You are in the stage of processing your anger and still seeing the changes that need to be made. ((TAW))

[This message edited by sinsof thefather at 5:12 AM, December 13th (Friday)]


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1880 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok slight threadjack here, someone did what I was avoiding.

Your initals are TAWT, which in my dyslexic brain changes to TWAT, and wellit made me giggle.

Sorry. End T/J

Please know that these outburst, and fights are a normal thing you are both scared right now, and want it to work, and that's the important thing to remember. The other thing to remember is usually everytime you have one of these episodes you are both learning about one another, and progressing in your relationship.

I do urge you to start exercising, or doing something to help you manage that rage/anger. It is so much more helpful to working through this shit, it the you are not yelling and screaming, but having productive conversations, and I'm not saying I wasn't in your shoes, but the WS does a whole lot better in working to heal, the M and them selves if they are not operating from a defensive stance.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8707 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
TheAmazingWondertwin
♀ Member
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your initals are TAWT, which in my dyslexic brain changes to TWAT, and well it made me giggle.

Oh tushnurse- you are not the first one to say so. Others have called me WT or just Wonder.
Although, the first time someone pointed it out, I believe they used it when referring to my H, as in Mr.TWAT...That made me giggle.

Okay- on to the other stuff.

Thank you inhell for your empathy. I am sorry you are suffering now as well.
Good news? I feel worlds better today. So hang in there ((((inhell)))

As the time from anger to apology and reconnecting gets shorter you will know you are making progress. There was a time this gap from anger to reconnect could take a week or more for FWW and I. Then it got down to days, and now it is usually no more than a few hours at the most.

This made me feel so much better. He came to me immediately after work. He put his hand in mine, one finger over my mouth, and said, "Please, just listen."
I did.
Man...did I learn a lot.

He heard me. He listened to what I needed from him. He fought it like hell all day...

He is now faced with some real, intense anger from you. I think it can feel like an attack and his defensive response may be in reaction to that

Absolutely. He said this exact thing to me last night. "You have never done this to me. I didn't know how to act."
He also referred to his severe FOO issues (not as an excuse). He explained how he learned long ago that when the flight or fight response kicked in, he had to fight, or die. His auto response kicked in because he was being attacked non stop for days on end. No matter what he said, I attacked it.

IMHO maybe you are taking back some of your power after all the pain. After being betrayed like you were, it must feel just a little bit good to have him worried. Nothing wrong with reinforcing the message that you aren't to be taken for granted.

That's exactly what I was doing. I explained that the closer and safer I felt, the easier it was to unleash all of the venom.
I also explained that in moving forward, subconsciously I think my mind was stirring up all of the issues that I saw getting in the way of progress.
I had to get so angry, because my normal mild mannered self would have just brushed over them and moved on. I was pushing him, knowing it would get worse, because the worse it got, the more honest I became. Make sense?

He was kind and honest and very very reflective last night. I still stood my ground.

It was such a long story.
Summary?
He has thought that I have been cheating with an old boyfriend since 2000. He suspected, never said anything. Then in 2007, he suspected again. The move to our new home (3000 miles away)? He "knew" I had cheated, thought I was lying, decided to "forgive" me (without talking to me about it) for the kids sake, and then moved, hoping that getting me away from this supposed AP would keep me safe and all his.
I haven't spoken to this supposed "AP" since I was 16 years old. Honestly. I have never cheated, never thought of cheating...and I had NO IDEA that he has been thinking this for nearly 10 years. He gave up on me 5 years ago and stayed with it for the kids...and because he said he loved me so much he couldn't be without me, but he "knew" I had betrayed him.

Wow. this was huge. we were in two completely different marriages.

There is SOOOOO much more to this.
suffice it to say- he made these declarations:

1. "I was broken when we met."
2. "I was not healthy enough to be in a relationship with anyone"
3. "I have treated you like a wayward since the day we met, because of (long list horrible experiences pre-me here)"
4. "The way I treated you was mentally abusive and you did not EVER deserve any of it. I know that."
5. "I was jealous of your healthy childhood and normal healthy teen years and normal happy early 20's. I was so desperate to be the best thing that ever happened to you, that I hated everything before me in your life."
6. "I know that you were happy and healthy before you met me. I have broken you and you never deserved that."
7."I don't understand why I have hurt someone that I love so much. You are the only person in my life who has ever stood by me and really loved me, and I hurt you over and over again."
8. "I know that this is not over, and I want you to know that I am not going anywhere. I will stay right here and do whatever I need to do to get healthy and show you how important you are to me."

There was more. This is the summary.
Wow.
just wow.
Rage, lifted. heart, full. Love, back on.

It is not over. We still have so much healing. He continued to talk and share more about himself. Things I had only small glimpses of.
he was so afraid of who he was, he pretended that he wasn't that person for so long. With no where to put that resentment and insecurity, he took it out on me.
It all made sense. I looked at our lives together through a different lens (AGAIN- sometimes that feels like all I do these days).
Our entire marriage he has acted like a BS and treated me like a WS.
I just didn't recognize it because I had no idea that he felt this way AT ALL.
I even remember in 2007 when he asked me if I had spoken to this random guy from high school. Grilled me, got upset, told me that Facebook kills marriages etc. (I was not contacting the guy at all, let alone of Facebook.
You have to understand, he was acting like a BS- has our whole marriage. I see it now, all of it. Even the HB after he decided to stay with me.
I of course just thought he was being romantic and super super great in bed- now that I know the stages of infidelity recovery, I see what was happening so clearly.)

I know this is long. I apologize. I am still amazed at what came out last night.

We are back on track. Closer, once again. And ready for the next hurdle. I have been through this enough to know that this was just one part of a very long process.

But I truly feel as if this was a HUGE obstacle. This was what I needed from him. Now we have somewhere to start from.

I am so proud of him. I am so proud of the man he is becoming. I knew he was in there. And I am seeing him.
We are both changed people. We are communicating again. We know more about who the other person is than EVER before.

The love was never the difficult part.

Heartbroken-

can I ask you what his why was? I still can't get that answer.

I have gotten so many whys and they all make sense.
There is no one answer- other than, he was/is a very very broken man.

We still have a lot of talking to do.
Remember in the movie, Shrek? Its like onions.
Layers, donkey, layers.

Each time we talk new layers are revealed about both of us. I see him learning things about himself as we go through this.
He admits that the "why" he thought was the "why" 3 months ago is nowhere near being the real "why". Then 2 months ago he had different whys, and on and on until last night.
We are still uncovering other "whys". I have learned to stop asking and looking for that one answer. There isn't one.

It doesn't make any more sense to him than it did to me. But...he is talking, and he is exploring and he is sharing with me. And trusting me.

And I see the effort and the changes- they are so much more now than before.
And I see the smile in his eyes again.
Not the fog smile. Not the "hope she doesn't snap on me in public" smile. Not the "keep smiling and maybe she won't nail me for saying that stupid thing smile."

No. His real smile. With his amazing blue eyes and that twinkle that means he is not wearing any shields.
He cried in my arms. And explained all of the reasons why he never has before. I cried with him.

I am sorry for rambling.
I feel as if we had to tear ourselves apart to build ourselves back up again, and stronger than before. The next go round, Im hoping I can retain some of that strength to help see me through.
Friends, if you see me falling down that rabbit hole again- can you please remind me of the celebration I am feeling right now? I know we will go down again- its what needs to happen- but I will do my best to hold on to this feeling right here.

I love him. Very much.
We are making progress. Real progress.
I see the light at the end of this horrible nightmare of a tunnel.
He gave me what I asked for. And I didn't have to spell it out for him.


[This message edited by TheAmazingWondertwin at 4:14 PM, December 13th (Friday)]


Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And that's what I am talking about with each episode being an opportunity for learning and healing and progressing.....

You guys are making huge progress. Be kind to you, and remember this won't get fixed overnight.

((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8707 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Marathonwaseasy
♀ Member
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Much love xxx


Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 3:40 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. TAW - you're right, this is HUGE.
You have to understand, he was acting like a BS- has our whole marriage. I see it now, all of it. Even the HB after he decided to stay with me.
I of course just thought he was being romantic and super super great in bed- now that I know the stages of infidelity recovery, I see what was happening so clearly.)

I am still amazed at what came out last night.

I can't imagine how amazed you must be. I don't doubt your gut feeling that you have all the truth now - even just reading your words here - it all just seems to fit so perfectly together.

I can't tell you how much I wish you well TAW, I do believe that you and your husband love each other very much and I think that now with the full truth, your real healing can start.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1880 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 16

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