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Newest Member: SoLostStillNumb (44248)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Attempted contact again after a year..
Almost12Years
♀ Member
Member # 34861
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unbelievable. I don't post here a ton, though I lurk regularly. Just a few days ago I looked through my old posts wanting to see how far we'd come, and realized that it had been about a year since MOW had last attempted contact. (Prior to that it had been about 8 months when it ended.) FWH handled it really well - he immediately told me and turned off the IM function so that it showed that it was 'unavailable.' Per our decision, we chose to go with crickets.

Well apparently FWH was out for a walk today, and guess who is walking his direction on the other side of the street. She waved and I guess he gave a curt wave and kept walking. After returning to the office she had emailed him with a sarcastic email saying "guess I should be happy I at least got a wave". WTF?? She *knows* that I know, she *knows* that we're back together trying to make it work... And best of all, she met me and my kids before.. I. DON'T. GET. IT. Who does this?!?

I'm doing better - at least at the moment - than I was a year ago when she IMed FWH. Still angry and baffled, but feel less emotional than last time. It's another reminder of how much better of a person I am - so that's good, right?


Me - BW (38). Him - FWS (35)
College sweethearts
M - 13 years; together 16
DD (9) and DS (7)
Blindsided by confession on 2/17/12
6+ mo. EA/2x PA

Putting the pieces back together, day by day. Hardest thing I've ever done.


Posts: 223 | Registered: Feb 2012
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. But. He shouldn't have waved. Just put his head down and kept walking. And you guys should send a NC letter about contacting the authorities if she ever contacts him again.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ôSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4493 | Registered: Dec 2010
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MOW sent my WH a blank email to his work email after a year of NC. I didn't bother with a no contact letter, I just forwarded it to her BS. END of problem (and somehow it resulted in her terminating her Facebook page too.)

Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2012
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2 of my H's OW attempted contact almost exactly a year after dday. Both of them know we are together and have been told in no uncertain terms that there is to be absolutely no contact. They are ego-centric people. In her mind, your H must be thinking about her because she is thinking about him - especially since he waved back. That's more acknowledgement than she's gotten from him since the A ended. I think it was good of you guys to share what happened and ignore her. It sends a clear enough message - unless she continues reaching out. Then I might do something a little more confrontational.

Posts: 991 | Registered: Jan 2013
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that if he told you right away, kudos to him. It's a natural reaction to wave back that we don't think about until after, no matter who it is.

As for (Can't call Names in R forum), I'd, if she has one, contact her BS, or better, send the note to him and ask him to kindly control his W as you and your husband have asked her never to contact you. If no BS, draft one, (a nc) and ask an attorney to send it for you.


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 873 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
Topic Posts: 5

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