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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Bah Humbug!
whichwaysup
♀ New Member
Member # 41539
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can anyone tell me how to get through the holidays? I'm completely behind on shopping, the last time I tried I had to leave my shopping cart in the middle of the aisle & get out of the store before I burst into tears. My Christmas cards are sitting in the box waiting,but I don't care to write them out. The idea of being around all our family & friends is enough to give me a panic attack. Those people are used to the couple we were and I just can't fake it through that.
I literally have no Christmas spirit and really just wish it would go away. But my 3yo deserves so much better & since my WH had no regard for that, I feel all the pressure is on me...

Posts: 27 | Registered: Dec 2013
No12turn2
♂ Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Online shopping?


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The holidays are really hard.

My D-Day was in April, and the first couple of years I cut myself some slack and did only what was necessary....basically ensuring my children had a great Christmas. I really was not in any mood to celebrate the holidays but pushed through for my three boys.

Cards didn't go out.
Cookies didn't get baked.
Decorations did not get put up with the exception of the tree and the outside lights.

Make a list and decide what is necessary and what can slip through the cracks this year. It will take a great deal of pressure off of you.


Posts: 7593 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
NotFixable
♀ Member
Member # 41608
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I relate whichwaysup! I too, am trying to figure out how to fast forward through the next few weeks without ruining the entire thing for my 11 year old. I haven't even managed to put the tree up yet. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through and it's amazing that the world keeps turning like nothing happened at all!


Me-BS
Him-WH
Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
Status: Separated and planning D
___________________________________

Nowhere left to go but up!


Posts: 108 | Registered: Dec 2013
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally get it.

I am going to my moms for xmas. She will have decorations and drag me shopping.

I just really hope looking back DD doesn't see missing pictures and remember it as the year daddy left and mommy forgot xmas.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 497 | Registered: Nov 2013
callmecrazy
♀ Member
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got through last year (I'd highly suspected for a over a month and found hard proof the 15th of December) with online shopping and hit the Dr. up for some nerve pills. Not going to lie, there was a decent amount of wine being used at family parties too. Hugs ladies, it sucks, plain and simple

Posts: 279 | Registered: Mar 2013
ascian
♂ Member
Member # 40304
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've done all of our shopping online this year, though there's a couple local-only things we'll pick up in person. Beyond Amazon and the other big names, we've had a great time digging through Etsy for odd items to gift to equally odd relatives


Me - BH 39
Her - FWW 36
D-Day: 8/13
Working on R

Posts: 302 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
jstbreathe
♀ Member
Member # 40829
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DDay was Christmas eve. I saw a text on his phone from OW saying, "It's snowing!:)" He denied, said it was nothing for me to worry about. Christmas day, after all the presents and family parties, which I felt sick at, I confronted him again. He finally admitted to having an affair with her for over a year. He was leaving the next day, 12/26, for Geneva, Switzerland for a 5 day "business" trip. You guessed it, with her!
Well, Happy F-ing Holidays to me! How to get through the Holidays you ask? Stay away from anything that can be used as a weapon!


The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.
Stephen King
Me: BW
Him: WH
Married: 18 years
2 sons, 11&15
Trying to R

Posts: 152 | Registered: Sep 2013
brkn_heartd
♀ Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Christmas is very hard to get through. My D-day was in December 2009. I went through the motions and only did what I had too. In all honesty, the cards were done and hit the trash stamps and all. They were pictures of me and FWH while he was in the middle of his A. I wanted to puke when I looked at them....

What I (we) did was to make a few changes. The Christmas cooking was less, no parties, minimal decorations, but enough that our family still recognized Christmas. I was not happy and could barely smile. He looked like he could cry at any time. It was a tough time. You can get through it. Do some special things with your 3 year old. Remember, anything you do with him/her will be fun. Don't try to make it the "perfect" day, just make it through.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1652 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..
not in any mood to celebrate the holidays but pushed through

..is about all you can do..

..putting on a brave face for the childrens' benefit is a good idea and will help you get thru the whole day.

..Christmas spirit was definitely dampened at our house since D-day '09.. trying to get some of that 'spirit' back, can be tough..

'A's ruin so much..

..try to focus on the big smiles you'll be getting from your 3 y.o.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Topic Posts: 10

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