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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What the hell just happened?
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am almost 8 mos post D day and my d was final two weeks ago. It all happened so fast. Most days I feel solidly on my feet, but tonight I had one of those "what the hell just happened" crying jags. I miss the marital relationship. I have many who love me but the only ones who get me are my SI friends. So thanks SI for being there for me tonight.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 614 | Registered: May 2013
PurpleBirch
♀ Member
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((tripletrouble))


Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner


Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very normal to have these feelings. How could you not, really? I experienced the same thing, occasionally, for a year after my D. I would find myself driving and thinking, "Shit. What just happened."

But, no regrets here.

You're simply still processing the magnitude of what happened.


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 911 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
gardens64
♀ Member
Member # 38449
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs. This is a rough time of year

Posts: 54 | Registered: Feb 2013
Thefly559
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry , I am not fully divorced yet but I am 8 months from D day and I too often wonder what happened and how? not as much as before but still once in a awhile I think this is very normal and cannot wait for it to stop. all the best


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 601 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((triple)))))) I get it, honey. We all do. Be gentle with yourself and it will pass.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24376 | Registered: Aug 2011
NotFixable
♀ Member
Member # 41608
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Tripletrouble))

I really feel for you! I just went to a lawyer and filled out the paperwork to start the process this morning. My emotions are all over the place from hour to hour. Being on here has helped me so much. Reading others' stories and realizing that I'm not alone in this crazy nightmare has been a lifesaver! This is a great place to be.


Me-BS
Him-WH
Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
Status: Separated and planning D
___________________________________

Nowhere left to go but up!


Posts: 101 | Registered: Dec 2013
jemimapd
♀ Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It must be in the air today. I was crying tonight and on the phone to my SIL. The feelings of loss are so painful.

I thought I would be married to this man to the end. I loved him so much.

I want the man I thought I married back. I want the marriage I believed I had. But it's gone.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My divorce was just 6 months after D Day and like you I am still in shock. Yet it has been a year since my divorce. I think when divorce happens so quickly we don't start processing things until afterwards because during divorce we are in survival mode. I too have the same thought of OMG what just happened and a lot of unanswered questions. I will keep you in my thoughts today as we both struggle through this.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
jemimapd
♀ Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jersey, that is exactly it. I have so many unanswered questions. Sometime small pieces of the puzzle will slot into place. But there again I am having to come to terms with the fact that I will never, ever know the truth about my marriage.

I am surviving, readjusting to life on my own, getting over a devastating betrayal and wondering how much of the last ten years of my life was real.

No wonder I am feeling wiped out....


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Tripletrouble))

It is a whirl wind, the getting through day to day takes up most of our lives.

The crying jag is normal and to be expected. We are grieving a massive loss. We didn't get the luxury of a few weeks/years like our POS spouses did. We are still playing catch up.

I too miss the 'best friend' I thought he was. I am working on accepting that he was not and never was that guy.


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am happy to say the sadness was short lived. Those feelings are becoming less intense and stretched out to longer intervals, which I take as a great thing. I think I have a new phase starting, which is resentment. It's different than anger, because it's not so much anger at the cheating and lying as it is resentful that I have to take on a whole new life.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 614 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 12

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