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Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Ugh! Five years on....does it ever go away?
millienotboo
♀ Member
Member # 22415
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So......things have been good with h, mostly. We've both been in IC for five years. (Yes, five :)) FOO issues on both sides so it was needed.
I now work for a guy who is rather powerful in the community, has lunch with the Mayor etc....good guy, kind of a moral Godfather. Today a city councilman comes in and asks the boss if he will hire a young lady who has recently graduated college and having a rough time finding something. He goes on to describe the young ladies family ties, his description raised the hair on my neck. Yep, the OWs daughter. Unfortunately the only open position is for MY assistant. Grrrrr, thing is....OW is the very bad apple in a very good family. Her daughters, by all appearances, are very good girls and her husband is the fire chief of our town.
So, trying to be a good person here, the girl has worked hard for her degree and I appreciate anyone who wants to work....I just don't see how I can do it. How the hell can I do it?
Help!


M-8 yrs together 11
Me-45 BW
Him-49-WH
D-Day 10-10-2008
In R

Posts: 758 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: South
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I say if they have connections, let them find something else. Explain it to your boss. Would be terrible for you to be stressed on the job and you could end up in trouble for making it a hostile workplace situation. Protect yourself.

Posts: 2172 | Registered: Mar 2011
millienotboo
♀ Member
Member # 22415
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I simply cannot imagine having that conversation with my boss. I'm not one to bring my personal life into my workspace. I suppose that I may have to if push comes to shove but, oh lord, do I not want to.


M-8 yrs together 11
Me-45 BW
Him-49-WH
D-Day 10-10-2008
In R

Posts: 758 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: South
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since the position is for your assistant, do you get to say "yea" or "nay" and do you have to give a reason other than "I don't think it is a good fit"?

I don't really feel you should have to have the poor daughter working for you. It isn't her fault, but this is a consequence of her mother's bad choice's.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9713 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
millienotboo
♀ Member
Member # 22415
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will be asked my opinion, I'm certain, but I worry that the request coming from the councilman will carry more weight.
I hate the idea of sabotage but I'm leaning towards pointing out that a young woman with a BA won't serve in an asst position for very long, as this is a family business with the average longevity at 25 years this may be the best tact.


M-8 yrs together 11
Me-45 BW
Him-49-WH
D-Day 10-10-2008
In R

Posts: 758 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: South
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think the daughter knows what went on? If she does she may be smart enough to turn the job down.

Sorry, the situation sucks!


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3822 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Patchy
♀ Member
Member # 39228
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the post that said if you have a say, then say its "not a good fit" ... or whatever you need to do to keep her from being hired. Talk to your boss about why its a good fit if you have to. If neither of those work then there's nothing else you can do it seems, but you will have tried.

I feel for you. I still dread the day I run into the OW. I watch shows where they talk about "crimes of passion" in a whole new light.


Me BS 44
Him FWS 45
Married 23 Years
DDay 1 July 2012
DDay 2 Christmas Day 2013 same woman
EA with kissing, very strong bond and talk of leaving spouses for each other.

Posts: 93 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 7

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