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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: This is probably really stupid
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got myself some stackable birthstone rings to represent my kids and wear those instead. It represents a love and commitment more lasting and true than my marriage.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1866 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bought myself a simple gold band. It symbolizes that I still keep my marriage vows and technically and legally I am still married, just wont wear his rings. It also keeps those nosy moms at pick up from checking out your ring finger. For Christmas this year I bought matching simple silver bands for myself and my daughters to symbolize my eternal commitment to them and after Christmas that is what I will wear.

Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.

Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I only wore mine for just over 7 years - I took it off on DD.

I used to touch my thumb to the underside and feel an infinite sadness. It would literally stop me in my tracks and I'd just stand there silent and sad.

A year later I was on a weekend away with the girlfriends and bought a ring - for some reason the next day it wouldn't fit on my right hand so I ended up putting it on my ring finger. I only wore it for under an hour because it felt so uncomfortable on that finger. Not emotionally, physically. It kept catching my eye and it just felt wrong.

I kind of had a chuckle to myself about that.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH asked me yesterday what I have done with my rings. They're currently locked up. He thought that maybe I'd sold them. Oh no. I earned those rings, I am not selling them! What I will do further on down the road is get them both remade into a ring of my own design (I have an idea already), and I'll wear it on my right hand.

I miss my rings a lot. I feel like I could wear them since we're technically still married, but he asked me to take them off the day I told him I was moving out. I wistfully look at the rings on my coworkers hands all the time. It makes me sad that I can't wear mine. I was so proud to wear them. Not just because they were pretty, but because of all they represented.

Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner

Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 3:43 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took my engagement ring off a day or two prior to dday and gave it back to my ex. He was so distant, uncaring and I felt engaged to myself. He took it without much hesitation which was a confirmation to me of how little he cared about me or my feelings. I wore it for about 10months. I have to admit that it wasn't my favorite design and I thought it was too tight anyways though I missed it for a few weeks after I took it off. I was proud to wear it because of it's significance and now I feel judged by the society having 2 kids with no ring on my finger. I try to be strong though sometimes I feel ashamed.

Funny thing is that I still have the ring box in my room that I look at although my ex moved out in February. It signifies empty promises that he made.

[This message edited by BrighterFuture at 3:47 AM, December 14th (Saturday)]

D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.

Posts: 349 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I was proud to wear it because of it's significance and now I feel judged by the society having 2 kids with no ring on my finger. I try to be strong though sometimes I feel ashamed."

BrighterFuture- YES. I feel the same way. I don't judge anyone, but I sure FEEL judged, being pregnant, and having 5 kids..and people always commenting "oh, your husband" this and that, esp when they find out I'm pregnant with twins ("oh goodness, your husband must be <insert whatever>")'s humiliating.

He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, it's not stupid at all.

I took mine off on DDay because it was too painful to look at. But, at the same time, it was too painful to not have on my finger as well. So I went to and had a ring made with my kids names engraved on it and I wore that ring there for a long time, until I healed some. Now I'm ok with not having a ring on that finger and I wear my kid's ring on the other hand. It helped with the transition.

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
Topic Posts: 27
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