Does anyone here understand?
"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana
Let's break it down. I have no advice about your X or the co-parenting. I was past that stage by the time my D happened.
If your SO has stepped back, try to look at it as a bullet dodged. Remember it's not about you - it's about him. As for helping you out, let him do it as long as you can stand it because it advances one of your goals - selling the house.
As for the promotion, I made the leap from support staff to technical staff by being willing to market myself outside of my current job. I was willing to look for opportunities and apply for things with other companies. I also had some really good mentors. Of course that was 10 years ago and the job market is not that great right now.
You can't lament the decision to be a SAHM. That time you had with your children was a gift - it built a strong foundation for all of you. It sucks right now, but this will pass.
Try to take care of yourself. Even a couple of hours to yourself with no one pulling at you can help.
Sending strength and peace.
Each time he comes over to help I am visually reminded that he found me not good enough to keep being his SO
I am learning that we choose partners pertaining to the place in life that we are. An alcoholic needs a codependent. An abuser needs a victim. When I needed to be a victim, I chose an abusive partner. That didn't last too long (thank goodness) but then apparently I needed someone to save me. I chose a KISA. Once the chinks in his armor became apparent, I moved on to an alcoholic and now my current SO. I have a lot of partners to choose from, but each time, I chose one that felt "right" to me. They felt right at the time because they were the partner(s) I needed in order to work on my issues.
Current SO. After we got past his superficial reasons for starting down that slippery slope to his EA's, we realized he wasn't running TO someone, he was running AWAY. He was running away from me because to him, he feels that love should be shown to him by treating him badly. That is how he was raised. Since I treated him well, he didn't understand that type of love and it made him very uncomfortable.
So, please don't internalize that you are not good enough. You just are in different places in your life-growth. There is just something in your (X)SO that is not allowing him to work on the issues he needs to be working on with you.
[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 5:00 PM, December 14th (Saturday)]
The thing that sticks out for me is your situation with DD. OMG. How is she? How are you? Is that a really recent thing, because the ripples of dealing with that could be more than enough on a plate.
Your SO is obviously making a choice because of something in his life. You are great, and he is still friendly. If friendly is uncomfortable for you, send him on! You do what is right for you.
When I get overwhelmed, and from your list you have every right to be overwhelmed! But it helps me to turn around and make a list of all the blessings, the things that are going right and that I HAVE. It forces me to shift perspective.
(((so many many hugs))) I would pop over and make you tea if I could.