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User Topic: Not sure whats going on - "Friends" at work?
RJB3
♂ New Member
Member # 41648
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm guessing she chose defending her behavior over being with you. No comfort there. I think that's my reality as well.

Posts: 7 | Registered: Dec 2013
TennisTC
♀ Member
Member # 41330
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry for what your WW is putting you through right now RJB3. You deserve so much more. Know that you are not crazy - your WW is manipulating and gaslighting right now. Stay strong and take care of yourself.


Me: BW Him: WH (Both early 30's)
Married 11 years with a DD7
EA with coworker
DDay: 2-24-13
R'ing

Posts: 161 | Registered: Nov 2013
Kelany
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's blameshifting by telling you that you're a "psycho" husband for recording her.

She's gaslighting you by saying she "set you up" for the recording.

It's in the wayward spouse handbook.

Stay strong. NC and the 180. Only discuss kids and finances.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 1993 | Registered: Feb 2012
RJB3
♂ New Member
Member # 41648
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please define NC and the 180. I'm assuming it means a reversal of behavior and willing to leave.

[This message edited by RJB3 at 12:45 PM, December 15th (Sunday)]


Posts: 7 | Registered: Dec 2013
TennisTC
♀ Member
Member # 41330
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Check out the healing library - see the yellow box in the upper left corner. From there, make sure and click through all the links at the top of the page such as BS facts, WS facts, and articles. There is really great info in there!


Me: BW Him: WH (Both early 30's)
Married 11 years with a DD7
EA with coworker
DDay: 2-24-13
R'ing

Posts: 161 | Registered: Nov 2013
Scubachick
♀ Member
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! So sorry to hear that it's come to this. I don't know why they have such a hard time seeing their own behavior for what it really is. As hard as it was for you to leave, I think you did the right thing. I wish I was as brave as you. Maybe leaving will wake her up this time. Stay stong and the times that you feel yourself getting weaker and feel like giving in are the times you should push even harder. She knows your weakness is your children. Hang in there! You're doing good.

It's so frustrating! All the lies, excuses, rug sweeping....why can't they just be honest???


Posts: 480 | Registered: Jul 2013
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((RJB3))) You know she wasn't setting you up (I heard that same crap from my H!) She's STILL blameshifting and lying. And she's pissed because you busted her on her lies! Be prepared for more insane statements from her as she tries to cover herself.

Please check with an attorney about leaving the house, don't know if you could be charged with abandonment or some such. But you never know, this could turn out to be the wakeup call she needs. Then again she could file something on you, so make sure you've got yourself covered legally!


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9614 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
mrcpu
♂ Member
Member # 38157
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't forget to give us an update! Let us know how things are going.


D-Day: 22 Dec 2013
Me: 40's WW: 40's Together 15 years
OM: ex-"Best Friend" of 30+ years

Posts: 190 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Toronto
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

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