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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Affair sex
AnnaKarenina
♀ New Member
Member # 41649
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband tells me that sex is much better with me than during the 5 month affair (they worked together and met monthly for 2/3 evenings in a row - on different coasts most of the time - though they did talk or text every day) even though his anticipation was tremendous. He said he was always thinking about me, so he had to work to have an orgasm and the sex was not satisfying. She also told me that even though the chemistry was great, the actual sex was not. In particular, he took a really long time and even then was not always successful. I have never had that problem with him.This runs counter to everything I have ever read about affairs. Our MC buys it, but he is trying to keep us together, How likely is his (or her) version? BTW she is close to 20 years younger than him. I am asking WS for input.

Posts: 5 | Registered: Dec 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH used the services of a "High end companion" . He said she was not attractive, and it was bad. I have no idea what her face looks like (it's blurred "to protect her identity" on her website...) I guess he had it built up in his mind...


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
sailorgirl
♀ Member
Member # 38162
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's possible for sex to be bad. With H and OW, there was no creativity, no affection, no exploration.

The fact that they didn't have a passionate, wildly orgasmic affair doesn't mean less damage done to him, to me or to our marriage. Betrayal is betrayal.


Married 14 years, three amazing kids
H had 17 month EA/PA
D-day 1/5/13
Reconcilling

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To me, it's worse. He was willing to throw us away for meaningless sex. Which is never good...


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Dreamland
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess if he had it once but why go back. My H says the same thing but I call bullshit. I don't believe him otherwise he wouldn't keep going back. How embarrassing if he couldn't get it going or took so long.
They are full of shit IMO


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My W says the sex wasn't good after the first couple of sessions. Her body language and affect when she talked about the sex were congruent with what she was saying. She kept going back because she thought she was saving ow from suicide and because of the emotional aspects of her 'connection'.

Lots of BSes report their WSes say sex wasn't great. Doesn't make sense to me, but so little of her A thinking does.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10430 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
AnnaKarenina
♀ New Member
Member # 41649
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He says that he expected the sex to be good during an affair and he kept trying expecting it to improve. Can any men respond?

Posts: 5 | Registered: Dec 2013
BrokenwingBird
New Member
Member # 41052
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH admitted the sex with OW was great. Our sex was lousy the last couple of years. So I actually had to drag out of him why it was great, and how we could fix our sex life, etc. He said that he always just wanted me though and just felt unwanted by me and the OW was there and seemed to want him when I didn't.


D-Day: 10/10/13
D-Day 2: 4/29/14
Length of PA: 2 yrs, 2nd PA: 6 months
Married 4yrs
Together: 8yrs
One beautiful 2yr old son

Posts: 31 | Registered: Oct 2013
Marathonwaseasy
♀ Member
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 1:21 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the reasons fwh was so angry with me during the A was that the sex with OW was bad and this was apparently my fault because of guilt, because he still loved me, because it couldn't compare. Messed up A thinking or what?
The real reasons by sex was bad isn't for the R forum.
But if you hate yourself you sell yourself short.


Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
SlowUptake
♂ Member
Member # 40484
Default  Posted: 1:52 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can any men respond?

By this I assume you mean male WS's.
If that's the case, then nope.

Apparently:-

They are full of shit IMO
YMMV.

If you mean just male BS's then ignore this post.

If you really want an honest answer, you should ask the question in the 'I Can Relate' forum in the thread 'BS Questions for WS's'.

You'll recieve an answer from a WS that has no reason to lie to you, and has their cranium well & truly extracted from their rectum.

[This message edited by SlowUptake at 1:55 AM, December 14th (Saturday)]


Me:WS,50+
Her:BS,50+ (WantToWakeUp)
Married 33yrs
Dday Dec 2009

"Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few." Pythagoras

There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Limbo in Oz
Topic Posts: 10

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