Why are boundaries so hard for some people!? I am doing well at work, may be promoted soon. I work from home so all communications with my boss and team is done through meeting rooms and phone conferences. We have a room for just our team and a private messaging system. I communicate with 3 female coworkers regularly and with my female boss regularly. She is training me to do what she does so I hold some of the meetings and reach out to team members when training needs to be done. We have a few male team members. One is 24 and he just crossed a firm boundary I have had since DDay, oversharing. I have read and reread this convo with him and do not see anywhere I asked for the kind of info he gave. He said he was stressed and needed to do a jump off for some hours, I said enjoy time with family and notify our TL. Then he says he is just so tired because: my wife and I have been rocky lately. I'm scared for 2014.
My response: just communicate and you'll be fine.
Him: I try its hard because she has Aspergers.
Me: marriage is hard. Talk to her and you'll be fine.
Him: I will.
Then nothing from me. I was sitting there like WTH!? Dude do you think your wife would be okay with you telling a virtual stranger these things. I tried to disengae as quickly as possible but would love some opinions here. Another communication, we were in a team meeting room and my boss asked him for his song choice as it was a wind down meeting. He didn't answer, I typed his name in chat with a question mark. No response we moved on to someone else's song. In that song I recognized the chorus to another song called juicy. I typed in chat juicy with a question mamark asking if anyone else recognized it. He comes back:
Him: why are you calling me juicy.
Me: I'm not I'm asking if the hook from that song is from juicy.
Him: never heard of it
Me: from notorious big juicy
Him: his name is big juicy!?
Me: no his name is notorious big and the song is called juicy.
Later that day is when the first convo I relayed happened. I don't feel I acted untowards. I didn't flirt, I didn't invite personal convo so wth? I communicate with everyone the same way except the 3 women I mentioned earlier as we are becoming friends. I don't know why he felt it was okay to cross any boundaries. Maybe I'm overthinking, I'm so hyper vigilant all the time.Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild
No longer together
Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.
Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.