So point of all this? Timelines are important. Even if your SO doesn't want one, the day they are ready for one you should have a mental diary or written one of everything you've remembered.... 99.9% certain....
Both had DDays and TT
Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.
Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.
Timelines, confessions, open journals get out what you remember with the option to add more if you remember more. It is a balm to get out the ugly and the toxic.