Specifically, WH exhibits the following:
--can't seem to do "empathy" about his EA issues, but rather, goes into a deep shame mode
--is a "rescuer" type who needs to be needed
--low self esteem, deep fear of abandonment
--hyper defensive to small perceived criticism
--he's often "kiss up, kick down," in that he idealizes people based on their professions, eg referred to our neighbors as "the surgeon," "the colonel," "the professor" etc; and at the same time, often treats people with jobs like clerks, waitresses, demeaningly.
Does anyone else have experience with this sort of NPD? There is a lot of info out there on the grandiose kind, but not much on the vulnerable ones.
She doesn't "like" that she likes the OM, and he calls him lots of demeaning names; he is a handyman who never has money and can't do anything else; at the same time she calls herself "locked in the mansion" when she's with me. So I'm "the mansion", he's "nothing", because she knows that "will end soon anyway".
She clearly felt sorry for him and was "rescuing him" from his own issues (was an ex-BF in high school or something - she never properly cleared that up with me but there was something there, she used the word "kind of, not really").
So I'm also following this topic now.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
SamanthaBaker: great, thanks a lot. I've never pm'd before, but I'll give it a go.
Sorry SamanthaBaker. Tonight is not my technology night.
To PM, go to SamanthaBakers post on your thread, click on the smiley face on her post, it'll take you to a box you can type into on your private messages page, and will go to her.... her name should be in the text above the box, voila!!