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User Topic: exwh ditches kids on christmas
reallystruggling
♀ Member
Member # 23471
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is EXWHs year to have kids for christmas. He sent me an email yesterday stating he "unexpectedly" cant keep the kids this weekend (when his visitation starts) because he "suddenly" has to go on vacation with wife/wifetress. Fine, whatever, i'm happy to keep them. But i ask what day are you returning and he said I dont know when i'm coming back / i dont know if I will be back for christmas. WTF????? my poor kids. the youngest doesn't even know about dad ditching her. he never tells her and leaves me the job of informing her. once again, the dad chooses his dick over his kids.


me- BS (40 something)
him- remarried and already a WS again
3 amazing kids
multiple D Days over 20 years
Divorced 2010

Posts: 274 | Registered: Apr 2009
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that is so awful for your babies!!! I'm so sorry. Give them extra hugs!

Posts: 1231 | Registered: Aug 2010
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Really & kids))))

My heart aches for your children. I'm thankful they have a wonderful mom that is their rock....always there for them.


Posts: 34507 | Registered: Mar 2011
monarchwings
♀ Member
Member # 39891
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I am so sorry. That just plain sucks ass for your kids. I just dont get it how parents cannot want to celebrate with their kids. And what spineless ass not to tell them in person.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Jul 2013
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((reallystruggling & kids))))

"suddenly has to go on vacation?" The hell?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24798 | Registered: Aug 2011
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex did this last year as he didn't want to buy Santa presents for the kids as the youngest still believed. Now this year was my turn to have the kids and he tried the hey you had them last year, not my problem you chose not to spend the time with them!

Sorry for your kids to be dumped again, just watch he may try and switch next year!

Why is it so hard for them to put their kids first. I know cause they are selfish but I guess we always hope they will wake up to themselves.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1311 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude, I just don't understand this shit. The Princess is also having one of those "sudden" vacations and just won't have time to hang with my boys. Her fucking loss.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1805 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

once again, the dad chooses his dick over his kids.

Ha! Story of my life!

Your poor kiddos! That God they have a wonderful mom like you!


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1563 | Registered: Aug 2010
JessicaFL127
♀ Member
Member # 26864
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hahaha. I'm sorry, but the "sudden vacation" thing is just so ridiculous. "Sorry, can't make it, a vacation appeared out of nowhere and I had no way to avoid it." How can I get one of those to suddenly happen to me? I would like to suddenly go to Europe please.

[This message edited by JessicaFL127 at 7:43 AM, December 19th (Thursday)]


BW,32
divorced for 6 years
mom to two awesome boys,10 and 9

"But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more" -Cath, DCFC

"The most amazing things can come from some terrible lies"


Posts: 1244 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Missouri
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate it when people arrange their kids around their life....instead of their life around their kids.

What.a.Dick.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7890 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What. an. ass.

As the mom of kids who are now 25 and 21 and the ex wife of the guy who did this kind of thing. Know that eventually, he will get his payback. We were divorced when the children were 11 and 6 years old. There were so many times that he didn't even consider what was best for his children, couldn't make visitation, changed plans at the last minute, did things "he" wanted to do, not what they wanted to do. Always had an excuse as to why his choices were "best" for the kids. When they were young, I tried to protect them from his stuff "He loves you the best way he knows how" and "he doesn't realize how much this will hurt you" and kind of followed my kids' lead on what approach to take as they grew older. Now, as adults I can take the "Yep. That sucks. He's selfish and an oaf" approach.

And now, DD25 hasn't talked to her dad in 4 months. And her dad wonders why she is ignoring him. You reap what you sow...

Unfortunately, a parent's asinine behavior does hurt the kids a lot. My DD carries some sad and angry feelings about her Dad's behavior even while she knows it has nothing to do with her.

Hug your kids extra tight. Make it a great Christmas. Enjoy the extra time with them.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3073 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe there is a cheaters convention somewhere, mine is going to Mexico with the MOW who is also leaving her young daughter for Christmas. Mine does not want to see the DDs until the evening of the 28th and will bring them back the second. Actually said he probably won't want them on Christmas ever. Thought it important they wake up in their own beds. Plus he would have to do full blown Christmas instead of the 2 presents he got them. But I am so ok with that!


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 276 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe there is a cheaters convention somewhere


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3073 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
reallystruggling
♀ Member
Member # 23471
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Apparently the cheaters convention isn't over until next weekend-- the very day his Christmas visitation time ends. The kids told me this today. Of course the asshole doesn't have the courtesy to let me know when his plans screw up visitation.
(only 1 of my kids is still under 18) I took time off of work next week to spend time with the kids...now they said they want to spend time with their dad. On MY time. I took vacation time to be with them. He took vacation time to go to Europe without them. And they still want to go, they will jump through hoops for his crumbs. I must have taught them that while we were married. :( I feel SICK and SAD and disappointed that once again the asshole gets away with shitty behavior and his stupid fucking choices still hurt me and the kids.


me- BS (40 something)
him- remarried and already a WS again
3 amazing kids
multiple D Days over 20 years
Divorced 2010

Posts: 274 | Registered: Apr 2009
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((reallystruggling))

Some times taking the high road really sucks!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3073 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
reallystruggling
♀ Member
Member # 23471
Default  Posted: 1:07 AM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I honestly don't know if I can take the high road on this one. The big kids are home on break from university. I hope they realize I took time off from work to be with them, and will make only a short visit to their dad's place. The little one? I'm not sure I should let her go. We have always allowed the other parent to have time during Christmas but if he blows off the kids, should that mean he should get extra time later anyway? If not, the big kids are without the little one (and the little one misses out) for a celebration day and I don't want to disappoint them or be the bad guy who wouldn't allow her to go. But damn, he continues to do whatever he wants. Bonus: I get my kids for Christmas!!! But the rest of this really sucks. Three years later and he's still such a thorn in my side. Any words of wisdom?? And how about dealing with an ex who springs last minute cancellations of visitation on you. All. The. Time. Ugh! It's so hard to plan my free time.

[This message edited by reallystruggling at 1:22 AM, December 24th (Tuesday)]


me- BS (40 something)
him- remarried and already a WS again
3 amazing kids
multiple D Days over 20 years
Divorced 2010

Posts: 274 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 16

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