It is the Holidays and there is 'Cheer' all around and it is so much harder when we are not feeling joyful ourselves.
I wish I knew the perfect thing to say...
As for the old friends contacting you. I am sure it is nerve wracking when you talk to those who don't know but telling them would create 100 questions and this is something you do not want to deal with now - I get that. Let it go to voice-mail then shoot them an email updating them with all the bland, mundane shit just or call them when your up to talking. Do it on your time.
As far as the x's woman - screw both of them. Your torturing yourself and it does no good. Next time you feel that urge, distract yourself. Take a walk, post here, look at all those xmas cards
Im so sorry your hurting. Do something for your self this weekend - get a manicure/pedicure, buy a pretty scarf, visit a museum. Then come back and tell us!
I know you know all this, but sometimes reinforcement is good.
DDay Nov. 2011
Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people