I am tired of wondering who he is texting with, I am tired of wondering why he loves the porn so so so much, I am tired of pretending I am ok with all of it.
But scared to death to open this can of worms. If I bring it all up he will get defensive, that is how he is. What if we can't work it out? What if me telling him just gives him the heads up to hide all his online activity better?
I didn't even want to write this post for fear he might read it but I needed to get this out, especially to some people who umderstand.
I did open that can of worms 2 days ago. I had really had it. You can only pretend life is grand for so long. So it came out, and it's been a battle since.
It was really like a DDay. Saying he wasn't happy, didn't love me, etc. OW was the porn. I've realized he's a sick man, but I don't think I have it in me to work through something else. I'm just so tired of this.
Before you confront, make sure you have copies of taxes, financials, etc. And a plan of what you will realistically do in all possible outcomes of the confrontation. Be prepared. You are only as sick as your secrets…telling him you know about the porn may be something good in the end for all of you. He may feel unburdened with the secret. And once the secret is out it's not as enjoyable to engage in.
You can't live like this. I was at your point about a year ago and trying to work up the courage to confront. Accidentally finding out about his affair was the kick in the pants we all needed.
I hate it. I hate the porn, I hate all the focus he put into his game. We have discussed the game before. He no longer pays to play (as far as I know) but after he first agreed to no longer spend money on the game he was caught 2 more times. I sound like I should be saying this about a child. Not a grown man.
I don't want to be his mother and demand an end to the game and the porn. I don't want to police his devices. I want him to do this on his own but it just seems to be escalating.
I don't want to police his devices. I want him to do this on his own but it just seems to be escalating.
You also stated:
H still has addictions. He is addicted to an online multi player game and porn.
There's you answer:
Only you can decide how long you choose to live with an ADDICT; and not address THE ISSUE.
[This message edited by Dare2Trust at 9:54 PM, December 19th (Thursday)]
I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.