Topic: What did/is WS getting on the first post d day xmas?
Member # 38103
| Posted: 2:57 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
The other tread about what did you VS OM/OW get last Christmas got me thinking about this.
First Christmas post d day for me. WW is getting nothing. I told her that a month ago and that I also want nothing. We will each fill our stocking to keep the dream alive for DD and DS (if he still believes).
A few months ago I was having a really bad day and my coworkers/fellow BS member told me to get WW a gift to help. Bahahaha, I did! I am still here and did not kick her arse to the curb like I probably should have. Maybe next year?
Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013
Posts: 670 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
Member # 38089
| Posted: 3:34 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
Last year I went above and beyond and got WH a really great gift, and made it a COMPLETE surprise. I put a lot of effort, thought, and love into the gift......only to find out ON CHRISTMAS DAY that he had sex with his ugly, old co-worker like I suspected.
This year...he has gifts that he picked out himself...not very many...mostly clothes.
[This message edited by heartbroken2012 at 3:35 PM, December 19th (Thursday)]
BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)
Posts: 545 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 39667
| Posted: 3:40 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
A new furnace for our vacation house. THe old one crapped out suddenly last week.
BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"
Posts: 855 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 40229
| Posted: 3:50 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
He is still alive and breathing.
I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
Posts: 2181 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Member # 24416
| Posted: 3:52 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
I got him a few things prior to dday #2. They are under the tree. Nothing for me is there. dday #1 was in Jan. so almost a year had passed before Christmas. I don't know what I got him.
2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.
Married 27 years. Together 29.
3 children 24, 21, 14
OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.
Posts: 1617 | Registered: Jun 2009
Member # 40487
| Posted: 4:12 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
Whatever OW is getting him?
So far each of the kids wants to get him a gift card, so I guess that's what he's getting here.
Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life
Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 25001
| Posted: 4:17 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
One year for Christmas he didn't bother to get me anything. We stopped exchanging because I'm unemployed, but he didn't bother to take the kids shopping to get me a small gift. I'll be surprised if there's anything under the tree for me this year.
Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)
Posts: 5837 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Member # 40139
| Posted: 4:19 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
Last year (after Dday 1) I bought him a very expensive shirt he had mentioned in passing that he wanted, and some cologne. He took a photo of himself wearing the shirt and a Santa hat, and texted it to OW.
This year (after Dday2) he's getting a book and a travel coffee mug.
Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.
Posts: 774 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 40665
| Posted: 4:20 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
He's getting my middle finger way up in the air!!
Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.
Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Member # 41540
| Posted: 4:27 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
Christmas Day will be 27 days after d-day, he is getting sweet F### all!!! It's all I can do to have him in the house.
I haven't known a minutes peace for three weeks now, his remorse and begging for forgiveness is just not penetrating my brain or my heart.
Posts: 121 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: UK
Member # 39911
| Posted: 4:27 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
One of those photo books you design online. We took a bunch of pictures at H's parents' house, where he grew up, when they had to leave it and move to assisted living about 7 years ago. I had everything ready to design and order the book last Christmas, when my dad got really sick and had to go to a nursing home, and got busy with that. (Obviously)
That was the beginning of mean old me "not being sensitive to H's needs". Glad I put the effort into helping my dad. He was a much kinder and better man than H, who started the A he felt entitled to, only 2 weeks after Dad died. Asshole.
Anyhow... I decided to make the book this year, so if I move out he will have it to remember his life with my ILs, who were good people and would have been appalled at H's asshattery.
[This message edited by brokendancer7 at 4:28 PM, December 19th (Thursday)]
Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 56
Married 34 yrs
Latest DD - April 2013, PA
Posts: 181 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 39850
| Posted: 4:33 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
We are buying each other a trip out of town for New Years since he was with her last year during that time
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014
Posts: 1045 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 39001
| Posted: 4:40 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
I can't even think about it. My memories of last Christmas are terrible. According to the phone records he was texting his favorite hooker Christmas Day. #areyoukiddingme
BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell
Posts: 659 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 13447
| Posted: 4:51 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
My d-day was the first week of Dec. For that Christmas, I tried to get him the things he asked for. I was in that "love your spouse back into the M" mode. One of those things was a Cryptex from the Da Vinci Code. While he was gone I went into full on snoop mode and insisted he tell me the combo. It was "TRUST". Because according to him, I should have been trusting him. Yep- I dig at me, not a reminder of what he needed to earn.
I got a pair of boots, a season of Animaniacs and an iPod I made him return because I had one, just older. He never used the money to buy me something different.
He also, at some point, managed to text xOw2. The A was still happening. Through Christmas, New Years, him leaving for Iraq, our 13th anniversary and Valentine's Day. In fact it was late March before he sent a NC letter because she had his car and he was afraid of what she would do.
So Christmas was hard for me. Still is.
OTOH- he said it was the best Christmas ever and he could see how much I loved him.
Then why sneak off to text her and continue the A? It never makes sense.
"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣
Posts: 10999 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
Member # 39362
| Posted: 4:58 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
Last Xmas I got him a really nice watch. I saved up for almost the whole year to get it for him. He quit wearing it on Dday. Then I overheard him telling someone he had forgotten at OW's house one time and didn't want to lose it.
The next time I saw it around he house, I "retrieved" and kept it. He either didn't notice or doesn't miss it because he hasn't said one word about it to me.
This year, my gift to him is his freedom…to be someone else's problem.
There is always a rainbow after every storm.
Posts: 390 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Member # 41330
| Posted: 6:44 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
Nothing. Except maybe some coal in his stocking, but even that would be a stretch bc it would require some minimal effort on my part.
Me: BW Him: WH (Both early 30's)
Married 11 years with a DD7
Posts: 165 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 4286
| Posted: 6:53 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
The first Christmas post D-day I left a Christmas card on his pillow. He was in the guest room at that point.
Inside the Christmas card I wrote a message something along to the lines of, "For your gift this year I am giving you your freedom to be with Trixie the Wunderslut. Please pick up the divorce papers at my lawyers office at [address]. Merry Christmas."
The most amusing part in it is that he acted as if he had not seen a thing!
I did, however, take his daughter (my stepchild) shopping for a present for him. I have no recollection of that gift.
Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.
"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink
Posts: 3072 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
Member # 30314
| Posted: 6:57 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
last Christmas was the first one since Dday - and he was in an affair over Christmas.
Lump of coal in stocking. Not kidding.
his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
4 kiddos in lower 20's
“Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."
Posts: 4529 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 38622
| Posted: 7:02 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
He didn't get shit. They didn't make it past 3 weeks after I found out and she moved out. Apparently he couldn't handle what the reality of being with her was like (kids, depression, still in love with me, me always going to be around for my kids etc.)and she couldn't handle the life she left behind (me having fun, hanging out with her friends, family outings with the kids, Ffamily life) I got a bad ass MAC lap top. She ssaid she has been half assing gifts to me for years (True) I totally forgot what I got her lol
[This message edited by IGaveItMyAll at 7:06 PM, December 19th (Thursday)]
M 6 Yrs
Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 38141
| Posted: 7:08 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013|
Last year I was told no contact had been maintained - I got him a picture of the airplane he flies - framed and matted. He gave me a really nice massage package. I thought it was odd since it is totally NOT his style. Little did I know....
This Christmas? So far I have picked up a dark chocolate bar for his stocking -
We are working on reconcilliation but I am not planning to do anything big or touchy/feely for him. I'm just not there.
With that.... because I DO still monitor his email and credit card I know there have been two gift certificates purchased for a certain clothing store AND a pair of earrings purchased. Can ya'll guess what will happen should *I* not receive those things?
ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.
Posts: 435 | Registered: Jan 2013
|Topic Posts: 45|