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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Doing better every day ...
erzulie
♀ Member
Member # 3293
Content  Posted: 5:45 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

... haven't had a lot of time to check in, but wanted to share a quick update in the hopes that maybe it helps to inspire others - especially during this emotionally-laden time of year.

Just a recap - D-Day, and the day I asked him to find somewhere else to live, was September 5. I only agreed to see him/talk to him in front of a counselor - which we did, weekly, for over two months. November 29 was the last time I saw my WH; that was when I confronted him in front of the MFT about his continued deception, and he "came clean" with his past dalliances. I have not seen or talked to him since.

Since that time, I have done the following:

- Got an A in my Marketing class - the last class of this Semester (I have 3 classes left in the Spring before I graduate with my MBA)

- Started a training program for a half-marathon

- Cleaned my house top to bottom, including getting rid of a lot of old stuff that needed to be organized and donated

- Got my younger dog to his ideal weight and level of fitness (he had put on a few pounds the past few years)

- Nursed my older dog through a very involved dental surgery, which she is recovering from and doing very, very well

- Cashed in some points from my rewards credit card and got myself some new boots that I love

- Have been eating healthy and working out regularly, including my favorite, yoga

- Have spent a lot of time with my amazing family whom I adore

- Am planning a dinner party on Saturday night at my house, hostessing my group of close girlfriends to honor an annual holiday tradition of cheer and cocktails

- Am hostessing Christmas Eve dinner at my house for my mom's side of the family and my brother's girlfriend's family, who will be meeting for the first time

- Got hit on by a ridiculously sweet and handsome fireman (although I didn't really know how to respond - I don't know what the rules are quite yet - that said, my heart hasn't skipped a beat like that since I-don't-remember-when)

NC has been the best gift I have ever given myself. In a way, I feel like I've taken my broken heart right back from the person I had given it to - a person who never would have treated it with care. I feel good about my life, where I am at, and what the future will bring.

I hope that everyone here who is struggling with themselves, their self-worth, their lot in life, can find some comfort in these ideas and put them into practice for themselves.

Sending you all love this holiday, and always. I never would have been able to navigate the complicated waters of this situation without all of you. So, I owe you all tremendous thanks!!!!


A saying for my SI Family: "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all".

Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.


Posts: 3377 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: California
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOVE THIS!

NC is the best gift I've ever given myself too!

Happy Holidays Erzulie!


Posts: 1692 | Registered: Oct 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is a great update!

Happy holidays to you, erzulie!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome post and very happy for you!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4619 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25287 | Registered: Aug 2011
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the great update. You have made so much progress!


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Jan 2010
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like life is getting better!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1896 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:51 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! This is so inspiring!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9640 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So Happy to hear that you are doing well. You crossed my mind the other day when I was talking with a friend about her elderly dog.

I hope you continue to find happiness, and don't worry about men, once you find your own happiness, and your confidence comes back, they will be banging down your door to date you.

((((and strength, and Merry Christmas))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8453 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
GingerAle
♀ Member
Member # 33822
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome post, erzulie! I am so happy for you, and you should be so proud of yourself!!

wanted to share a quick update in the hopes that maybe it helps to inspire others

I am completely inspired, thank you so much


My WH (The KISA, NPD) 6 month EA in 2010
2 other EAs in 2012 & 2013
Filed for D 7/2014


Posts: 410 | Registered: Nov 2011
sleepless34
♀ Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome! You inspired me to post a similar update. Glad to hear you are doing better too.

The #1 best thing learned on this site is "the CRICKETS" that saved my ass from rounds and rounds of crazy making bullshit conversations that would have made smoke blow out my ears and my hair fall out.

I also love FTG...it is just so good. Fuck. That. Guy. That is my anthem right now...


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You rock, erzulie!!

Thanks for posting this. You are most definitely an inspiration!


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 810 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Topic Posts: 12

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