BTW I did meet a guy we did a few things together, he likes me a lot, but I am sure he is the right one for me and I am not ready to let him meet my kids yet.
I know next year this time things will be a lot better, but a year (365days) seems so longgggg.
I guess I will be sing " Blue Xmas" all alone, anyone care to join me?
My dad's birthday was 11/26, then came Thanksgiving, today would have been mom & dad's 65th anniversary, and next on the list is Christmas. I am so glad to have a good man in my life right now, but DAMN am I fighting depression issues! Plus, I need to keep on a happy face for mom, her dementia has progressed to the point that she doesn't deal well with me being upset about anything.
Spring cannot get here soon enough for me. I'm right there with you Blackhair. Hang tough! And, I'll try to do the same.
I always thought I'd have things smoothed out and figured out by this stage of my life. Ummm.....guess I was wrong.
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
No answers, just hugs !!
EL, I thought I'd have it figured out by now, too !
Spring is coming
"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"
Nowhere left to go but up!
I'd love to be with DS & DDIL, but the lack of time and the fact that they are leaving to visit her family on Christmas day makes that unviable.
I'm having an alone Christmas, but not blue. I really don't mind; I have to work Christmas Eve, probably until 10pm, maybe later. I plan to go to the movies on Christmas Day. I even bought myself a duck to cook for dinner--I love duck and haven't had it in years!
Treat yourselves well and kindly. Being alone does not have to be blue.
As tough as it is, just be patient and be kind to yourself by doing those little things (cup of coffee, finding a good book or seeing a movie). You will learn to find more self-worth every day.
"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
Maybe next year will be different.....maybe not....but either way....I'm gonna make the most of it!!! Enjoy this time with your kids....your ex is the one that is actually missing out on this much needed time with his kids....and down the road your children will remember who spent all of the holidays with them....and who didn't. You are a superstar....and don't you forget it! He will regret his choices one day....
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
For example, get a tree by myself? Sad? No. Rocked that heavybad boy all by myself . And the tree trimming guy was super nice at the lot. Trim the tree in a pitiful manner because of the new cat? Its funny because she keeps tearing parts and decorations off.
I keep busy improving my home, helping others and trying to be in the moment with friends. So for me, Christmas isnt as bad as I thought it might, and next year will be even better!
Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo
I still find myself feeling fine one moment, and totally sad the next.
Trying to figure out how to go to sleep on the morning of the 24th and not wake up until the 2nd.
That's going to be tricky, since I am not sleeping as it is...
It's not just the loneliness but the years of traditions with our families I will miss so much. Seeing the families new additions, my toddler niece and her sister that is 5 mos old. In fact I haven't seen her since she was born because XWH's family won't talk me and haven't since June. I have 5 older nieces 4 out of college and 1 in jr high, none will talk to me. 2 were in our wedding. Crickets.
I am thankful though for my BFF. We he gotten much closer and spend a lot of time together. I am making new friends. I had a Christmas party at my new house 2 weeks ago and met some of my neighbors. I really hate "starting over" at 53 years old.
DS thinks I should sign up for that OLD for farmers only. Lol. We lived on a ranch and I can pretty much operate any tractor, bale and rake hay and use a hay elevator to load hay. Raised chickens and butchered our own beef and pork. I could go on and on, those are the things I miss. Now I'm in town and have neighbors and have to pay for water.
The "time" factor of 2-5 years with dealing with infidelity is the same for starting over. Just more time.
Let's just say I am ready for the Holiday Season to be done with. It really does suck when you are "celebrating" them by yourself.
I really like your quote "Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.".
It is so true, anyway I managed to get a sitter and planned to go to a single dance party on New Year Eve, shaking off all the " blues".... -:)
I always love to dance have not done it since I met XWH, that is a long time.
Great to be single again and start to do things I like.
New Years this year has me a little down. For the first time in years I don't have any firm plans in place and it has me a little down. Many of my friends have couple plans going on, and my boyfriend has his kids for NYE, so not an option. I usually have various party options but hasn't come together this year. So it may just be me. But I need to remember that really, that is okay.
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
[This message edited by lifestoshort at 6:31 PM, December 23rd (Monday)]
[This message edited by k94ever at 6:21 PM, December 23rd (Monday)]