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Newest Member: Taddy (44905)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Home purchasing post D
gotmylifeback
♂ Member
Member # 32693
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yet another lingering problem that stems back to exwife's.

At her encouragement, we sold our home due to being upside down on the mortgage. I later found out that OM had a big influence on this. I think she wanted to discard the house so there would be less financial ties to me. So leaving the marriage would be that much easier. Maybe she was planning on moving in with the OM. Although i dont think his wife and kids would like that. But thats a story for another day. Right after it sold was when her A was fully revealed. No remorse and I filed for D. Due to the debt we had, we had no option but to file for bankruptcy. Which I eneded up paying for.

Fast forward and it has been about 2.5 years since the bankruptcy. I have a couple of small credit cards to help build up my credit. I have a small student loan but no other debt. so, looking at what kind of loan options might be out there, i learn the spousal support is considered a monthly debt. I mean i know it is a debt to me but it is also a tax deduction. So, my actual amount of expendable income is reduced by the support. Pisses me off. I pay on time every time and it does nothing to my credit score. Yet, it is viewed as strictly debt no matter that i have no other real expenses.

So, I look into manufactured housing options. I figured lower cost means ledown payment. Nope. Because I have had a bankruptcy they want anywhere from 20-40% down. WTF. They dont care what my income is or even what my debt is. They just want a big down payment.

So, I am just really angry that her A is still affectng my life. I was told to maybe buy a new car and be faithful on my payments to help my credit. But, I dont need a new car and I would rather put my money into somplace to live. Ugh, how bout if I buy a motorhome. Kill two birds with one stone.


Her-Unremorseful, Wayward ex wife
Me-No longer a betrayed husband

Happily remarried.

"You are what you do. A man is defined by his actions, not his memory." - Kuato in Total Recall


Posts: 597 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: between Oz and Wonderland
monarchwings
♀ Member
Member # 39891
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, December 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got..

I am so sorry for your circumstances. It sucks as that she walks away better financially when you were faithful.

I know its tough but if its any consolation, buying a house right now is generally tough. The mortgage underwriters are combing over everything with a fine tooth comb even with a solid job and strong credit. I hear it all the time. Even selling right now is hard, buyers behavior is different. My sister just experienced a nightmare this week (that is being sold due to divorce). The buyers tried to pull a title defect scam and tried to get 50k off the price of the house. She had to get another attorney involved to put them in their place.

2.5 years is not a long time after a bankruptcy. I think in two more you will get a more receptive response. You are getting yoyr life back. It just takes patience.


Posts: 95 | Registered: Jul 2013
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, December 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Perhaps a rent to own option might be a better option for you. Look for builders who have been stuck with vacant homes they need to sell. Sometimes they will offer that option.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5653 | Registered: Nov 2007
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, December 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As monarchwings said, 2.5 years after bankruptcy isn't long at all.

Why the rush to buy something? 20% down is pretty standard now, so it may make sense to live way below your means for a bit, save like crazy, and have a much larger downpayment. Every year that you show sound fiscal practices (like not buying a new car you don't need) should help.

You'll get there. Don't let her define what the rest of your life will be like!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3349 | Registered: Dec 2011
torn2bits
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, December 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got, I just want to say that I know where your coming from. Bankruptcy is on my list for 2014 infortunately because of the divorce debt.

I am easily able to pay for a mortgage by myself, but getting credit is a different story.

I just wanted to say that someone else understands the the feeling of wanting a home.

I owned an RV a while a go and saw many people on the road who were "full-timers" because it is an economical way to live. You can also drive your motorhome to the most beautiful places.
You don't have small children so its a nice way to live if you don't care about having a garage,etc.

Even still, you would need to get a loan for an RV, which may be easier than a house.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 5

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