Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: babygirl99 (44675)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I thought I was better than this..
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

neighbor's 70 year old husband died a couple weeks ago. I got her a sympathy card and hubby and I walked over with a plate of goodies to drop off. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to stay and talk with her. But I did. Hubby gave her a hug goodbye and she moved towards me for a hug but I apparently missed this.

I have maintained the last year that being with someone who is experiencing grief is an honorable thing. Someone who is grieving is close to God, their soul is being opened up and their anguish is something the rest of us should be present for. I was not. Why? Because the conflict avoidance ugly beast inside me raised it's ugly head.

I'm so disappointed in myself. I thought my values were screwed on straight and tight and they're not. If I just would have talked to myself before we went. I think i have it all figured out but I still need work.

Thanks for listening. I know it doesn't have anything to do with infidelity but owning being uncomfortable and doing the tough but right thing does...

[This message edited by rachelc at 8:42 AM, December 23rd (Monday)]


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4729 | Registered: Dec 2010
knightsbff
♀ Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Rachelc)))

You are still working on it.

You're looking at your thoughts, feelings, and actions and examining them. This is really good stuff.

You know what? A couple weeks from now when things have quieted down since the funeral your neighbor is going to be incredibly lonely. People will be back to normal and her life will never be "normal" again.

What's stopping you from popping over to say hi and asking her how she's doing? I bet it would be good for you too.


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1407 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

knights - great idea and I'll do this.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4729 | Registered: Dec 2010
SlowUptake
♂ Member
Member # 40484
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I second knightsbff's thoughts and will add.

You come across a lot of people in this world who are great at the initial 'grand gesture' of kindness, but that's about it.

Then there are a few who are kind & caring over the long haul when nobody is watching.

What type of person do you want to be?

Just something to ponder. YMMV.


Me:WS,50+
Her:BS,50+ (WantToWakeUp)
Married 33yrs
Dday Dec 2009

"Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few." Pythagoras

There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.


Posts: 382 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Limbo in Oz
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: Wayward Side Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.