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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I hate it when your child makes an
stunnedin12
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

innocent comment and your wh looks at you knowing full well you're about to come unhinged because of the affair memories.

hate it, hate it, hate it.

We're not even anywhere that we can take a quick 10 minute walk for re-grouping. There's a great big ole' elephant in the room now.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 378 | Registered: Jan 2013
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((stunned)))




Posts: 30706 | Registered: Mar 2011
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there something he can do for you besides look at you? I know the feeling - it's like, what, are you waiting for me to react?

If touch or a hug would calm you, maybe ask him to give your hand a squeeze the next time he acknowledges such a thing? That way he's not adding his helplessness to yours?

(((stunnedin12)))


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14709 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((stunned))))) I hear you. I hate it when that happens with a line in a movie, or a comment someone that has no idea makes.

It's awkward, and that look is almost like they aren't sure if you're going to start throwing things or let it go. So awful.


Don't water the plants - they're plastic

Posts: 1264 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Frustrated  Posted: 7:57 PM, December 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We took a long drive today... And the kids were talking... One of my DS15's friends is cheating on his girlfriend,and my son was complaining about it, and DD12 said, "i'm gonna marry someone like Daddy. he'd never cheat on mommy." I wanted to die. Choking back tears while driving in the middle of no where, while WH is home 4 hours away, alone with his computer... First driving trigger... Thank goodness it was dark.

Usually when stuff like that happens WH will grab my hand and squeeze. We both triggered like crazy during Catching Fire. I'm still not happy with the love triangle... Wasn't a fan in the book, either. Now it just makes me want to throw up.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 8:03 PM, December 23rd (Monday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA (tt, uncovering much more) d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 (full confession)"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah

Posts: 1986 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
stunnedin12
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the helpful ideas. We finally had a chance to talk today.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 378 | Registered: Jan 2013
inshockandhurt
♀ Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((stunned)))

I know how you are feeling; it was a couple months ago so I am over it now but in my case my sweet little three old knew and really liked the OW, so he occasionally asks me where she is... it really sucks. On one occasion a few months back DS said to me, "Mommy, can you be OW? I want you to be OW." I immediately burst into tears; I know he didn't really understand and didn't really mean it but it was devastating nonetheless. Did your WH comfort you past the trigger at least?


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past." - I am working on it, but for some reason I frequently find my


Posts: 250 | Registered: Mar 2013
creativecat
♀ Member
Member # 41728
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, January 1st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

inshockandhurt...and steadfast...so so so hear those stories. Mine are more like painfulpast mentioned--lines in movies, love songs, greeting card sentiments.

My WH was moving something out of the garage the other day and I offered help. He replies, "No, I can do it by myself." (years of cyber affairs/porn/self-gratification...um, yeah, I'm sure you can, sweetheart). Even the most innocent/natural of responses just makes me shake my head nowadays. Everything seems like a double entendre for sex and triggers something. Oy.


Posts: 86 | Registered: Dec 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, January 2nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Creativecat))) i get those sarcastic responses in my head, too. Exaclty like that.

You know, TV and movies are killing me, lately. Too much adultery, unhealthy boundaries, and hookers. We've had to turn several movies off because of triggers. And the sex is graphic. I mean, I am getting really bored watching FWH play video games all the time, but I'd rather that than these movies getting him back on porn...


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA (tt, uncovering much more) d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 (full confession)"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah

Posts: 1986 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 9

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