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Newest Member: SadnAlone (44234)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: It does get better.
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I moved out of my marital home on December 23, 2005. It pretty much ruined Christmas for me for years, not just that first one.

I was more or less single for the following 7 years. I dated a bit off and on, but never was in a serious LTR. And I resented/hated being single for at least HALF of that time. Especially at the holidays, being around my family, most of whom are married and me being the lone divorcee. Ugh...

So I know how much the holidays can suck when you are hurting. And I want you all to know IT DOES GET BETTER. I also want to tell you it doesn't necessarily get better because you meet someone else. I learned a lot in my almost a decade of single life, the biggest lesson being to LOVE LIFE NO MATTER WHAT MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS.

Take the reins on your holidays this year. Invent new traditions. Do things that give you joy. Spend time with people you enjoy being around and try to minimize time with the ones who don't. (maybe drink a toast to not being with your awful inlaws this year, if that's your situation)

But most of all remember that even though some years the holidays may suck, it won't be every year. It will get better. *hugs*


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49446 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thanks for sharing this!


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 424 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
hurting2much
♀ Member
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for this post...came right at a time when I needed to hear that things will get better!!


Divorced

Posts: 1099 | Registered: Sep 2009
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Content  Posted: 1:49 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No doubt the holidays have gotten a whole better since the first one after D day


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12122 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really like this post. Merry Christmas, CuteKitty!


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 385 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Rainbows
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for sharing. This is my first Xmas since dday and it's harder than expected. It's nice to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 388 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To all my friends IRL I am the poster girl for positivity.

But ya know something? I just don't see it happening for me. I'm pushing 56 years old. I have TONS of good stuff going for me but I'm just not seeing me meeting anyone and forming a permanent relationship. I live in the middle of nowhere and the men around here.....

DCK...thanks for sharing but I just don't feel that way.

I'm trying to come to peace with the fact that in all likelihood I'm single for the rest of my days.

(sigh) Not a bad thing, but not what I wanted.

Merry Christmas everyone.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6451 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also needed to hear this. I've been so depressed today and had to paste a fake smile on my face for the kids. I have no family here, do it was just the three of us today.

I will say though, that we ran to get batteries tonight and I drove past a car with a couple that was engaged in an intense screaming match. I was happy to say that I'd rather be single than be in a relationship like that!

[This message edited by newlysingle at 11:07 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)]


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 809 | Registered: Mar 2013
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so happy to hear that you are in a good place. I remember some of your older posts and the struggles you shared. Thanks for the positive post and update!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15097 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
ray-ray
♂ Member
Member # 29940
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this post!


Lazy river road

Posts: 715 | Registered: Oct 2010
sheila0304
Member
Member # 25041
Default  Posted: 7:01 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so happy for you kitty. And thanks for being a light.

Posts: 1170 | Registered: Aug 2009
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post! Thank you!!


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Topic Posts: 13

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