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Newest Member: Phoenix2rise (45723)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: She still believes he is her "Twin Flame"
kalimata
♂ Member
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Felco: so sorry to hear about the breakdown my man.

I feel for you. You are hurting. The twin flames thing is a piece of crap. I've read Weiss and he makes no connection to past lives, reincarnation and/or this twin flame nonsense.

Your WW is GONE. She is psychotic and has completely lost it.

Let her go
Let her go
Let her go
Let her go

Come to peace with yourself. You will get through this. I promise


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She isn't coming back. Nothing you do/did, do not/didn't do will change that. Now focus on you your well being and happiness. Get to a place where you are content and happy with who you are. It's Ok to grieve this loss. It's ok to fall in a heap and boo hoo. Just do it in private and then pull yourself up and do something nice for you.

You deserve more. You will have more. Be strong and embrace the fact that you have a fresh start and a chance to have a long life ahead where you will be able to demand the respect and love you deserve.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8789 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry Felco. Don't beat yourself up because you had a moment of weakness.

Betrayal Sucks.

Please, for you own sake, don't do that again. Because even though in the heat of the moment you allow yourself to 'go there'. The aftermath is you feel even worse. Try to stay Stoic man.

Vent and rant to us. We actually care about you. Don't waste your energy and feelings for your WW. She could care less. Drop her.

Take care.
GTH


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1144 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I completely lost it yesterday. I am feeling very overwhelmed. House is up for sale, she moved out, things are just happening so fast.
I did all the things that I should have not done.
I cried for the first time in last 2 months, thus acted weak.
I groveled, begged, pleaded, questioned, etc.

So sorry, Felco. So did I. All of it. Over and over. For almost a year. And when I thought I'd found my strength and my outrage, guess what? I found myself doing it again. Your behavior is normal: your life, your dreams, your expectations, your assumptions about love, trust, everything; all have been shattered. You have been abandoned by the one person whom we never dreamed would abandon us.

This touches the very deepest core of our survival instinct. We have the same brain as we did thousands and thousands of years ago, when abandonment meant death. Your more primordial brain does not know the difference between your tribe leaving you in the snow to die and your wife leaving you for another man. The pain is deep; you feel like you're dying, and a long time ago you may very well might have.

Keeping this perspective in view has helped me understand that this is not my fault. There are deep bio-chemical forces at work that are "doing their thing." I don't mean to sound dispassionate about it. Just because what you are experiencing is "natural," doesn't make it hurt less. But our brain is also strong and resilient--and logical. Those men and women left behind in the snow? Some were devoured. But you have a defense, a might weapon to combat the deep despair in your heart (which of course is really your mind): you have dignity, goodness, toughness.

I was there and on many days I still am. But it has gotten easier. Time, Felco, time. Stay strong. Fall down in the snow? OK, let yourself lie there for awhile, understand what has happened, what is happening. Let yourself feel the agony. Then, goddammit, find your righteous anger--even if you have to "pretend"--get up, and limp forward on the trail. At some point you will realize you are no longer limping but walking. And some day you will be sprinting, as so many here are.

See you at the finish line, Felco. You can and you will get through this. :-)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1677 | Registered: Dec 2012
happyman64
♂ Member
Member # 33212
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Felco

For gods sake stop crying.

Go find a woman that loves you.

Your STBX's twin flame fantasy is burning out right in front of her.

Let her deal with her nonsense like she deserves.

Alone.

You have the rest of your life waiting for you.

Move on and let her go.

HM'


Posts: 970 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New York
Felco
♂ Member
Member # 41675
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here I am one week after my emotional breakdown. . It took about two days but it all settled in and became a break through. I think that was my last and final attempt at trying and pouring out my heart.
I still get flashes of emotion but it passes much quicker and with less power. My sleep is getting better, I wake up in the early morning hours and fall in and out of sleep.
To be honest, I still have a hard to wrapping my head around this whole situation. I know I can't make sense out of nonsense!!
I can't wait for the house to sell and I will no longer have these triggers inside the house.

I thank everyone for being there for me through out this process.
I know you all told me things that I should and should not do, I listen to some but fell on others.
I am walking away from this situation knowing that I did all I could for my family.

Thanks again

Talk to you all soon


Posts: 131 | Registered: Dec 2013
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Felco)))))

You certainly did everything you could. Be proud and forgive yourself any mistakes, they were made out of love.

Tomorrow is a brighter day. Here's to your future.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Infidelity sucks and none of us as BSs asked for it. It doesn't matter which road you end up on R or D. They are both hard, but know this and believe this. You will grow, become stronger, and smarter, you will be a better man a year from now. Accept the things you cannot change and be a rock star when it comes to changin the things you can.

You are a good man an deserve much happiness. Take the time to heal and learn who you are. Be happy with that before you enter into another relationship.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8789 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hugs))))

Things will get better Felco. Don't you spend a second worrying about advice here. You did what you needed to do for you, and you did the very best you could.

We're all still here if you want to vent, yell, or just say hello and let us know how you're doing.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Felco
♂ Member
Member # 41675
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks you!!!

Posts: 131 | Registered: Dec 2013
Hosea
♂ Member
Member # 42422
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Felco:

I've followed this thread with a heavy heart. I feel for you, man. Your grief is great.

It is healthy for you to be free of this woman. A woman this selfish and cold is not worthy of your love, even if you feel powerless to let go of the good memories.

Don't hope that things will somehow be restored, but don't doubt, over time, that your Wayward Wife might change.

The "Twin Flame" thing is so corny and stupid I can't help but laugh every time I picture someone believe it. But people like to buy into Romantic Mythology if they lack a deeper sense of Values.

The God of Romance burns hot. But he does not burn long. And the chances are, in the fullness of time, she will she that when He burns out, she is left longing for some new, better flame.

Her "Identical Twin Flame!" Her "Siamese Twin Flame!" Blah, blah.

Perhaps, after she burns through a Log or two, she'll even start mourning that she did not fully value what the God of Love had given her in your marriage. A quiet fire that can burn for a lifetime. One that keeps your warm your whole life, if you feed it and protect it.

Here is a post that may be an encouragement of sorts.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/66063-before-you-decide-leave-read-my-story.html

A lament, from a woman who had much, thought she found better, grabbed it, then watched reveal its true nature- and leave her.

The odds of your Wife's new Affair Romance (Marriage?) lasting are quite grim. But you know better now what to look for in a woman. When you're ready, when you've grieved your loss and made with it, you can begin the search. A stronger man finding a better future with a truer woman.


John 8:10-11: "Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Did they not condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”


Posts: 106 | Registered: Feb 2014
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, March 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am walking away from this situation knowing that I did all I could for my family.

Good for you, Felco. (But so painful, I know.) This is just what I had to tell myself (and still do) when with heavy heart I filed for divorce. We hung in there for a long time and endured more pain than anyone should. But for all the right reasons.

Routing for you, Felco.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1677 | Registered: Dec 2012
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, March 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So Glad you checked in and are Grinning!

(((((Felco and kiddos)))))


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1144 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 5:25 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How are you doing, Felco?


You can't fix crazy. All you can do is document it

Posts: 737 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Tfosm
♀ New Member
Member # 44004
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I feel your exact pain. I am going thru the exact same thing, except in my case someone intervened and told her that there is no furture and no basis for this twin flame connection.
She hss dropped the idea completely, and now its healing time and maybe we get back together in the future, but i am relieved to know that the twin flame bullshit has been dropped.
I can talk to you, if you want. I have gone thru the same sleepless nights, waking up at 3, 4, 5 in the mornings..in shock and disbelief..i have got the same cold shoulder and eveyrthing is normal attitude..and i have seen the delusion in her eyes ..
Felco, hope you are doing fine! You are in my prayers..hope you get bavk the love that you chetish so much!

Posts: 1 | Registered: Jul 2014
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