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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I'm here for you all ........
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Content  Posted: 9:48 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember my first Christmas here on the boards and it was scary, and oh so lonely. Just a note to know your not alone and someone is thinking of you all tonight, tomorrow and as you start the new year.

(((Hugs to you all)))


I am fiercely independent and I wonít apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18753 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
swizzlestick03
♀ Member
Member # 30102
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too! That first Christmas JFO was horrible! Even though it doesn't seem like it right now, you will not only survive this horrific mess, you will thrive! It really will be ok--and you will be ok too!

Thinking of us all tonight struggling with the monster that is infidelity. May you all know you are loved and cared about tonight, from our home to yours.


Me: BW-32
Him: WS-31
D-Day #1: 16 August 2010
D-Day #2: 16 January 2011
One small kiddo.

Posts: 562 | Registered: Nov 2010
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) Last year was my 1st year. I remember how strange it was. I'm glad to be here for y-all.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4727 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because, well, simply Minions are awesome

[This message edited by booger bear at 10:10 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)]


I am fiercely independent and I wonít apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18753 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great thread, BB.

This is my third Christmas after DDay, and it gets better every year. You'll get through this, and you're not alone.

Sending the JFO folk positive thoughts and strength to get through the holidays.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3575 | Registered: Oct 2011
mandan66
♂ Member
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BIG thanks to all of you!!!
I am sitting here right now stuggling; and I thought earlier in the day I was going to be fine---wrong!!!
My first alone (the X has the kids) ever in my life, I think. It is hard, and really strange when I think about it.


Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep over 2 years out from Dday, the kids are with STBXWW tonight. Santa has already been to my house so thinking of others on SI as well. Holidays do get better with time.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official any day now, off to check the mail again.

Posts: 1899 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dan)))

I really just cannot imagine having to share children. It is a bitter pill for me to swallow but I am thankful Xh and I have no children. I really don't think I could do it. Those of you who do have my immense respect and awe ... So many of you carry it off W/O problem, one that the kids can see. Breaks my heart when you all come here to vent/sad.

I wish for you strength and peace this Holiday. I wish I could do more ....


I am fiercely independent and I wonít apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18753 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Booger Bear


It is hard, but coming here makes it ever so much easier.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2651 | Registered: Jan 2010
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Merry Christmas, BB! You are dear to me and so sweet to post this message. I will find and bump the hugs thread and you can put one of your great hugs pics there.

Hang in there all. This Christmas may be hard, but there are possibilities ahead that are worth getting to.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5776 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are on our 7th Christmas after dday

Does that make me old?

I remember the first, I hadn't found SI and navigated through blindly. We hadn't decided to R yet and I spent most of the holidays covered in snot, tears and booger bubbles.

It gets better, don't try to make it special right now, just get through it. Enjoy the kids.

Take it slow and know we are all here knowing your pain and walking along side you.

(((hugs))) to everyone.

[This message edited by karmahappens at 5:47 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]


ďAnd the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossomĒ
AnaÔs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Alex CR
♀ Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is our fourth Xmas since Dday....... I don't remember much about the first. Was in a state of shock.

But it does get better......

Be good to yourselves....hugs to everyone......


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1671 | Registered: Mar 2010
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm here too friends. It's my first Christmas "alone" but I'm not alone thanks to SI. Peace and strength to you all.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 734 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too! Lots of us old farts around to help. That first year sucked. You can make it though, focus on kids and yourself. I would go to the bathroom to have my breakdown and then lock back in on DS.
You can do this!
Peace to all.
LHAP?


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1889 | Registered: Nov 2010
20Hopeful16
♀ Member
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all. It does suck. WH came over and opened gifts with the kids. Then he left to go back to the whore. I just feel so lonely. I know I have my kids, and soon my parents and other family, but I miss my husband. Not my WH, the good one that I had for the first 16 Christmases we spent together.


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((20hopeful16))) Try to enjoy your children and your family today. Your true family who love YOU and choose YOU.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4727 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my 6th Christmas alone since my D. I'll be seeing my family in a bit, which will be good.

But this evening, I'll be alone at home again.

Thank god for work tomorrow.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7565 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my 2nd. I too so sympathize with those of you with young children. But I truly believe that this time of the year is when those WS's really start to see the ramifications of their actions and finally a little bit of that hurt comes home to roost when they see they no longer have 24/7 access to their children, which we as the BS's figured this out at the onset. You will make your new family traditions and they will be
be good because of the great parents you all showed yourselves to be thru this.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 314 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
Betteroffnow
♀ New Member
Member # 41776
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for this. As I sit here in our home, 6 months pregnant while my toddler naps, I hate that my cheating husband is on his way to pick him up. This was supposed to me my first really great Christmas with our boy. He finally gets it! The excitement, the happiness, the family time. And two months ago it was all taken from me. Snatched from under my feet before I ever got my first perfect Christmas as a mom. And now, with a divorce in the future, I will never get that perfect Christmas. It eats me up inside.

Posts: 2 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Maryland
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a child of D parents I can say you do not need both parents to have that perfect Christmas. Granted my parents D was very amicable, when we went to my dad's for a holiday we were there from start to finish, they didn't split 1/2 day here/there.

Then we got old enough to choose. Soon sports and friends made a difference where we were.

Point is my mom always made it a point to make it feel like the holiday no matter what holiday it was, whether we celebrated it early or late. We made our own traditions and it always felt special.

So many hugs to you all ....


I am fiercely independent and I wonít apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18753 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
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