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User Topic: How many have cried today?
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a nice Christmas eve with my family. Now back home, and tears are flowing.

Will I ever be ready for a new relationship one day?

I feel ruined sometimes.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cried several times today, and in fact have tears in my eyes right now. Tomorrow is going to be hard.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9852 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
MairISaoirse
♀ Member
Member # 41497
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cried today, its our anniversary.


Mad Hatter

Me: 21
Him: 21
Together 2 years
my ONS->1 mo EA abroad

after D-Day BF admitted he had broken NC with EXGF (EA)
D-DAY 11/21/13

In Limbo


Posts: 114 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Kentucky
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday would have been our 18th anniversary.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
meplusfour
♀ Member
Member # 38958
Sad  Posted: 12:05 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm crying tonight too. We attended Mass tonight-a beautiful service with music and a touching message. FWH is trying, really trying to make this Christmas special. My children were excited and happy. Dinner was fun, with laughter and merriment. Yet, at the fringes of my mind is the thought of the A, what fWH was doing at this time last year. I feel oddly detached, enjoying the moments but apart. Everyone has now gone to sleep and I am awake and sad. Part of me wishes that I could go back and be happy in my ignorance but the wiser rational side of me knows that although the truth is devastating, it is my reality.

Spelljean, I hope and pray for us, and everyone here at SI, a brighter future. We are worthy of a healthy relationship, we deserve love and respect and we will not settle for anything less.

Merry Christmas.

[This message edited by meplusfour at 12:06 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 388 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
NowWhat106
♀ Member
Member # 35497
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been crying or on the verge most of the day. Does this ever get easier?

Hugs to all of us!


Me BS
Him WS
LTEA with old HS GF from 25+ years ago
DD #1: 10/6/2011
DD #2: 10/21/2011
2DS under18
Status: We'll see.

Posts: 303 | Registered: May 2012
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:08 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Spelljean))) (((everyone)))

I've felt that way. Please remember that while we were hurt (major understatement) by infidelity, it doesn't define us. It doesn't take away all of your wonderful qualities, that someone out there will fall in love with. I think one day you will be ready for a new relationship. Only you will know when the time is right. Until then, I'm sending you strength, hope, and wishes for a brighter 2014.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 12:09 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 36031 | Registered: Mar 2011
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep.... Cried. Dammit


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm spending Christmas alone, at a hotel for the first time ever.

Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to my 9 year old. That happened around 6pm. Check out the story on the Divorce forum if you need to.

I cried. And cried. And continued crying. I think I cried myself to sleep at around 3am. Woke up, cried some more.

I should be crying, but I'm feeling oddly the strongest post D-Day. Now I have plans, I'm looking at furniture online for my new place. I am feeling that I'm on my own for the first time, as my sig says, Master of my Fate, and Captain of my Soul.

It could just be that I'm all cried out for now. Or it could be the buzz of finally being on my own, nobody to really answer to, no more WW breathing down my neck slowing my recovery.

I set some clear boundaries. I'm going to see my kids on the 26th, at a specific hour. I'll be there one hour. I'll see everyone and give my children and my in-laws a big hug. I expect no food to be prepared for me, as I'm not going to eat there. I made business appointments both before and after, so I have hard stops, and distractions force me to not cry before or after. We'll see what happens the night of the 26th.

It's harsh, it's sad for my kids, and I'll likely be nicer next Christmas, but right now I truly need the NC and the boundaries. I can feel myself moving forward, don't want to slow down healing momentum. As jo2love says, I refuse to let it define me.

2014 will be better. Yours and mine. Definitely.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
BeautifulEmpty
♀ Member
Member # 38763
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a massive panic attack this morning..full of tears, hyperventilation and vomiting (my specialty).
I did eventually get a grip...thank god no one was around to witness that mess except my poor mom, who I don't think has ever seen me going at full bore. She didn't know what to do but she was very sweet and understanding.
Bleh. I think it's slowly getting better.


Me: 42 BS
Him: 38 ws
Ow: 44 head case, no obs
5 DD's: 21, 18, 17, 15, 10
Last D-day: August 2012 with lots of very blurry lines.

Posts: 264 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington State
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there everyone.

It does get better and, even though it might not seem like it right now, we will all get through tonight and tomorrow.

Cry if you need to, yell if you want to, just keep going.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1756 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I know it will get better. It has been so good lately.

Dang Christmas.

Felt a bit better after the cry. I know for many of us though, tears seem to bring on even more tears.

Thank you to SI. I was never steered in the wrong direction here..... everything the seasoned members told me would happen....did. Everything they said WH was up to...he absolutely was. Every time someone here made a prediction
of WHs next move....sure enough, he did it.

Basically without the people on these forums, I would have been been no doubt going back for more, and more torment.

So, I see the tears as healing and healthy and normal.

But....dang Christmas.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been in the verge of tears all day long. The only thing that kept the tears in was having to out on a happy face for my kids.

It's just nice to know that I'm not alone. I hope 2014 us a much better year for all of us.


BW - Me (38)
XWH -The Gnat
OW - Hello Kitty the Whore Engaged to the Gnat. I hear the white trash, wedding bells as we speak.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (7), 1 DS (2)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 934 | Registered: Mar 2013
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 1:01 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is hard to maintain when everyone around you is full of good cheer, busy with social events and living the life we once thought we had. Meanwhile, we feel like we have a huge hole where our hearts used to be and feel robbed of what our lives should have been.

Christmas(and New Year's and Easter and Fourth of July and Opening Day and Tuesday) end up hurting.

The good news is that I had a pretty good day last Tuesday and I am looking forward to more good Tuesdays in the future.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1756 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
fadedrainbow
♀ Member
Member # 9280
Default  Posted: 1:26 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been crying on and off for a few days. I am an old timer, my DD was in 2005 and been divorced 4 years now. I miss my family unit,my family is across the pond, luckily my grown daughters are with me for Christmas. I have accepted that grief just grabs me sometimes and it is ok to cry and mourn. I've had losses over the past few years, divorce being just one of many. By the Grace of God I just keep moving forward. I have gained compassion, courage, and a whole new world has opened to me. I wish the same for all of you. FR


me: FBW
D-Day May 2005
divorced December 2009


Posts: 136 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: UK
hangingonin
♀ Member
Member # 29530
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been in tears on & off for the past few days. My son is home from Uni & I am trying to maintain a brave face for him.
We are having a strange Christmas this year. We are going to have lunch at a pub. I thought as this will be our first Christmas on our own, it should be different.
Hoping that 2014 will be better than this one. Here's to the New. Year everyone

Posts: 77 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: SE England, UK
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 4:38 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

me.
He called me, "silly." That's what she called him all the time. I told him about the trigger. Also, I saw a picture of him in social media, he took a co-worker woman to a service organization. They just met there but he never said anything. I know I should just let things like this go but I don't. And now he thinks I'm spying on him.

He's withdrawn and won't say anything. My co-dependent self needs to detach again. We play these effing games all the time. I'm tired of it. Although I understand his hurt. When will it be enough already?


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5322 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Locked
♀ New Member
Member # 41677
Default  Posted: 4:41 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I cried too so want holiday season to be over and get back so normality.

In limbo


Posts: 10 | Registered: Dec 2013
whiteflower99
♀ Member
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 5:05 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too.
Roller coaster driven by Hades lately.
Happy Holidays everyone


What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel


Posts: 1753 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
Lola7
♀ Member
Member # 41195
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did this morning too, but not as bad as have in the past. I've just accepted that Christmas will hurt this year, but then it will be over and I'll be ok.

I'm looking forward to New Year's Eve and I can tell 2013 to fuck off.


caelitus mihi vires
"My strength is from heaven"
DIVORCED!

Posts: 211 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 44
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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