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User Topic: How many have cried today?
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have cried so much and for so long, I now have a dry cry, I am out of tears.

Just the crippling pain.

But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. Kicked h

Posts: 621 | Registered: Mar 2003
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been crying on and off all week. The holidays are hard. We are bombarded with pictures in magazines, commercials on TV, Christmas movies or loving families on Christmas. We get triggered with FOO issues from our past. Now, our memories of Christmases with our WS are tainted because of the A. It's not only Christmas present, but Christmas past and future that seem to be forever changed.

It's normal to feel this way.

The only thing we can do is try to stay in the moment and enjoy the company of the loved ones we are with right now. It's difficult, because triggers are all over. Know you are loved by family and friends. Try to remember a GOOD Christmas memory or tradition and make new ones.

Posts: 1947 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25842 | Registered: Aug 2011
♂ Member
Member # 11536
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had a mostly numb and sleepless night. No tears yet, the sting and out of body feeling keep them at bay

You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground and I won't back down

Posts: 1578 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: New York
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cry at some point everyday. Sometimes they are happy sometimes they are sad.

Not yet today but it's still early.

Hugs and prayers for everyone!!!

BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still cry at the drop of a hat, seeing a photo, hearing a story, etc. But now it's not for my M, it's for my parents. I lost Dad last year to Alzheimer's. Mom's been gone for 13 years now, and I miss her more than ever each year. I miss my parents and I miss the life I had with them when I was younger.

Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1876 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well last night ended up not too bad. Yes So many triggers yesterday and the days leading up. I was getting in a morning run and afterwards I do some stretches and an work on the bench. I think inlaid there for an hour crying. I texted fWH that I was upset and triggering. He tried to console. Then I realized I need to get started on the roast and pick up some things at the grocery store. I had cried the day before since I was shopping and triggered thinking how he showed the OW his iPad. How me talked to her Christmas Eve. But he picked up around the house tried to help me get ready for family coming over. Overall we had a good night.
Merry Christmas to all.

Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still cry every day! Just not always outwardedly with tears. My heart will always cry now for this great loss and horrible betrayal.

Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 337 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
♀ Member
Member # 25463
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've felt that way. Please remember that while we were hurt (major understatement) by infidelity, it doesn't define us. It doesn't take away all of your wonderful qualities, that someone out there will fall in love with. I think one day you will be ready for a new relationship. Only you will know when the time is right. Until then, I'm sending you strength, hope, and wishes for a brighter 2014.

If there was a LOVE button, I would press it ten times.

I remember the first christmas after Dday and impending separation. EXWH had the boys, so I travelled to the states to visit my family there. After I went up to my room at my sister's house, the tears would not stop flowing. It was absolutely the worst pain I've ever experienced. I felt so utterly alone.

There with me, was God though.

Life is so much better now, I can't even begin to explain.

Posts: 1116 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Europe
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, in the shower.

Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.

Posts: 1532 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
♀ Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been crying off and on all day, along with DGD.
She is upset that I couldn't afford a better gifting experience for her.
I suck.

Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cried on and off all day yesterday, my first Christmas Eve without seeing my kids.
I thought last night I would literally die of a broken heart.
Today a bit better, my 3 adult children came for brunch and surprised me with a new computer. I had an IPAD and really didn't like it. I sobbed like a baby after I opened it and now I am totally spent.
Wishing you all happier tomorrows. :0)

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
♀ Member
Member # 41608
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've lost track of how many times I've cried today. I will be so glad to put the holidays behind me. I don't think I can bear many more commercials showing blissfully happy families, or running into all the cheerful people around town with their well-meaning questions and Christmas wishes. I hate feeling like this. I want my life back, but it's not going to happen, so I want to fast forward through this nightmare!

Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
Status: Separated and planning D

Nowhere left to go but up!

Posts: 108 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well considering we just had this huge talk where I cried through most of it add me to the list. I found out new info, loving someone else is not an A and he could have been friends and been in love with OW because he would not have crossed any boundaries.

Me: you don't think loving someone else is crossing a boundary.

Him: no I could have had a platonic friendship with her while being in love with her.

Me: that's impossible you already loved her a boundary was already crossed.

Him: I disagree.

Me: why because you would have never gotten physical?

Him: yes I would not have crossed lines.

Me: but you already did how do you not see that?

Add tears throughout all of that and tears as I type this about my actions and we have the worst Christmas day ever. Sorry if I t/j'd just having a horrible day.

Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."

Posts: 2767 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I hope the tears have been cleansing and recuperative for you, and rejuvenating, they usually feel that way to me, quite calming eventually.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5131 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
♀ Member
Member # 39707
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, this morning.
Somehow, the family get together last night was not so bad...even somewhat fun. Although alcohol was involved and the kids and their cousins were very entertaining so, that helped tremendously!
And my WH was very, very good last night and today when I did break down and that meant a whole lot to me.
He understood my somewhat non-loving Christmas card and has been the best he can all day today.
Pretty much still the worst Christmas ever but, I've made it through quite well I think.
the oldest girl is coming over shortly and I'm looking forward to her and her boyfriends company. They both know of the A and have been super supportive of both of us in our R.

I hope everyone can find even a small piece of happiness or solace today and always!!
Merry Christmas and God help us all :)

Me: BS
Him: doesn't matter anymore...or does it...

Being very, very careful

D-day 14 June 2013

I'm smart, good looking and gosh darn it, people like me!

Posts: 168 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: trying to figure it out
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night. Instead of going to my parents, I stayed home and cried. Talked to my mom on the phone, crying and dropping the 'f' bomb like it was my job. Usually very easy to not focus on XH, but not last night. My father suggested I drink a bottle of whiskey. Instead, cried some more & snuggled w/the critters.

Today is a different day, next year will be a different year. I can stay here & die here on the carcass of my dead XM, or I can keep walking away. All these tears wash out the bridge to the past & eventually there is no way back, as if it never existed in the first place.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 768 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
♀ Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep...cried this morning. I have to do some wedding stuff for his nephew's fiancée on Friday, and I really don't want to. WH is an expert with his smart phone, and although I think it's over, I will never be 100% sure. So this morning I realized that I am still doing things that I don't want to do, just like I always did when he was having his A, and I got angry. I had to do all the work while SHE got the very best of him. Why didn't he man up and just leave me for her?? I could be spending Friday doing things I want to do. So I cried.

I hate this for all of us!!

Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I held it together all day. Now I'm sitting on the bathroom floor crying uncontrollably. First time going to his dads house since Dday. He slept with OW2 for first time on Christmas last year. OW1 was his tango dance partner when he went to Argentina last year. Hanging above his dads kitchen today was an Argentina tango wall hanging with a picture of a couple tango dancing. Big trigger, but I kept a smile on my face. Got in car to go home later, and I shared it with him. He said I'm sorry. I told him I needed more, that I needed what and why he's sorry. He said that he couldn't do that on the spot. I lost my shit. Started screaming at him. Crying. Now I feel like I've ruined our Christmas. Like he's probably thinking about how last year having sex with her was so much better than my drama. I hurt. I feel sad. I feel broken. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my heart off. Stop feeling anything. I love him, but I hate feeling like this. Like the day being ruined is my fault. Like I'm not good enough. Right now sitting in this bathroom, I'd do anything to just make the pain stop.

30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1226 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did really good until now. Nothing bad happened, it's just the fact that WH is not doing what it takes to R. He puts in very little effort.
I doubted he would give me any gifts and I was right. Pre cheating he gave great gifts and I felt loved. It makes me cry to see a man who has been given the incredible gift of hope to save himself and our marriage and watch him basically throw it away. So sad.
I am quite sure I cried much less than last Christmas, so there is that.
I am tired of crying and too want to know when does this nightmare end?

Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
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