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User Topic: Did you really ask that?
kra127
Member
Member # 41045
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So WH is at our home today to spend Christmas with my kids. We have not lived together since the end of Oct so being in our home at the same time is uncomfortable for me but I do it with a smile just for my kids. Starting tomorrow, my family is coming into town and for some reason WH wants to be here. We started discussing plans for the kids for the next few days and when I told him it would be easier on me if he wasn't around he says "Is it that hard for you to be around me?" Um let me see, you hide several women "friends" from me for 2+ years (along with their nasty nude pics on your phone) and then you have unprotected sex with another nasty woman who gave you a STD in Sept and I'm supposed to be excited to have you around?? I told him he made this bed and now it's time to lay in it. I've been cordial because my kids are here and I plan to ignore him for the rest of today. It's the only thing that keeps me sane.


Me 40
WS 39
2 young kids, Married 10 yrs
OW 22, admitted to EA and then TT to PA two weeks later. Also, found out about several "friends".
Dday 10/8/13
Divorcing

Posts: 83 | Registered: Oct 2013
Eudaimonia
♀ Member
Member # 32445
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, hang in there girl. If you do not feel comfortable with him being there, he needs to respect your wishes. I would imagine it's hard enough for you having him there today!


So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Posts: 472 | Registered: Jun 2011
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Asshole. DUOAH! You do wonder, sometimes, if there are two brain-cells left to rub together.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4586 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope he still doesn't get it. Maybe that is exactly what you need to say to him too...You just don't get it. Life just does not go back to normal when one spouse does this to another.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just the facts ma'am. Tell him your boundaries and stick to them. You don't have to explain yourself.

He asked you about your "feelings," but he doesn't get to know those anymore.


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2005 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
loli
♀ New Member
Member # 41197
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there. My dday was three weeks after you so it's all still rather fresh for me, too.

But, agree with the others...he absolutely has to respect your wishes. Smartest thing I ever did was to make him move out and to keep contact with WH to an absolute bare minimum.

If that is what you need to keep you sane, then do it...no need to explain yourself to anyone, let alone the SOB.


Me 40
WH 41
14 years married
3 Kids (6,9,12)
DD Oct.28 '13
PA: 6 years!!!

Posts: 39 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Europe
Topic Posts: 6

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