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User Topic: Now what
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All of a sudden, my wife texts me and say's I'm sorry for hurting you and for disrespecting you?

Now what should I say? Does this mean fog is over?


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*crickets*

One text does not mean the fog has lifted. Maybe a dozen texts followed by some real actions could mean the fog has lifted. This one text seems like manipulation, mind games, and/or cake-eating.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3643 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It may. However you will have to watch and see if this was just a flood of guilt or a real step towards the realization of it.

She may just be to engage you to get some validation or to lull you into being less vigilant. Everything now has subtext. It is maddening.

Just text her back with, "Thank you for acknowledging that." I'll put my last dollar that she will text you back. If she does ask her to elaborate and ask her why now.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2537 | Registered: May 2010
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honey, the fog is only over after her "showing" not "talking".
crickets.
wait. just.wait.and.watch.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB

Posts: 2125 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It could mean she is starting to "get it."

Or maybe she is trying to manipulate you.

Words are just that..words. What do her actions tell you?

Is this the first time she has apologized? Is this the first time she has admitted how disrespectful she was towards you?


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7100 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..it is your call as to whether you want some communication with her or not.

..I personally would not want to discuss the matter via texting.. you can't see her facial expressions or guage her sincerity with a few text words passed between you.

..she needs to elaborate a helluva lot more but at least its a start. Only you know if her text is 'worth' anything of real value in the big scheme of things.

..is the fog over??? that's a tough one... hence... more discussion is needed with her.

take your time.. these things can't be given the 'quick fix'.. by anyone..period!!!!

good luck LS..

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4098 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She was acting weird today. She was buying me dinner and stuff and was just given me a whole bunch of compliments...

Could just be some type of trick or whatever but this is the first time she has said anything on those lines. She just started doing these marriage devotionals and communicating with me so, who knows.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are all probably right. I probably just got my hopes up all for nothing.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
GotMyLifeBck2013
♂ Member
Member # 40531
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keep doing the 180. The text is the first salvo. It gets much weirder.


I define me! I don't just survive, I thrive!!

Me: fBH 46
Her: exWW 42
DDay: Nov 1, 2012
Divorced: September 17, 2013


Posts: 289 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ohio
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is she still seeing OM? Do you still live together? Are you trying to R?


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2212 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GotMyLifeBck2013
I will continue... I will prepare myself.

steadfast1973
She is not seeing the OM. We are not living together now and I would like to Reconcile...but I am slowly going the opposite direction. She and my DD have been staying at her parents house for 2 months now...


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
BAMAC
♂ Member
Member # 39334
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LS,

How do you know she's not still seeing OM? Does she still work with him?


DDays - 1/26/2013 | 3/23/14
Divorced 7/10/2014

Posts: 81 | Registered: May 2013 | From: TX
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She doesn't work with Him, he's my relative and I confronted him secretly.

Now she keeps saying I am sweet man. She is being awfully nice to me. What should I think about all this?


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What in the world. Now she is telling me I am special person. Do WS go through this moment where they think they can smooth things over or something?


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
DixieD
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do WS go through this moment where they think they can smooth things over or something?

IMO, YES! Compliments and validation were so easy to give and receive in their affairs. It made unicorn la-la land soooo easy. It should be that easy to work on you too, right?

Wrong.

She doesn't realize yet how hard this is going to be.

Take care LS.


Growing forward

Posts: 1729 | Registered: Sep 2011
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What should I think about all this?
Nothing. Don't think anything at this point. At this she is just paying some compliments. Compliments to you are not owning her choices. It is not an expression of remorse. It is not an action aimed at R or rebuilding trust.

It's just words.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3643 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Topic Posts: 16

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