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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I hope to God that this is contempt of court
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBXH has changed the direct deposit for all of his accounts...none of his paychecks are being deposited into our joint account. I was under the impression that the preservation of assets portion of the pendente lite orders prevented him from doing this...I emailed my attny this morning to find out.

I am really hoping that all this shit that STBXH is pulling is going to make him look like a total ass in court...because we will be going to court. He is making me look better and better by the day...

(and for anyone who was wondering, I spoke with DD again this morning, she called because she is bored...but safe and sound and she will call again tonight)


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to believe he's shooting himself in the foot here. BTW - are you asking for him to cover your legal fees?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24754 | Registered: Aug 2011
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yea, that is a big no-no.

Give him enough rope lisaloo and he is going to hang himself with it. Keep giving that rope....


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3535 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really tend to agree that he is just hanging himself...and OF COURSE I am asking for him to cover my legal fees!

My bigger concern at the moment is that he is going to continue to try to pay bills with the joint account...i.e. MY measly paychecks. If he does that, I am going to be broke as soon as the mortgage gets paid.


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What did your orders say about household expenses and how they were to be covered? He may not be in violation, because preservation of assets means he cannot squander funds--it does not necessarily cover moving from one account to the other as long as he is covering the expenses he is required to cove.

However, doing this in the middle of a legal proceeding sends the judge quite the wrong message, even though he may be technically compliant.

I would subpoena the bank statements for his new accounts during discovery.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29567 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The temp orders say all of this:

7. Preservation of Assets: The parties are ordered and directed to preserve, in their present form and location, all assets owned by them either jointly or individually, and are ordered not to sell, assign, transfer, conceal, remove from the jurisdiction of the Court, or in any manner dispose of, liquidate, conceal, encumber, dissipate or convert any assets of the parties, or change beneficiaries upon any life insurance policies, or alter any medical, hospitalization, or automobile insurance policies, or in any way alter the current cash value of any life insurance policy. However, this Order shall not prohibit the use of earned income to pay reasonable and lawful debts and living expenses of the parties, nor prohibit the use of physical assets in the same manner as the same had been used in the ordinary and customary activities of the parties prior to the filing of the action for divorce.

8. Payment of Monthly Expenses: The parties shall coordinate the payment of necessary living expenses (food, clothes, school and extracurricular activity expenses, insurance, etc.) and fixed monthly expenses of both parties and their child(ren) (e.g. rent, mortgage payment, utilities, telephone, car loans, etc.). It is this Courtís intent that both parties share pro rata in the payment of said expenses in situations where both parties have income. Provided, however, that child support being paid pursuant to Paragraph 4 shall be deducted from the income of the paying party, and added to the receiving partyís income in making the pro rata calculation.

9. Negotiation of Other Conditions: The parties are encouraged to mutually agree, if possible, on any other reasonable terms and conditions which will maintain the partiesí status quo, pending a final hearing; provided, however, that this Court expects any such agreement, if contrary to the orders set forth above, to be in writing, executed by both parties, and submitted to this Court for approval.

So...I am hoping the whole "preservation of assets" and "maintaining the status quo" portions of this will prevent him from doing this...if not, I do KNOW that it will not look good to a judge that he is moving funds (and hiding funds as well, since I know that he got a bonus from work and I sure as shit havent seen it)


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not an attorney and there are others that have had MUCH more experience -- but I would say he is in contempt of item 7 at the minimum. Depending on what he does with paying the mortgage and other bills, he could put himself in contempt of item 8.

Pursue with your attorney.

This guy really likes giving you ammunition to use against him, doesn't he?

BTW -- glad you spoke with your daughter and she is safe. Did WH get back to his parent's home last night?


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
TrustedHer
♂ Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe that where he chooses to deposit his paychecks is not in itself going to be contempt.

But he has to comply with the payment of monthly expenses part, regardless where his paychecks go.

The parties shall coordinate the payment of necessary living expenses (food, clothes, school and extracurricular activity expenses, insurance, etc.) and fixed monthly expenses of both parties and their child(ren) (e.g. rent, mortgage payment, utilities, telephone, car loans, etc.).

What have YOU done about the coordination part?


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5134 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had been continuing to pay all the marital bills and doing our finances exactly the same way we had been doing them, up until right this second...What really gets me is that STBXH coordinated the transfer of gas and food money into his other account just like he always would have done...so essentially, since he didnt put any money in the joint account, he took MY paycheck money and transferred it to his account (he had a separate account that we put gas and lunch money into twice a month when we did our budget, so that he didnt have to keep up with what was in the primary account, and so that he could have fun money without having to have it budgeted for...I am absolutely curious as to how much money is in that account now!!). All the marital bills are paid out of our joint account...though at this point, I am not sure what I am supposed to do. I damn sure am not paying his bills...either way, I emailed my attny to ask.

[This message edited by lisaloo at 12:22 PM, December 27th (Friday)]


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
LisaP
♀ Member
Member # 15088
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to agree with TH.

My XH cut me off completely for 4 months through our joint account (direct deposit canceled), and blew through $30k in that time period. When it all came down to it, he got "reminded" with a slap on the hand that he could not squander the funds away. He covered all expenses (I was a SAHM) but didn't bother to hand over a dime for gas and food. Only when court orders came through for CS did I receive anything from him. He sold off personal property and again was "reminded" he could not do that. As far as the $30k...I never saw a penny of it because he claimed it was spent on necessary living expenses. The battle to get it back wasn't worth the cost...to me.

Work on 8 and 9. Personally, I would only use the joint account to pay expenses at this point. If you can each come to an agreement on an amount both is responsible for and deposit said amount into that joint account, then you can have control over making sure the bills are getting paid.

Yes he is being an ass, but I don't see that he is in contempt...yet.


Me BS

Divorced!

~Feel your emotions, but control your behavior~ Unknown


Posts: 2180 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Oregon
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope your lawyer has answered you. I would send him an email stating:

It is noted that you have cancelled your direct deposit into our joint account for bills. Please be reminded that you need to deposit $xxx.xx before Jan 1st to cover (mortgage, your cell bill, etc) as per the court orders. Also please be advised that it is noted you removed xxx for gas money. As you did not direct deposit your cheque to the account, you are no longer able to remove money for that purpose. Please return those funds to the account.

Then you go and change your direct deposit to another account that is just yours, and transfer your half of the bill money to the joint account. If you continue to deposit all of your funds, he's going to continue to remove them.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5405 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Then you go and change your direct deposit to another account that is just yours, and transfer your half of the bill money to the joint account. If you continue to deposit all of your funds, he's going to continue to remove them.

This is my concern...I am waiting for my attny to email me back about the accounts. I would like to go ahead and open my own checking acct. I know that STBXH taking money out of the joint account was just to spite me...I mean, I dont really make enough for it even to matter to him (Hell, my entire month's salary cant even cover one of our mortgages). He's about to be up shit creek without a paddle though, since he's solely responsible for the mortgages and pretty much everything else...I will pay my cell phone and the gas bill that is in my name...and I am no longer going to be the one to sit down and actually send out the payments for him since he has removed me from the job of financial manager. It's only a matter of time before he's behind on one or both of the mortgages...

Seriously though...what an asshat.


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lisa - Please consider this in combination with him taking your daughter, and what it could mean.

I am seriously concerned that he has gathered enough money and set up the opportunity for him to disappear with her. You should be as well.

Great you talked to your daughter this morning, but if he were to take off with her, how many hours head start does he have by the time she is supposed to call again? Bad things happen to good people. One thing he has proven to you for sure is that he cannot be trusted.

I pray my gut is wrong, and that I am way off base here, but were it my kid I would be driving like a bat outa hell to get to her, and get her back home. This is scary stuff when all put together. You need to protect your child and yourself.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8086 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 13

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