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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Divorce final
Melody3
♀ Member
Member # 33591
Default  Posted: 5:13 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As of yesterday at 8 a.m. it became final.

I feel numb.


BS (me): 38
WH: 38
Separated: 9/2/2010
DDay: 10/2010 PA with OW. Married 13 yrs, Together 20
Two kids, 8 (daughter) & 4(son)
Divorced 12/2013
OW moves 10 min's away from kids and I with my Ex. 6/2014.

Posts: 788 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
copout
♀ Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have 3 weeks until my trial to finalize mine.
I have been full of anxiety.Is the numb a good or bad feeling?
I'm really looking forward to a new beginning.
Hugs to you and your children


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 290 | Registered: Jan 2009
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't feel joyous at getting the D finalized either. But it is an important step to moving forward and I'm glad that you've got there.
((((Melody))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4619 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
macakipa
♀ Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^ what tesla said.

(((Melody3)))


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Melody))))


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8677 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Melody3
♀ Member
Member # 33591
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone.

I think in the end neither one of us really wanted this.......

But it's a new beginning. If things are meant to be in the future they will be and if not we'll always be the parents of two great little ones.


BS (me): 38
WH: 38
Separated: 9/2/2010
DDay: 10/2010 PA with OW. Married 13 yrs, Together 20
Two kids, 8 (daughter) & 4(son)
Divorced 12/2013
OW moves 10 min's away from kids and I with my Ex. 6/2014.

Posts: 788 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a new season in your life and a huge adjustment. Be good to you! (((Melody)))


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Melody3
♀ Member
Member # 33591
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AFter everything that has happened people think I should be a bitter unhappy bitch to him. But I'm not. Is it wrong? Honestly, I don't think it's who I am. Trust me I have been mad as hell at times!!! Maybe some men and women are but I'd rather not hold onto that hate and set a better example for our children too.........


BS (me): 38
WH: 38
Separated: 9/2/2010
DDay: 10/2010 PA with OW. Married 13 yrs, Together 20
Two kids, 8 (daughter) & 4(son)
Divorced 12/2013
OW moves 10 min's away from kids and I with my Ex. 6/2014.

Posts: 788 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
Melody3
♀ Member
Member # 33591
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is a huge adjustment. One day at a time.....I just gotta take care of me which I'm not used to...


BS (me): 38
WH: 38
Separated: 9/2/2010
DDay: 10/2010 PA with OW. Married 13 yrs, Together 20
Two kids, 8 (daughter) & 4(son)
Divorced 12/2013
OW moves 10 min's away from kids and I with my Ex. 6/2014.

Posts: 788 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Melody3)))

Focus on your new beginning and getting away from the constant rollercoaster you've been on for years!

You do not have to be a bitter bitch! You don't have to be friends with him -- but you don't have to be a bitch either.

Focus on you an your kiddos!

(((HUGS)))


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
Melody3
♀ Member
Member # 33591
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm feeling very very anxious. I don't think I should have went thru w/ this yesterday. We were not 100% sure. BUt we were not 100% sure about reconciling either.

I see my counselor tomorrow. I think I need it as I feel confused.


BS (me): 38
WH: 38
Separated: 9/2/2010
DDay: 10/2010 PA with OW. Married 13 yrs, Together 20
Two kids, 8 (daughter) & 4(son)
Divorced 12/2013
OW moves 10 min's away from kids and I with my Ex. 6/2014.

Posts: 788 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
badmedicine
♀ Member
Member # 41692
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Melody3 I can empathize with all of this and it is so hard. So painful.

You don't have to be angry and bitter. This is someone you love(d). I don't want to get divorced either and I have come thisclose to calling my attorney and telling her to wait. WH said he wanted R at first but made no effort over 5 months and I just kept getting hurt. I can't imagine having kids wrapped up in this and I agree that a good example is important. Just make sure your heart is safe and that you can heal it. Boundaries are important; bitchiness is not. Keep a list of your reasons for divorce and keep it handy. Even when you feel sad and want to have your marriage back reading that list should bring you back to the reality and the lack of R. Not saying the reality is warm and sunny, but it is real and not fantasy dreams.

Keep going and posting. ((hugs))


"The wishbone will never replace the backbone." -Will Henry
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it." -Dorothy Parker

Posts: 208 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand Melody. If you truly change your mind, it's not that hard to undo a Divorce. However, you can love someone and just not be able to be with them. You don't have to be a bitch, and you don't have to be a friend, there is plenty of middle ground to explore.

Personally, I just recently turned the corner from anger at my STBXH. He's a sad pathetic little boy who's gotten himself into some really grown up trouble. I will never say never about reconciling, because I would have said he'd never cheat on me. That obviously didn't work.

Allow yourself plenty of time to adjust to your new normal. At least you are protected legally.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1750 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((HUGS))))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9650 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 14

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