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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is my wife cheating...again?
IThinkILoveMyWif
♂ New Member
Member # 41817
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Someone help me out here, which one of those little icons do I hit for a quoted reply?

Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: New York
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Copy what you want to quote.

Hit "reply" at the bottom of the thread.

Paste into the white box.

Highlight it again and then click on quote at the left side of the box.


Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 543 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Copy what you want to quote.

Hit "reply" at the bottom of the thread.

Paste into the white box.

Highlight it again and then click on quote at the left side of the box.


Like that^^^


Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 543 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
IThinkILoveMyWif
♂ New Member
Member # 41817
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why would he block you on FB if there was nothing to hide? He is probably worried you will out him there!

He probably is. I still can't find his wife on there though. He probably deactivated her account. I can't see her not having one, everyone does.


Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: New York
IThinkILoveMyWif
♂ New Member
Member # 41817
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doesn't hurt to check. If you find any strange numbers, you can use namefromphone.com to find the owner.

I'll check, but I think she's too smart for that.


Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: New York
IThinkILoveMyWif
♂ New Member
Member # 41817
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So quoting works.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: New York
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't see her not having one, everyone does.

Don't be so sure. Last I checked I have about 600 facebook friends, but I know about 30-40 people who do not facebook and have no intention of ever doing so. It's possible she doesn't have one.

eta: to change a word

[This message edited by Chicky at 11:19 PM, December 29th (Sunday)]


Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 543 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome - I would be willing to bet my lunch that she is up to no good. This whole story have red flags all over it.

You mentioned that she had cheated in the past, and you had moved on, but did she do the hard work of figuring out why she chose to cheat? If not then you can bet she is up to no good.

As far as finding out more, and getting more information, I would suggest that you put a VAR (voice activated recorder) in her car for the days you don't ride together, one in the house, for the days she is off. I would also look into spyware for her phone. I would also strongly suggest doing a good top to bottom search of home, and car for a second/burner phone. If she knows that you are on to her, she will do her best to make you feel crazy, and hide what she is really up to. Since you don't have hard proof of what she is up to, I would try to let things die down, and let them get comfortable again if you truly need proof to move forward.

In the meantime I would strongly urge you to see an attorney, and a Dr for STD testing. If you are having trouble with the basics of life because this is overwhelming you then talk to your dr about something to help with anxiety, and depression.

Remember you did nothing to cause this, you deserve much more out of life, but it's up to you to demand it. Figure out what you want, if she is cheating, would you want to R? If so what would she need to do to make it work? If not then be prepared to follow through with the next steps.

Keep reading (look in the healing library over to the left side of your screen) keep posting, and stay strong for yourself and your kids.

((((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8249 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely sounds fishy to me. The story about how he got two and gave her one....well almost believable until they started lying about it. If it was that innocent why come up with a lie about her dad giving it to her and all that??? Makes no sense!


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
gutfeeling
♀ Member
Member # 41652
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you have your answer -

You looked for him on facebook BEFORE you confronted him (the only time he would have known you were upset if their story is remotely true - it's not of course). You couldn't find him. HE HAD YOU BLOCKED ALREADY.

There are two options - he had you blocked way before (because he's having an affair with your wife and this way you can't see things he posts on her wall (or in general) or your wife managed to contact him *as soon as you told her* your concerns and then he blocked you.

Either way - no blocking unless something fishy is going on. Something fishy is going on.

[This message edited by gutfeeling at 1:57 PM, December 30th (Monday)]


Posts: 155 | Registered: Dec 2013
gutfeeling
♀ Member
Member # 41652
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also - are you sure he *has* a wife?

Throwing out what your WW and he claim?

Any third party verification?


Posts: 155 | Registered: Dec 2013
gutfeeling
♀ Member
Member # 41652
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also - if your brother is friends with your WW on fb, I'd ask your brother to let you log on as him (to see what this DB has written/liked on her wall).

Posts: 155 | Registered: Dec 2013
IThinkILoveMyWif
♂ New Member
Member # 41817
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My brother is not friends with him on Facebook and neither is my wife. My brother is confident that he does have a wife because he remembers him working a ton of overtime to save for his wedding.

All that being said, I think I've cracked this case. The only thing I don't have is a confession. At this point, I don't even think I need it.

Last night, I logged onto Verizon's website and checked her call history for the last month. I looked up all the numbers that were frequently contacted that I didn't recognize. I didn't find much in the way of names, but I found this: I sorted the calls by length. All of the longest calls were with one number that I didn't recognize. I added them all up and it totalled out to roughly 8 hours of talk time. This was in one month. So I called this number from my phone. I blocked my number with *67. No one answered and the voicemail hadn't been set up yet. I went to sleep. When I woke up, I took her phone without her knowing and called this number unblocked. Someone picks up and pauses before saying hello. I recognized his voice. I said, "Who is this?" He hung up. I sent him a message from her phone saying, "Well if that doesn't confirm everything, I don't know what will."

Then I go back inside, I call her into the bedroom and show her the screenshot of the number that I took on my iPad. I asked her if she knew who's number it was. She said she had no idea. I asked her again. I told her she spent 8 hours on the phone with this person over the last month and asked her again. She still denied it. Then I told her that I called it and I recognized the voice. Then she asked me what I wanted her to tell me. I told her just the truth. I asked who's number it was and she said she guessed it was his. She claimed she didn't memorize numbers. Somehow she's been in constant contact with this number and its not saved. She's still sticking with that just friends story - even after I had her dead to rights.

So I guess that's it for now. She still hasn't admitted it, but I'm sure she will in due time. It's so obvious what's going on now. I think she's somehow still trying to protect his marriage.

She put in a couple of transfers to Florida. She thinks she's taking my kids away from me, but I'm sure I have some legal rights there. That's a story for another day though.

[This message edited by IThinkILoveMyWif at 9:46 PM, December 30th (Monday)]


Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: New York
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You definitely have legal rights and you need to protect them NOW before she can spin a story (or outright lie) to do what she wants. She's got too much heads up as it is for someone who is bent on lying and manipulating. Now you need to focus on your rights as a father. See a lawyer tomorrow. I don't want yours to be one of the nightmare stories we've read on SI and elsewhere.

Please brother, protect yourself asap.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3736 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you still have access to her phone check it for app's including kik and whatsapp. Google "texting app's"
That may be a way she keeps in touch with him without it showing up too much on the phone bill.

It's good you trusted your gut from the start. The whole $300 present thing doesn't make any sense, I've only ever received gifts like that from boyfriends. And if a male coworker offered to give me something like that, I'd politely decline. And I'm single.

Best wishes.


Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you were able to find some truth, painful as it is. At least you know now and can begin to protect yourself. She's lying, denying, and gaslighting you to hell and back. Ditto Brandon, see an attorney ASAP, and I wouldn't let her know your plans!


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9694 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
toby
♂ Member
Member # 10337
Default  Posted: 2:58 AM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good job on finding the truth!!! I'm sure right now they are in damage control. Find the OM's wife and tell her what you know. Contact a lawyer ASAP!!!! Protect yourself and children.

Posts: 1539 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Texas
stratus722
♀ Member
Member # 35907
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you prayers for you and your kids. Get mad and do what you need to do. She doesn't deserve you!!! They really thought they were so smart with their story.

Posts: 102 | Registered: Jun 2012
keptmyword
♂ Member
Member # 35526
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He had you blocked on Facebook because he has been sexually involved with your wayward wife. My XWW's adultery partner did the identical thing to me. He gave the tablet to your wife because he hoped it would allow them to communicate in a secret way without you being able to know or trace it. Most likely he wanted to use it to communicate visually to enhance their bullshit fantasy fest. Similar with my XWW but it was an iPhone she got even though she already had a smartphone with our family plan.

She is denying it because she is stunned and dumbfounded that the fantasy bubble has burst and cold hard reality has stormed in. She will get nasty and ugly with you because you are the one who burst the bubble and rained humiliating reality over it. See a lawyer quickly and begin protecting yourself and your children.


I Divorced Her.

Posts: 362 | Registered: May 2012
justastatistic
♂ New Member
Member # 36314
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry this happened to you. Get to a lawyer, quick. That "Transfers to florida" thing is scary.

Posts: 33 | Registered: Jul 2012
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