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Newest Member: manwhocantbemove (45699)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is my wife cheating...again?
♀ Member
Member # 38803
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry you found our little club but trust the advice from everyone here. Somehow the cheaters all have the same playbook. The first thing they try and do is deny and figure out what you know. Then they contact their AP to get a story straight and take it underground.

Get a VAR, find out who his wife is and send her the messages. And what is up with that transfer thing??!! I would get an apt with a lawyer ASAP!

Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14
Very skeptically in R for now...

Posts: 270 | Registered: Mar 2013
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get to a lawyer immediately. Tell him you suspect she is trying to relocate and take the kids with her.

File for divorce and file an injunction barring her from taking the children out of state during the D proceedings.

She is having an affair. You trusted your gut and it paid off.

Is this guy married? You may want to call his wife and have her do some sleuthing on her end.

[This message edited by DefeatedDad at 2:34 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)]

Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.

Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please listen to this advice. We do NOT want to read a post from you about how your kids are suddenly in another state. Once she moves you then have the added complication of dealing with two different jurisdictions. Without any existing court orders that will be a nightmare. If you kid an injunction and she tries to relocate the kids then you have an amazing amount of legal standing then.

D final 8/2012

Posts: 4081 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
♂ New Member
Member # 41662
Revenge  Posted: 6:41 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My phone bill online gives me all the calls and text, but not content ... but then content hardly matters at this point. Just saying there are things that can't be covered up.

D-Day: 5 Dec 2012
NC date: waiting
Me, BS, 57 years
WW, 53 years
Married 30 years at time.

Posts: 31 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: NM
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If a married co-worker of mine (and I'm single right now, mind you) gave me a Kindle Fire for a gift, I would have given it back to him, insisted it was too much, and would have IMMEDIATELY cooled off our friendship. For what it's worth, I am not that chummy with any of the men I work with for that very reason-- it's inappropriate, unprofessional, and shows VERY poor boundaries.

Even if nothing is going on with this guy, and I hate to say that my gut is telling me otherwise, their relationship sounds unprofessional at the VERY least. You can be good co-workers and friendly without being close buddies. I may not be seen as warm and fuzzy at work, but I'd like to think that I'm seen as reliable, hard-working, and collegial.

Your wife, at the very least, needs to scale back any friendship (if it is just a friendship) with any guy who is buying or giving her a gift like that.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, especially after you've already given her the gift of R. Take care of yourself.

ETA: I read the rest of the thread. I'm sorry to see that your suspicions were right.

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 7:02 PM, December 31st (Tuesday)]

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3633 | Registered: Oct 2011
♂ Member
Member # 33212
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get a lawyer. Find out your rights and protect the kids.

Then take the bill info and find the OM's wife asap.


Posts: 966 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New York
♂ Member
Member # 41927
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a firm firm believer in once a cheater always a cheater. This is based on my experience, research and case studies.

I may not be right, but who cares. Better safe than sorry.

I think shes cheating. This is based on the fact that she did it before. Plain and simple.

In the end, your gut, that sour feeling in your stomach, knows the truth.

I knew my wife was cheating the whole year, but I was in denial so bad. I didnt want to face it. What a horrible horrible year. Dont do that to your self brother.
I should have went with my gut.

We are here for you.

Good luck my friend

BH: 36 (me)
WS: 31 / OM: 31
Son: 12
Affair: 1.5 year long 2012
ONS with stranger Feb 2013
D-day #1 March 2013
D-day #2 April 2013
D-day #3 Sept 2013
Affair continued.
Limbo 7 months
Moved out - 180D - NC
She recently ended it with OM

Posts: 195 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Tampa Florida
Topic Posts: 47
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