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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: so lonely :-(
brokenfairy
♀ Member
Member # 32818
Default  Posted: 4:41 AM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh wow, thank you so very much for the support guys. It brings home sad realisation that, as I sit here alone and tearful, even somewhere across the world, someone else is too :-( I really need to drag myself out of this funk, it's so draining!

Thank you again fellow si-ers, you are all amazing people.


ME: BGF, 39 (was 37 on DDay)
HIM: XWBF, 55 ~ not worthy
CHILDREN: D15, S12
D-DAY: 21.06.11
A DURATION: 18+M

Posts: 415 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: UK
crazynot
♀ Member
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely there with you... and while what I'm about to suggest may sound trite, it really does work. Try, however you can, to widen the circle of people you know. I did this because I'm a freelance worker who moves a lot between different work settings, and everywhere I go I make new friends. I have moved away from the area where WH lives and where our married life was - that helped too, but I only did it when the kids were finished with school, so I can see it might not be an option for you. Basically, the more you look outwards and focus on the present moment, the more the loneliness will fade. But it IS a horror...


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 860 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
RealityStinks
♂ Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it too! I have some single friends, but most of my closer friends are married. I guess that happens when you marry as young as I did. I catch myself feeling like the 3rd or 5th wheel all the time, but no one has ever excluded me.

I am making it a point to branch out to my single friends more now. I'm also trying to pick up old hobbies that dropped off when I got married, and I'm sure I'll develop friendships there too. I'm also working out more. Basically, I'm DOING whatever I can find to occupy my time. When I catch myself feeling sorry for myself, I do something. It seems to help. You have to learn to find joy in the smallest of things.

The only time I've felt bad about it at all was this past Thursday when I talked with the WW (made the mistake of answering the phone). I had gone to a married friend's 30th b-day party 2 weeks ago. WW said she was not going, but when I spoke with her she told me that she did go. The guys and I were all in the basement playing cards and the girls stayed upstairs (everyone else's W made an appearance downstairs). I felt like a dumb ass because I was the only one there that night that didn't know she came. You would think she would of at least come down and said hello (but she did lie because she said she wasn't going). That's the worst I've felt in a long time.


Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am there with you all too. Was sobbing on the bathroom floor asking Him to give me strength to keep going strong for my kids and elderly mom who need me.

Brokenfairy, you are so young, you have so much time left. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Things will get better, it is just going to take a lot of time. Hang in there.


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with married ho-worker. Kicked him out, he filed

Posts: 587 | Registered: Mar 2003
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

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