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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Update on He took DD...
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I swear to all that is holy, this asshat just did this whole thing to spite me...and I'm pretty sure it will bite him in the ass later.

So, anyone who read the last post knows STBXH took DD and did not bring her back at the agreed upon time, because of a SURPRISE trip that he had magically packed for in advance.

Now...I have spoken with DD every single day since the asshat took her, so allow me to review what's happened since then.

The idiot forgot her medication, so I had to pester the shit out of his extended family via having DD ask people to go to the store and buy it for her while she was on the phone with me...someone did eventually get it (I'm pretty sure it was STBXH's father)

The idiot didnt bother to pack shoes, so the only shoes DD had was a pair of new Christmas shoes she was prancing around my mother's house in when STBXH picked her up. STBXH's father did end up purchasing DD a pair of shoes.

The pants my DD had to wear today were pants that were supposed to go to Goodwill, because they are two sizes too small...DD said she had to button them "below her belly..." whatever that means (I dont know how the hell she got them on). This is what STBXH thought was appropriate to pack...he knows DD SO WELL, right??

Now, for the fun part of STBXH's "parenting"

1)he left her with his mother Thursday night and came back into our city...and stayed at a friends' house.

2) he worked half a day on Friday, then dragged her to the south side of our state that afternoon/night, so that she got to her great grandmother's house hours after bedtime.

3) he dragged her to the zoo IN THE RAIN on Saturday, until the rain got to be overwhelming, at which point, he packed her up and DROVE HER BACK TO HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE (in the middle of our state)...he then LEFT and came back to our city, and stayed with a friend.

4) DD watched TV all day at STBXHs mother's house, because STBXH did not bother to go back to his mom's house...because he has to work tomorrow...I have no idea what the hell STBXH did today, but I know he came back to the marital home, since he put the bills that were on his bed back in the kitchen (yeah, right, like I'M going to pay them after you changed your direct deposit?? Hell no, it's HIS credit, not mine).

Seriously?? Even when he's got DD, he STILL cant parent. He just dumped her off on everyone else. And my poor DD, she's bored...she could have been spending her Christmas break playing with her friends and spending time with a mother who would have LOVED to play with her...but no...that selfish asshat had to try to make a point (or whatever the hell he was trying to do...I'm still up in the air on what the point of all this was).

And my DD is the one who suffered for his selfishness. THIS type of shit is why I will fight to the death in court trying to keep him from getting custody.

[This message edited by lisaloo at 10:34 PM, December 29th (Sunday)]


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I'm sure everyone else has said, Document, Document, Document.

You are absolutely right. Your STBXH is doing this to make some sort of point that only makes sense in his own twisted logic. Aggravating as hell, but in a way, he's hanging himself as far as custody goes. Let him have the rope, as long as he brings her home soon.

((hugs))


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1643 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm anxiously awaiting the post that she is home safe and sound with you! Until then- stay strong!!!


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It looks like he is just doing everything to prevent her from being with you on her time off ... dickwad


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 2:25 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He doesn't care where she is or what she is doing as long as she's NOT with you!

His decisions and actions prove his hatred of you outweighs the love he has for his DD.

Hopefully one day the scales tip in the other direction, till then document, document.

Hope she comes home safe and soon!


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5012 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
lifestoshort
♀ Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

if she is not with ex, go show up where ever child is, and GET HER. no way will a police officer keep you from child at someone elses home. GO. i dont care if its 4 hrs away. GO


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 691 | Registered: Mar 2008
lifestoshort
♀ Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Your STBXH is doing this to make some sort of point that only makes sense in his own twisted logic. Aggravating as hell, but in a way, he's hanging himself as far as custody goes."

in some ways this is true but in my state, i didnt have my son for a month. my ex took him and i didnt want to upset son, when it came to court it wasnt even an issue to them. but it was noted in papers specific days I would have kids and times, so the next time he pulled it, and he did, I called police and showed papers and kids had to stay with me


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 691 | Registered: Mar 2008
anewday78
♂ Member
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to go pick her up wherever he dumped her off. It's your right, your duty, and your obligation. Don't let him victimize you or YOUR DAUGHTER.

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really think your lawyer is doing you a disservice. She advised you not to get DD even though he's not with her, right?

In the end, your DD will be the one that pays.

He's not her father. Not biologically and not through actions. Best case, she's a pawn. Worst case, you're leaving her in the hands of a man who is planning on using her as more than a manipulation tool.

IMO it's time to get a second legal opinion, preferably from an attorney who specializes in adoptions. Your lawyer isn't the shark she needs to be and you and your DD are paying for it.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11114 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really hope he brings her back.

It sounds like he put zero thought into taking her..didn't take her meds..only one pair of shoes..he isn't spending much time with her..the clothes he did pack don't even fit..

It bothers me that you had to pester someone to go get her her medicine. It sounds like no one is caring for this child.

I agree. If your attorney is telling you to sit and wait for him to bring her back, she is doing you, and more importantly, your DD, a disservice. She isn't being taken care of. You need to go get her.

I will be really surprised if he brings her back on time.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7297 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The thing that worries me is you are setting a precedent.

The court can say to you, "Obviously, you were OK with her being dropped off with his parents and relatives. Therefore, we rule he can take her ..........."

Please fight this with every ounce of your body.

Everyone here is telling you the same thing.....for a reason.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2628 | Registered: Jan 2010
Topic Posts: 11

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